Mental Health, Made Real

Mental health gets talked about like a secret, but it shows up in our thoughts, our bodies, our relationships, and the way we handle pressure every single day. Yanni sits down with Marcella, who’s in school for marriage and family therapy, to make the conversation honest, practical, and faith-friendly without turning it into something heavy or shame-filled. We get real about what happens when you’re overwhelmed, stuck in doomscrolling, carrying old grief, or trying to look “fine” while you’re quietly falling apart.

We dig into coping skills that actually fit real life: journaling when your mind feels loud, prayer and worship music when you need calm, movement and fresh air when anxiety spikes, and small self-care routines that help you feel grounded again. Marcella shares what it’s like to hear “no” in a major moment, and why letting yourself feel sad or angry can be healthier than rushing to “get over it.” We also talk about the power of small wins, because wellness might mean brushing your teeth, cleaning your room, or simply getting out of bed on a hard day.

Then we get specific about therapy and counseling: why a licensed therapist can help in ways friends can’t, how confidentiality builds safety, and how to find affordable options like sliding scale therapy. If you’re in the Permian Basin or Midland area, we even name local resources to help you get started. We also tackle stigma around diagnosis and medication, and share a simple reminder: a diagnosis can support you, but it does not define you.

If you’ve been thinking about getting help, let this be your nudge. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs hope, and leave a review so more people can find real mental health support.

Transcript

Welcome And Podcast Mission

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello everyone. Welcome to Standing in Your Truth Podcast with your host Yanni. On this podcast, you'll hear Yanni, family and friends, having open-ended discussions on anything from faith, finances, relationships, and how to stay motivated during life's trying times. Make sure to follow on all social media platforms. The social media link is in the bio. Sit back and get ready to enjoy.

Spring Break Check In

SPEAKER_04 0:31

Hello everyone. Welcome to another episode of Standing Your Truth Podcast. I am your host, Yanni. How are you guys doing? It's spring break. Well, technically the end of spring break, actually, that I'm recording this. But hopefully, you guys plan to trips with your families. If not, take some time to rest and maybe get organized. Hopefully, or maybe just rest. Heck, it may not even be organized. I get that. And I took a trip to California, which I'll record a whole nother episode on because that trip was definitely one for the books. But today we'll be talking about a topic that's near and dear to my heart. And I have a special guest with me. So I'm gonna let her introduce herself.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Hi, I'm Marcella. I am going to school right now to be a marriage and family therapist. So being invited to talk about this topic was really something very special. I was so excited to do this. And yeah, I'm ready to talk all things mental health and make it positive, make it fun because it's not taboo. It's not something that's hush hush hush. Like we we all have a brain, we all have our own things going on. Yeah, yeah, I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_04 1:49

Yeah, no, I'm I'm excited as well. That's so funny. She said not taboo. That's like one of the main things that people say about mental health. So obviously, our topic is it's my jumro. Um, mental health.

unknown 2:04

Woo!

SPEAKER_04 2:06

All right, so we're gonna start with our house questions. So, what m motivates you?

SPEAKER_01 2:12

I really am motivated by helping others.

SPEAKER_04 2:16

Yeah, I felt that. I felt that. That's that's me too.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Yeah, like sometimes I do admit like I'll help others a little too much, where I like push myself aside and I'm getting better at it, but I'm still motivated to help others, no matter like what it is.

SPEAKER_04 2:33

Yeah, I I felt that the boundaries are definitely important. So, how do you protect your uh mental health? Uh yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

The way I protect my mental health is I notice it kind of going a little wild whenever I'm just like doom scrolling on Facebook and see all the news and everything that's just going on. I kind of like literally throw my phone on my bed and I'm like, nope, I'm gonna not look at that anymore. And I just take time to just breathe. I pray, I pray, I play worship music, I go on a walk, or I exercise, you know. Like that's kind of the way I protect my mental health in a sense. And if needed, I talk it out with someone because, you know, or I journal. I do love journaling. So I do recommend journaling.

SPEAKER_04 3:27

Yeah, I feel like journaling is one of those things that people don't really realize the benefits of it until they actually kind of get into it. Even myself, I don't do the best at journaling. I could probably it's probably been about two months since I've written in mind, but I do have one that I pull out from time to time when I feel like I need it, which I now realize I probably should be doing that more. But journaling is a good one. So how do you protect your I'm sorry, what is your ah, as one says what is your your self-care routine? Is it anything different besides what you do for your mental health?

SPEAKER_01 4:04

I kind of like I do like skincare. I'll do my hair every now and then instead of just throwing it up in a clip. You know, I'm like, if I'm like, I want to wear an outfit, I'll wear an outfit, you know, like type of thing. And I I like the motto, like, if you look good, you feel good, yeah, type of thing. So I've been doing that a lot more, and I noticed like it's helping a bunch, you know, like really being intentional with like outfits or like makeup or like I love doing my nails now, like painting. You do your own nails? Yeah, painting them or press-ons.

SPEAKER_04 4:36

So I'm a press-on girl. Thanks to my sister-in-law, Camille. If you're listening, shout out to you. Um, yeah, she I have the whole like the light, yeah, and I think it's the builder gel that makes your nails hard. Yes, yeah. Yeah, I have the whole setup.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

Yeah, I get my I get my press-ons from like Walmart or like Marshall's TJ Maxx.

SPEAKER_04 4:56

So I heard I haven't tried Marshall TJ Maxx, but I heard they have like the good ones.

SPEAKER_01 5:00

Yes, they do.

SPEAKER_04 5:01

I'm gonna have to actually make my way. I'm definitely a Walmart CVS Walgreens or my recent ones, but and they're only like$10.

SPEAKER_06 5:09

I know, girl.

SPEAKER_04 5:10

If you don't like it, just pop them off and keep going.

SPEAKER_06 5:12

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 5:13

Because you go to the no salon sometimes and you'll never be cricket. I know, and they be the wrong coat. And you didn't sat there for two hours.

SPEAKER_02 5:20

I know, and then I'm there, I don't speak up, and I'm like, I love them.

SPEAKER_04 5:24

And then go home and be like, I hate these. Yeah, I know. We do the same thing. Yeah, maybe I'm like, I felt that in so many different ways. I'd be like, now how do I explain this charge on the card that's$200 for something else?

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Right?

Friends, Growth, And Letting Go

SPEAKER_04 5:37

That part. Okay, so what advice would you give your younger self? Or I could do maybe just say someone younger.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Yeah, for someone younger, friends are everything.

SPEAKER_04 5:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

Because I know I from learned experience, like I tried to keep all my friends from like junior high. Like, if I had a good friend group or like what I thought was good, I'm like, oh, like this is it. These are my friends for life. And naturally, we all drifted away in high school, but I still had somewhat of a friend group. I'm like, okay, I need to hold on to these, like they're still here. Like into adulthood, they drifted away even more. So I'm like, okay, well, like friends aren't everything, and I'm even making more friends at church. So, like, high school and like past life friends, it's okay if those drift away. Yeah, you know, and like for younger me, like it does get better, you know, days are good. Love yourself because I had really hard time with like insecurities and self-struggles. So I would just tell my younger self to love yourself, like where you are right now and who you are in this moment, because God made you that way. Why would you want to be someone different? So, power of contentment.

SPEAKER_04 6:49

Hmm, that's a good one. Friends are everything. Well, they are, it's like they are, but they aren't. Because if you have the wrong friend group, that's really gonna send you down the wrong path.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Yeah, I learned I wasn't in the right friend group.

SPEAKER_04 7:00

So yeah, unfortunately, I felt that. I learned the hard way. Or I forgot the exact prayer, but the prayer they say, like, Lord, if this person is not for me, remove them. And then all of a sudden, like your whole back porch is swept up and you don't got nobody. You're like, okay, Lord, hold on, wait.

unknown 7:17

Hold on.

SPEAKER_04 7:17

I wasn't actually prepared for the whole group to go, and I didn't maybe I did or didn't realize that I didn't need those people. So you don't, yeah, that's that's what anything about that. Yeah, what is your mindset when you're told no or like a door shuts?

Handling A No Without Numbing

SPEAKER_01 7:32

So when you sent me these questions, I had just learned that I didn't pass my test. Oh so I was like, oh man. So like, um Wow, my mindset is like like I'm speaking on my current mindset. Right. Yeah, so it's like So what you feeling right now? I'm feeling sad.

SPEAKER_04 7:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

And I was angry, but not at God. I was like more angry at myself because I missed it by seven points. Seven little points.

SPEAKER_04 8:02

Is that seven points mean like seven questions? Or yeah, really?

SPEAKER_01 8:06

Seven questions from like the considered passing score. So I was just more angry at myself. I was like, man, I thought I could do it, you know? And so like my mindset is like, okay, like, yes, I'm upset. Yes, this hurts. Like, man, this this hurt because you know, I had this plan, I had this dream. Once I pass, I get my license, I can go like somewhere like to Lubbock and like move and like grow my career there. And I was like telling myself, like, oh man, my life can change within this week because I'm getting my test results, you know, and so I just kept telling myself, like, you know what, I'm fine either way, if I pass or if I fail. And so when I saw that I failed, I was like, wait, I'm not fine, hold on. So, like, whenever there is a door shut, whenever there is a no, I do let myself feel it because if I don't, it's gonna come up later and just be like 10 times more. So, but I still have like the hope that like, yes, I can do it, no matter what the no is, no matter what the short shut door is. And you know, like I can't do it by myself. I need like my family, a community to help me through this because that's what it's for. You know, like don't do it alone whenever you get told no or whenever there's a shut door.

SPEAKER_04 9:30

So that's that is a great, great answer. I think that's definitely some vulnerability there for sure. Yeah, for sure, especially when you're you're in the no and having to figure that out right now. And there's something you when you said to sit in it, it's so funny because I feel like sometimes we don't want to sit in it.

SPEAKER_01 9:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:52

We we want the to get out. Yes and then to get out and figure it out. Which like you said, sometimes it's important just to sit. It really and figure it out, and actually I think it also helps understand the feelings that you're feeling.

SPEAKER_01 10:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:11

I think sometimes we move so fast that we don't actually don't know what we feel.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

Oh yeah, because like I knew I was like, okay, I need to distract myself because I mean, like, okay, I have work, I have homework as I have this, I have that, but then I'm like, I can't push it away, you know, like it's there, it hurts, like I need to feel it. Because if I don't, it's not gonna help anybody. No. So no, not at all.

SPEAKER_04 10:37

But I think it also makes you more relatable, especially once you, you know, really start getting your clients. It's like, hey, I've been through there where you know, my dream for a second was put on pause and then I, you know, I had to reevaluate and figure it out and then go back at it again.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:52

That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

Yes, thank you.

SPEAKER_04 10:54

In a rough situation for sure. But hey, wait, how long do you have to wait to take it again?

SPEAKER_02 10:59

Two months, I believe.

SPEAKER_04 11:00

Okay, so that's two months to study. Right. Two months to also sit in it and I don't want to say get over it, but put it behind you. And let that not be at the you know the forefront.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:12

That's good.

SPEAKER_01 11:13

Yeah, definitely learn from it and not let it define me. I was I was like, oh man, I I couldn't do this. I wasn't one of the ones that passed on the first try.

SPEAKER_05 11:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

And a lot of people share that they've taken it like almost four times. And I was like, oh man, like that's scary too. But you know, I want to hopefully be one of the ones that only has to take it twice, not just multiple times.

SPEAKER_04 11:36

So it's the but I think also just as life goes on, like when you get advice, sometimes sometimes people's story you'd be like, you know, I took it four times. That like you said, oh man, like that could really like for the wrong person that's not I would say like mentally strong, like that can shake you up a little bit. Yeah, at least I think am I gonna have to take this test, you know, four times to be able to pass? That's that's that's interesting. But be like, thank you for your telling your story, but at the same time, I'll be like, uh, I maybe they need to know that you took it four times. Yeah. Alright, so what is one moment in your life that has really shaped you or made a huge impact on your life?

Faith Shifts And Career Calling

SPEAKER_01 12:19

Um I would say, like, whenever we were trying to figure out what church we wanted to go to. So I grew up Catholic. I've really I've as long as I've known, I've been Catholic since until I was about 21. Okay. So we were practicing Catholics and everything, and then COVID hit, and we stopped going to church and everything altogether. Restrictions were lifted, and we're like, well, do we want to go back to church, you know, and things like that. And my parents were like, Well, we don't know if we want to be Catholics anymore. And so I was like, Well, okay, you know, like the religion I grew up with is changing, and that was a little scary. Yeah. And so whenever we first started going to Hope Alive, it really changed us for the better. You know, like our relationships with God changed with each other, changed, we became closer as a family, and I was able to lead a renew class. I was able to like grow this community and meet all these people. I met you, and here we are. Yeah, you know, like so it really has changed my life for the better was like changing churches. Yeah. So it's like one moment I'll always remember forever because I mean, like us the second we walk through those doors, everything really changed, you know.

SPEAKER_04 13:44

That is really cool. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:47

Wow. It's that step on faith. And I could just only imagine how as a family that grew you guys closer together because you're walking in this journey together. And is it your dad that plays? He plays something.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

The guitar, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:02

Okay, I was like, I don't know my instruments, but I know I see him on stage with the thing in his finger, and I was like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 14:07

Yeah, my dad and my brother are up there.

SPEAKER_04 14:09

Oh wow. So, like, I mean, were they doing I don't know enough about Catholic religion, but the I don't think Catholics have instruments, do they?

SPEAKER_01 14:17

They have like a little band, and in our church, we went to St. Elizabeth's, it was like up at the top. Okay. And so they didn't do that part. We just went to one like service, and like that was it really on Sundays. Okay. So we didn't really serve in the church at the Catholic Church. So this is like our first time serving too. Like everyone in our family serves. Wow.

SPEAKER_04 14:40

So wow, that's even so your dad, I'm assuming that he's been playing his whole life.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_04 14:45

And you play, what did you tell me you play? You play something too?

SPEAKER_01 14:48

The violin.

SPEAKER_04 14:49

Yeah, that's I'm yes. That is crazy. Okay, so you, your dad, your brothers, your mom play something?

SPEAKER_01 14:53

No. Okay. She doesn't play anything.

SPEAKER_04 14:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

So she can clap on beat, but we'll take that.

SPEAKER_04 15:01

Because um, some of her neighbors can't lower nose. I'm gonna move on before I get in trouble. Okay, so so what inspired you to become so technically you're going to be a licensed family and marriage counselor. Did I get that right? Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:23

Marriage and family therapy. So like M F T.

SPEAKER_04 15:27

Okay. Yes. So what inspired what inspired you to it's funny. So off recording, I was told her, I said mental health and all these dang on acronyms. I'd be like, what does that actually mean? But anyway, so what inspired you to go for that? Get into that.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

So I always knew that I wanted to work with kids because you know, kids can really get pushed aside when it comes to like divorce or death or tragedies and stuff like that. You know, like they have their way of processing things and they need help because you know their brains aren't fully developed, they're still trying to figure life out. So I always knew I wanted to work with kids, and I wanted to actually be like a school counselor, like in a school and help like out as much kids as I possibly could. And then I realized I was like, man, like their parents are much as part of this, if anything. So I was like, is there any way I can do this with families? And so I found married and family therapy, and I immediately fell in love with it because you know, I could help families, I can help kids, I can help couples who want to be parents, you know, and like learn how to be a parent and things like that. So it was just really cool that I found it because it wasn't like the starting point, really, it was like being a school counselor. So now that I found it, it's great.

SPEAKER_04 16:45

Yeah, that is it's always funny to me how we think our life is gonna be one way, and you keep living and keep trusting God, and you realize, oh snaps, this is not how my life is going. And I actually like it a little better over here, or way better over here. So that's always interesting. And you made a good so you told me earlier that there's technically not one of you in this area, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:13

Yeah, there's not the close there is like one in Midland, but she she was my supervisor and she's like very limited who she sees. Yeah. And there's like another intern at Harmony Home that she sees. Like, but like that's kind of the only really resources of like what I'm studying for.

SPEAKER_04 17:31

Yeah.

unknown 17:32

Here.

SPEAKER_04 17:32

Which is very interesting. And I've learned that you know, we talk a lot about prevention and like you said, getting kids help. But if we're not helping the parents, you're feel you're sending a youth, like you said, that their brains are not fully developed, so they're still trying to figure out their feelings back into an environment that may not be the safest for them, and that that's only gonna have them relapse from back a little in no lack of better words, like they're just gonna go backwards at that point. So I do realize that how important family prevention is and prevention in general, but definitely family prevention. Yes, that's interesting, but it blew my mind that we okay. So you have two people, and I mean for this area that's probably I'm thinking the whole Permian Basin. So, what is that like at least 18 counties? Yeah, at the least, and two people, no, that's not enough at all. And I'm sure other people they can go to other therapy or mental health professionals, but they just won't have the exact knowledge and training that you guys have.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

Right.

Defining Mental Health Beyond Labels

SPEAKER_04 18:39

Which is a little bit of a, I would say probably a deeper dive into a topic. So that's interesting. Okay, so when people hear the words mental health, they often think of something negative. You know what crazy usually comes up when people say they have mental health issues. Probably common thought. But anyway, how would you describe what mental health really means?

SPEAKER_01 19:05

You know, it is hard to put it into words because I mean when you do what we do or what we study, it is so complex. So there's no black and white sentence to put mental health into. You can't put it in a box. Yeah, it's not structured, you know, there's so many aspects to it, and like depending on what your situation is, it can mean a lot of different things, you know. Like mental health can be you feeling gratitude for finding your keys when you're in a rush. You know, mental health can be you're feeling grief because you didn't get the promotion. Yeah, you know, like you have to recognize what you're actually feeling, you know. Like a lot of times I thought I was sad or angry when I realized I was actually grieving, you know. So like actually identifying what you're feeling is part of like kind of what mental health really means, you know, or like a lot of people push away their past, like, oh, like my parents didn't let me cry or they never hugged me, or like they like just as like an example, you know, like and but they're like, but I'm fine now, but I'm like, you gotta unpack some of that. So like not really pushing away like what you went through, you have to face it a little bit, yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_04 20:24

It kind of goes back to what you said earlier, sitting in it, and I've learned the importance of unpacking your suitcase, is what you know I refer to it as. Like, I had to unpack my, you know, a lot of my childhoods and those traumas and memories and situations I had to navigate, you have to unpack some of that. Yeah, because whether you realize it or not, life is gonna hit you with something different every season. The order you get is just something new. Yeah, sometimes they it may be the same thing that may look a little different in reality, but you it that's also getting put into your emotional luggage, your mental health luggage, and you just gotta something if you unpack it, your suitcase, your luggage that you're carrying is lighter.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 21:10

And then also sometimes I see like coping skills as like you know, the wheels that are on your luggage.

SPEAKER_06 21:16

Yes, it is.

SPEAKER_04 21:16

They help you, they help, yeah, it makes it easier. Cause like I said, life is gonna hit you with something different, and something's gonna be going on, and something you're gonna have to navigate. There's people you're gonna have to navigate, Jesus' people. They'd sometimes be trying all of the patience that the God would be giving you.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

I don't know how many times I tell him, God, come get your kids. Nah, I'm trying to tell you.

SPEAKER_04 21:37

Cause I'd be like, I don't I don't know. Like maybe I don't know. The Holy Spirit be just tapping me on my forehead, I feel like, and saying, Girl, be quiet. Yeah. Be quiet. But it's I don't know. I I agree. I don't think mental health is one sentence answer. I don't think you know how. I see mental health versus how you see mental health versus how someone else sees it is different. But I do wish that as a nation, as a community, as a whole, that we would take mental health more serious. That we would, you know, have laws and and things in place to where you go and get your physical, you know, yearly or every two years, depending upon or whatever it is for you. Yeah. You get checked by the doctor. You need to go get checked by a therapist, a counselor, someone and get checked in to make sure you're okay. I think you brought up a good point when you said that, you know, you thought you were angry and you were grieving. A lot of times, you know, life doesn't give you a chance to deal with what life was actually throwing at you. Right. Like, you know, you may lose someone on a Monday, and by Friday or Monday of the next week, you're back at work.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 22:53

And you have to act like everything's normal. And it's not. It's something that I don't that keeps coming up is like spiritually, I just I just think about and pray about, is individuals that are women that, and I guess fathers too, but where miscarriage is, you know, has happened in the family. Because a lot of times that topic's not talked about a lot. Right. No one goes around saying I had a miscarriage for the most part anyway. It's that's grief. That is, but it's not talked about, so it's like, how do you navigate that space?

SPEAKER_01 23:31

Right. It is tough because I've known moms that have had a miscarriage, but they already have a baby. So like they're trying to grieve while their kid is like, mom, check this out. Yeah. Or like, hey mom, I'm hungry. You know, so it is really tough. Like I'm gonna navigate like like miscarriages and like still trying to be a mother and like even like from the dad's side, like trying to care for your wife when you don't know how to, when they're going through that.

SPEAKER_04 24:01

So because I wonder, do you still get like the postpartum, like those emotions on top of grief?

SPEAKER_01 24:10

I think so, yeah, because I mean your body's changing with the baby, and when you lose the baby, your body realizes okay, the baby's not here anymore. So I think it might go through like the whole postpartum process, but I mean hormones and everything is like so interesting. Like the biology of psychology is just so cool to me. Anyway, so like I get it's like piled on for like mothers going through grief and like postpartum and everything.

SPEAKER_04 24:43

That's why I've like I don't I don't even know why it keeps coming up, but I tell you that like even me and Pastor Martha have had conversations about how we just flug that as a um, I guess for lack of better words, an underserved community. Like don't know what exactly or how you know we can help, but we've we've definitely had conversations about it because I think we both feel like it was something needs to be done. We haven't quite figured out what something is, though. Um I processed the idea of maybe having like a like a life support group. But then my thing was how do I lead a life support group where I've never been pregnant, so I don't know what miscarriage is, but I just know that I have a heart and is it empathy, sympathy? I always get them things confused.

SPEAKER_01 25:27

Right. I think empathy is you feel what they're feeling.

Wellness And The Power Of Small Wins

SPEAKER_04 25:30

Sympathy is Okay, so maybe it's sympathy then. Yeah. I always get them confused, I ain't even gonna lie to you. But um I I I just my heart goes out for them. And if I can just create a space for women and men with similar paths, just to come to a like I said, a safe place and have a discussion and you know, pour into them, that'd be something in my yes, but anyway, that's went down a little bit of a rabbit hole. Hey, that's okay. Um okay, so in your what is mental health wellness actually look like in everyday life. I feel like these are actually some like like I sent these to you and I read them, but then like now as I'm like rereading them, I'm like, that's actually a really good question.

SPEAKER_01 26:23

Yeah, like what wellness looks like to me might look different to you. Yeah. Like wellness for someone can be like, I got up and brushed my teeth. Yes. Like that's wellness for somebody. Yes. And wellness can also be I got my first job for the first time in three months after being depressed, you know. Wellness is defined differently for everybody. So, like if you feel at peace when you haven't felt peace in a long time, I think that kind of relates to mental health wellness. Yeah, you know, like what you feel is well, like even the small accomplishments, you're doing them. You have the energy to put your laundry away, you have the energy to go to work, like that is wellness. Yeah, you know, even if society or like whoever doesn't define basic chores as wellness, I think it is.

SPEAKER_04 27:16

I agree with you. I definitely think it's something that is based on like individuality. Is that a word?

SPEAKER_00 27:24

Individuality, I think so.

SPEAKER_04 27:26

Oh, breakfast not. I definitely should put that in the dictionary. Right? It probably is a word, but anyway.

SPEAKER_03 27:31

I don't know how to pronounce it though.

SPEAKER_02 27:33

Individuality?

SPEAKER_04 27:34

Ah, sir, let's go with that. Yeah. I'm like making stuff up as I go. But I do agree. Because at the end of the day, everyone's mental health is different. Like my diagnosis is different from someone else's diagnosis.

SPEAKER_06 27:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:47

And then it's also you may have the same diagnosis, but then maybe you may be, you know, have a is it a higher level, I guess is the right way of saying that.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:55

Than someone else. So it I do agree that it is different. And the small wins are sometimes the biggest ones.

SPEAKER_06 28:03

Exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:04

Because if getting out the bed is a win.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

That is a win.

SPEAKER_04 28:09

So, and some may say, getting out of bed, what do you mean? Nah. For someone that has severe depression and has, you know, been in the bed in the same pajamas for a couple of days. Getting up to shower is getting up and showering, those are two different wins.

SPEAKER_02 28:22

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:23

Brushing teeth, two different wins. Putting on new clothes, that's a whole nother win.

SPEAKER_02 28:26

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:27

Eating a meal. That's hey, right there, that's fine. Yeah, yeah. Because you had to cook the meal too, but depending upon.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

So exactly. You walk outside, that's a win.

SPEAKER_04 28:36

Exactly. Exactly. So little things matter.

SPEAKER_01 28:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 28:41

And they add up to the big hole.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:43

For sure. Okay, where are we at? What are some simple habits people can build into their daily routine to strengthen their mental health?

SPEAKER_01 28:53

I think a lot of people forget that their environment is a big factor for mental health, you know. Like, like your car, your house, your office space, you know, like whatever you spend the most time in, make sure it is clean. You know, like shout out to my sister-in-law Gabby. She told me, like, she follows the motto, don't put it down, put it away.

SPEAKER_05 29:18

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 29:18

Because like if I put stuff down, my counters get like clustered and I'm like freaking out because I have all this stuff going on in my head, and then I see my counters doing it. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm freaking out even more. So, like, keeping your environment the way that keeps you makes you feel safe, that it's clean. Like your environment the way you like to keep it, you know, like it'll honestly really change you for the better. Cause like when my room's clean and I walk into a clean room, I'm like, okay, know me. Yeah. Or like my car smells good, I'm like, all right, you know, stuff like that. My laundry's done, I'm like, all right, look at me go. You know, like I feel like our environment has such a huge impact on how we feel day to day. Because like, if we go to work and our desk is covered with papers from like projects and like, well, I don't know what an office job does, whatever it is. Like if it's cluttered, our mind's gonna be cluttered. Yeah. Like our environment beats how our mental health is, you know. So if our outside is cluttered, our inside is cluttered. Yeah. When we clear it up, we'll feel clear in our head.

SPEAKER_04 30:28

That makes sense. I'm thinking about myself because I know, like, our living room, for instance, is you come through the front door, it's kind of like the room that catches all. And usually in the middle of the week, I take time to clear it. Cause when I walk in and it's like stuff everywhere, immediately my brain goes into solve it, figure out, and I forget exactly like what I'm supposed to be working on. And a lot of times I'm doing my homework in there, and my brain cannot concentrate in a room that's messy.

SPEAKER_06 30:56

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:57

So usually I take a time, take time to, if not once, for sure, twice a week, to reset the house. Like, our house is on a like a dish schedule, like, kitchen needs to be clean, like, it's just one of those things. I function better in clean spaces. Now I say that, but my office at work right now has like every inch of it is taken up by something. But I told my supervisor she came last week and I said, My office may look full, but I can I know what it is and I know where it is, and right now I don't know where else to put it.

SPEAKER_03 31:29

Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 31:30

So, like in that situation, I feel like it doesn't overwhelm me because like I know what's in it and I know why it's in there.

SPEAKER_02 31:37

Right, exactly. Yeah, it's like some organized chaos.

SPEAKER_04 31:40

Yeah, you know it's like literally, literally. I got jackets, I got scooters from Christmas, yeah, I got all kind of stuff in there, but I probably should clear that out. But anyway, that it we talking about right now. Okay, so how can therapy or counseling empower someone rather than make them feel like something's wrong with them?

SPEAKER_01 32:06

I I wanna say they have to try it for them to see because we could talk good about mental health and therapy all they want. Oh, and sometimes it won't even change someone's mind. So you just have to see for yourself because letting it out to someone that isn't your your friend or your relative or something like that, it really is helpful because it's a stranger, like like they have to listen to you, you know, they can't go anywhere. So there's nothing wrong with what you're feeling. Your feelings are valid, what you went through was valid, what you're currently going through is valid. So there's nothing wrong with that. You don't have to fit this standard of like, oh, I can't be sad, I'm a man, or like, oh, like, well, I don't have time because I'm I'm a mom with like four kids, you know, like type of thing. Like, if you make the time, there's nothing wrong with going to therapy, you know. Like, a lot of people like to say, like, oh, like, I don't need a therapist, my friend's my therapist. But I'm like, you gotta go to someone that's licensed to kind of help you.

SPEAKER_04 33:14

I tell you all the time, because nowadays, I don't know about y'all and y'all friends, but in the past, I feel like I have a good set of friends now, but um, in the past, I've had friends where your friends on a Monday and Friday came and they weren't your friend no more.

SPEAKER_06 33:28

Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 33:28

You done told them people everything, and you're gonna hope and pray that they're not outspreading your business. That's how people at the time you get you a therapist, a counselor, or somebody, legally, they can't be going and tell your business unless you what is it, committing suicide or committed a serious crime or something like that. But I mean, if you're just telling them how you don't like your, you know, whatever or whoever, they can't tell nobody.

SPEAKER_01 33:51

They can't tell nobody.

SPEAKER_04 33:52

The four walls in them, but the only ones that know.

SPEAKER_01 33:54

Exactly. If you complain about your boss too, then they're not gonna call you a girl. Let me tell you what she said about you. Exactly. They're not gonna do that. Nope. So, like, it's so cool to have someone you don't know to keep your secrets because they're legally obligated to, and there's nothing wrong with you wanting to vent, even if it's something quote unquote small, yeah, that you might think it's small, you know, or like if your family's like, oh, like no, we don't need therapists, or like mental health is like blah blah blah, like no, we're we're we're men, we need to be men, or like, no, like you don't need to cry it out, just like go ahead and do it, like type of thing. Like, there's there's nothing wrong with asking for help.

SPEAKER_04 34:36

Exactly. There's absolutely there's nothing wrong with asking for help. And I will say, in this area, you have some that do in-person sessions, and you have some that do virtual sessions. Yeah. I started off my first therapist was during COVID time, so I actually met with her I think for the first couple of months, I was every other week. And then eventually, you know, when you became to unpack and she gives you coping skills, you're able to navigate life. So I I got to the point where I was seeing her, I think monthly. Um then I took a break. Yeah. And then I'm back now, but I'm in in-person sessions, which I realize I like better than over the phone.

SPEAKER_06 35:13

Right.

SPEAKER_04 35:14

And I'm going every three weeks. Okay. Because I feel like two weeks was too short, but a month was too long. So three is the you know, good middle part. Perfect. And then I go to High Sky Therapy, I don't even know what it's called, but it's high sky for sure. In Midland. They do have a sliding skill. Just Google them, look them up, give them a call, they'll get you in the right direction. I know I believe Centers has therapy, Texas Tech has a therapy unit. Yes. And there's one more. Oh, is it Permea Care?

SPEAKER_01 35:46

Yes, Permea Care is a good resource.

SPEAKER_04 35:48

Yes. So if you're listening to this and you're in the local area, which is like the premium basin, those are some options for mental health. Because I feel like a lot of times people come up, not shouldn't say come up, but the next thing on the thing is you know, once they find the time, then the next thing is, well, I can't afford it. Right. Which because some people do charge at$125, which I've been known to have to pay. And then I realized this is actually killing me. Right.

SPEAKER_06 36:11

Literally. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:12

And I was like, let's find something else here. Yeah. Um, then I realized that there was some that offer sliding skill options depending on your um income. And I was like, oh, this makes it so much better. So that is an option, and then I also think there's some they need to do sliding skills or they actually may have grants and stuff for their mental health resources to be free. So look into those. And I know for sure, premier care, obviously high sky, and actually, I think all the options I just named all take kids as well.

SPEAKER_02 36:46

And I think Harmony Home does use.

SPEAKER_04 36:50

So listen to this. We just gave you some options. If you're like, hey, I'm listening, you know, where can I find a therapist, a counselor? Look, we just gave you some, call them. Yes. I would say tell them you we referred you, but that gives you absolutely nothing. Yes. But hey, give us a shout out, you know, send us a shout-out or a message and say, hey, you know what? I signed up for therapy. Let us know. Let us know how your process went. I would love to hear it.

SPEAKER_01 37:17

We love to motivate you. Yeah. We're proud of you.

SPEAKER_04 37:20

Yeah, no, it's that's it's a it's definitely a a big step. And I would be honest and say, the first, I would say probably six months for me were the roughest. I think it's just getting through what's at the bottom of that suitcase, yeah, which sometimes is the darkest and deepest. And then once you get past that, and you like I said, you get those coping skills, and now when I go to therapy, I feel like I'm going to talk to my friend.

SPEAKER_06 37:47

Right.

SPEAKER_04 37:48

And I tell her what's going on, and sometimes she'd be like, well, Yani, and you know, she'll let me know where you know I can improve. But now I feel like it's just it's lighter. Like even going home was a different vibe than what it was previously. But I think it's because I've grown and I've healed. Right. So things that would, you know, like it's triggered me before, they didn't trigger me this time.

SPEAKER_02 38:10

That's good. That's growth.

Community, Mentorship, And Accountability

SPEAKER_04 38:12

Yeah. So I was like, but I would not have, I think between my relationship with the Lord and therapy, I wouldn't have been there. I definitely would have been in the same spot. And I would have missing all of beautiful California. So just saying, who knows what you're missing. But uh, next question what role do supportive relationships, community, and mentorship play in in maintaining good mental health?

SPEAKER_02 38:37

We kind of touched base on that.

SPEAKER_04 38:39

It's like they're kind of like that's why I laughed. Yeah. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 38:43

Yeah, and like it doesn't have to be a therapist, it can be like if you're youth, it can be a coach, it can be a youth pastor. Um if you're a parent, it can be another mom. You know, like just having that community that relates to you is so important because like you're not alone, you're not the the only like you person that's young, you're not the only mom that's going through this, you're not the only dad that lost their wife. Yeah, you know, like you have community is so important. I like I kind of to call call myself like an introvert sometimes, but then I'm like when I'm in my community, I'm like, this is so great. Like I love my community, you know. So like it's good. Even if you're like, oh no, I don't like people, be around people. Yeah, that's that's what God made them for, that's why they He put them in your path, you know. Like just be around the people God put your put in your life because I mean they're there for a reason. They are so like even if it's an encouraging hug, they're like, hey, like, so glad you're here today. Yeah, like you know, like community and mentorship is like so so important.

SPEAKER_04 39:48

I agree. I think it's also important to make sure your community is not full of yes men and yes women. Meaning you want the people around you that relate to you, yeah, but don't just say yes or you're right about every single topic. Because you may need to kick them out your village. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_01 40:06

You need some people to keep it real with you. Like if you tell them, like, hey, I want to do this, and they kind of stop you and say, Hey, think about it. You you need that. You need people to hold you accountable when you have the blinds on. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_04 40:20

For sure. It kind of helps you. I feel like that that'd be one of the reasons why you're able to go to another level. Yes. Because they're gonna challenge you.

SPEAKER_02 40:29

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:30

But and relate to you at the same time. So they know your struggles, but they see potential in you and see it in you. So they're gonna pull it, hopefully be one of the reasons that you know, pulls it out. But I kind of when you were saying that you're an introvert, I thought about myself, people think I like am an extrovert. And r for real. I think I'm an introvert.

SPEAKER_02 40:51

Really?

SPEAKER_04 40:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 40:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 40:54

I really don't like being like, it sounds so weird because like I'm out and about. I really don't I like being around people, but I think I've been hurt so much by people. Sometimes I think that maybe my trauma response is maybe it's my introvert. But sometimes I'd be like, I really don't want to be around you. I want to be, I don't know, at the house. But then again, at the house beginning boring. So maybe I'm not an introvert, maybe it's just a trauma response.

SPEAKER_01 41:21

There's a word for like in the middle introvert. I don't know what that word is. But I don't know. No, but I I get that like after like an hour or two.

SPEAKER_04 41:30

Yeah, I'm like, I'm ready to go.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

Right? I'm like, okay, like this was great, but like I need my me tank.

SPEAKER_04 41:35

Yeah, and then also I don't know, I've realized that I thoroughly enjoy being around like teenagers and and like youth more than I do sometimes adults.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

Right, because I mean with adults there's that like internal comparison.

SPEAKER_04 41:50

Is that what it is?

SPEAKER_01 41:51

That's how I see it sometimes. Cause like when I'm around like girls are like within my age and they're already engaged and like on their second kid, I'm like, oh man. Like, okay, like there's that internal comparison for me at least. But whenever like I'm with my kids at work for like like my family kids and stuff like that, like like I love connecting with them.

SPEAKER_05 42:13

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01 42:13

Like I have a younger cousin and I see myself and her sometimes, so I love connecting with her.

SPEAKER_04 42:19

So I never processed that way. It may be that I don't know, but sometimes Jesus' kids be bothering me. It makes me sound so impatient, Laura. I'm so sorry. I love people.

SPEAKER_02 42:31

He puts two introverts in uh in a line of work where he we have to talk about. Right.

SPEAKER_04 42:37

Literally, and then it's funny because we have like the class that I teach on Tuesday nights, we had a young girl, and her answers when I tell you, and I don't know if you ever experienced this with someone that's like she's in middle school right now. She was answering these questions with so like like I don't know. I can I said, you're gonna be in like social work or therapy or something. Right. Like she was like, and what is it, emotionally intelligent, I guess is the writer saying that. And she said, Really? And I said, yeah. I said, your answers are not middle school answers. Like either I don't know if it's because she's been through something is why she can feel and see things in a certain way, or if that's actually like, you know, the calling that God has on that young girl's life.

SPEAKER_01 43:24

Right, and you spelled that into her.

SPEAKER_04 43:25

No, and the the funny the funny thing is you're saying that. So we at the end of it we did cards and it was like, what is one thing that you've learned, you know, at being in this. And she put that I belong in the social service world or something like that. She put and like, and I said, You do. And I definitely probably well, we text and stuff, but I'll keep up with her. When I tell you, I'm just like, What? Did you just say look, girl? Like, I know adults that can't figure that out. Exactly. Yeah, and you can in middle school. That's not normal, right?

SPEAKER_01 43:57

So she was brought up. Really good, or she went through something that made her realize okay, I can speak on this.

SPEAKER_04 44:04

But I think I think it's something she's gone through.

SPEAKER_01 44:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 44:07

And then she made the commentation. She can't be a therapist because she hates to see people do ugly cries.

SPEAKER_03 44:12

No, dude, and I'm an ugly crier too. So like I'm scared if someone ugly cries, I'm gonna just start laughing, but like out of awkwardness. Yeah. Like, I'm not laughing that you cry, like feel your feelings, but like if they're like shaking, I'm just like, okay.

SPEAKER_04 44:26

No, no, she's like, she's like, and like literally, she was like, I can't, I can't do it. And I said, What do you mean? And she was like, if they start ugly crying, I'm out. And I said, Well, you can't leave them. She says, That's why I'm not gonna be a therapist. And I was like, We're gonna have to navigate you through that part. But she got the rest of it, but she said she cannot do them if they do an ugly cry.

SPEAKER_06 44:45

Oh my goodness.

Diagnosis And Medication Without Stigma

SPEAKER_04 44:45

And I'm like, are you judging those people? And she was like, Yeah. I was like, I guess. Okay, let's see here. I'm gonna skip down a couple. What are some common I feel like we kind of already hit on this though? Do you think do you have anything else you want to add about common misconceptions about therapy? Which people understood? I feel like we kind of touched on that though.

SPEAKER_06 45:06

A little bit, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:08

Um I think for sure is you can't afford it.

SPEAKER_01 45:12

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:13

I think that comes up more than that's like that's the main thing that I always hear.

SPEAKER_01 45:17

Yeah, therapy isn't for rich people.

SPEAKER_04 45:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:19

You know, like it can be expensive, yes, but there are thankfully resources where you can afford it, you know. Like there's payment plans or like you can do it every so often. It does have to be a daily thing. Yeah, you know, like, and like some misconceptions, some misconceptions are like, like, oh, like you're defined by your diagnosis.

SPEAKER_04 45:40

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 45:41

Which you're not that's a good one, too. Yeah, like you a lot of times I feel like diagnoses are like crutches a little bit. They help you realize what's kind of going on, and you can get medication or you can get accommodations like at work or like at school or something, you know, like it helps support you in a sense, it doesn't define you, it supports you if anything.

SPEAKER_05 46:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:04

Because you're like, what is happening? What is going on? Like, oh, I have ADHD.

SPEAKER_05 46:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:09

And like you get the medication to help your brain learn how to focus, and like you get more time on tests, or like, oh hey, like I have really bad anxiety, so you get medication to help you, and you know, things like that. So some common misconception is like you are like your diagnosis, which you're not, it helps you if anything.

SPEAKER_04 46:28

Yeah, so I would say medicine is not a bad thing, right? You take Telenor and you got a headache, or whatever you take, you know, if you're on your psychologist, we take ibuprofen or whatever it is, so it's like it's the same thing.

SPEAKER_01 46:41

Yeah, it's the exact same thing. Like you go to the hospital and your arm's broken and they give you medicine there, that's not seen as taboo, but like if you get medication because your chest gets tight in public spaces, like they're like, Oh, you're so weird. Like, no, like it's the exact same thing. Totally the exact same thing. Or like if you need melatonic, I mean it's to sleep, like that's not weird.

SPEAKER_04 47:02

I definitely I take them and they quite I think my I probably am not diagnosed, but I know for sure I feel like I'm definitely ADHD. Fell that I'm a goat, like I my brain is always like we literally had before recording, we probably had like four different topics we talked about and then we talked about like just on nails for a second, and I'm like, it's it's it just happened. So I think for me, melatonin does allow me to like slow down and be able to calm my brain. Because sometimes when I lay down, my brain is thinking of what I didn't do, what I should be doing, what's next, what's tomorrow, how do I help our youth? Right, what do I need for my husband? What is my house? Like, all of those things sometimes go through my brain. So I think with melatonin, it just kind of mutes all that out and allows me to go to sleep. And then the brand that I take doesn't leave me drowsy in the morning. So I will give them a shout-out, but no thanks. Yeah, actually, it may help somebody. I take, what did we take, Lord? We take it's Lemmy, it's Courtney Kardashian's brand.

SPEAKER_01 48:07

Oh, okay, yeah. I remember you're talking about like the purple bottle.

SPEAKER_04 48:10

Yes, we get them from Amazon actually. We used to get them from Target, but we now get them from Amazon. They're like, I think like$30 a bottle. Okay. It's not a terrible price. It's well spent, but it's not terrible. But it works. Right. And it works for him and I. So we just keep them in the room, and as needed, we take it.

SPEAKER_06 48:28

So nice.

Encouragement For Anyone Struggling

SPEAKER_04 48:29

Yeah. I think the big one for sure there is medicine. It's not a bad thing at all. At all. Okay. But anyway, let's see where we're at. Mmm. This is a good one to end with. Okay. For someone listening who might be struggling right now, what's the message of encouragement you want them to hear?

SPEAKER_01 48:56

If you are listening and you've been struggling with like depression or anxiety or just confused about a bunch of things, like it does get better, you know, like yes, your circumstances may be going against you right now and you feel like you're kind of like up against the wall, and it can be kind of overwhelming. But I mean, if you do have a relationship with God, I do recommend to turn to Him if you aren't ready to turn to therapy just yet. Or if you have someone you can trust, do turn to them. Because doing it alone it hurts and it's hard. And sometimes we're not the best therapist for ourselves, you know. Like we need someone to tell us because if we try to tell ourselves, you know, like what am I trying to say? If we try to tell ourselves, like, oh yeah, girl, you got it, but like it's hard to convince yourself that you're trying to motivate yourself, if that makes sense. It does. Yeah. Or like you need sometimes. I need like my like my parents are like my boyfriend. I'm like, hey, can you just tell me you're proud of me? I need to, I need to hear it. And like something as simple as that, and it helps. You know, like like mental health is okay. You're not weird if you realize you need help, like it's normal. Like, you don't have to make it a thing if you don't want to make it a thing, but always ask for help no matter what it is. Even if you're nervous about going to a doctor's appointment, have someone go with you, or like, you know, always try to find community in a sense too. So I agree. I agree.

SPEAKER_04 50:52

And I would just say God sees you right where you are.

SPEAKER_01 50:56

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 50:58

He sees the good days, he sees the bad days, he sees the people that are choosing to maybe make things a little bit harder for you or to you know pick on you. He sees them too. And don't worry about them because the vengeance is his and he'll handle them. But I would just encourage you to keep being you, take time to love on yourself, and like she said, don't be afraid to ask for help. And I've listed resources, and for some reason you can't find them, reach out. You're not alone. You're not the only one feeling the way you're feeling, you're not the only one navigating the spaces you're navigating. Someone either around you is either already gone through it or going through it. So just keep that in mind as well. Is there anything else about mental health that we didn't touch on that you feel like is important?

SPEAKER_01 51:59

Maybe like some good things that can happen if you do go to therapy and stuff like that, like some changes that maybe you've seen in people.

SPEAKER_04 52:10

I know I can just speak for myself. I just feel like it's I don't know, you walk around with like like joy, which I feel like joy is different from happiness. Joy is no matter what happens, a like I don't know, you just walk around with a little pepping yourself because it's like I got coping skills for this. Oh, you know, like and I'm gonna pray about it. Between my my coping skills and me praying, we gonna be alright. No matter what it is, to be honest with you. In the good times, you know, it's it's your joy is a little maybe a little bit higher, and on the bad times it may take a little bit of a hit. But um, I think joy, and you're just able to experience previous situations that may have triggered you. You're just I guess able to experience more.

SPEAKER_02 52:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 52:56

Because you can walk into like for me, my issue. I think, and sometimes it comes up, but I just know how to deal with it. Social anxiety. Like, too many people for me, I'm tapped out, I'm ready to go. Like, it's it's too much happening for me. My eyes are going, my neck is moving, trying to keep up with everybody in the room, that just doesn't work.

SPEAKER_06 53:14

Right.

SPEAKER_04 53:15

But I've learned to like either prepare myself before going in. So a lot of times that's calm environments at home before, like while getting dressed to go to a busy, like you know, an event. So kind of how balance that out, or I know like to step out and then go back in.

SPEAKER_02 53:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 53:34

Or just tell myself, hey, breathe. Breathe. You don't have to talk to all these people. Right. You're just here for an event, speak to who you want to speak to, or you know, who you feel comfortable with. That's one for sure. I don't have to think what else. I don't know anything else. What about you?

SPEAKER_01 53:50

I've noticed I'm starting to like talk to a lot more people. Usually, like I keep to like my family and like the two people I know, like at church. But I've noticed I'm starting to like greet like random people, like, hey, like, we're glad you're here, you know, like stuff like that. So I've noticed I've like I'm like able to do that because before I'm like, no, don't talk to nobody, like, you know, like you're getting out kind of thing, you know. And like I'm able to talk about like past situations and past relationships without like cringing, or I'm able to do it without like the lump in my throat, you know. Like ever since I found out about my test results, this was the first time I was able to talk about it without crying my eyes out. Okay. Yeah. But that's a growth, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:31

So much growth.

SPEAKER_01 54:33

Yeah, so I'm able to realize that like like how you're saying, like, I'm able to face it without like freaking out about it, for lack of better words, you know. So yeah, I've noticed that a lot in me.

SPEAKER_04 54:47

So which have you noticed? Because I'm I was thinking about it, like we were talking, I was like being able to to now like do these things and have these experiences and navigate things, it actually does make you happier and you're more of yourself. Meaning, like for instance, where before I may not want to go to an event because there's too many people, but me actually going to the event and I get past the fact that there's too many people, I realize I actually like this event.

SPEAKER_06 55:17

Right.

SPEAKER_04 55:17

And I actually like learn something from it. So it's like once you actually get old, I don't say get over, but push through or make it through whatever the situation is, on the other side, there's something there. There is something there, and you learn more about yourself, you realize, hey, I actually like this, right? Or I've learned from it, or hey, you know, it could also be the fact that you may not like it.

SPEAKER_01 55:42

Exactly. And that is okay too. Yes, you're learning about yourself, yeah. Learn about yourself whenever you go through therapy. Yeah, because you're like, oh no, like I'm this, this, this, and this way because I was raised that way. Yes. But you like realize, like, oh hey, wait, no, I was just raised that way. I'm not actually that.

SPEAKER_04 55:59

Yeah. But I think that that comes with that unpacking.

SPEAKER_01 56:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 56:02

To have to realize, like, and I mentioned that I think I did a voiceover for some pictures from California. And I realized with being around my mom for those last couple of days in California, the reason I do a lot of stuff is because that's how I was taught. And some of it is not bad things. I just didn't. I was like, why do I feel like this has to be done like this? And why am I so adamant on it? Then I went home and I realized, oh, you know, I spent 17, 18 years being taught this is how things need to be done. And that is why. Yeah. And then it takes gives you a chance to actually adjust and realize, okay, so do I want to continue this or do I not? I realized for us, like Christmas and holidays, don't get me wrong, they're a big deal. Right. But you know, they we pick and choose how, where, and if we even really want to make, you know, like Christmas with the whole Christmas tree and all that.

SPEAKER_06 56:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 56:53

Like last year, no. This past year, we did not put up a Christmas tree or any of that. But we were what did we do for Christmas? Where are we at? I don't even remember Christmas, to be honest with you. But I know we didn't follow the traditional route. Because we've chose that tradition to us is based on what we want. And we kind of go by what makes his first at that time. Yeah. So if we're traveling, no, we're not putting up a Christmas tree. We ain't gonna be here anyway. Right. Waste of time. I'm not putting it up. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 57:18

Yeah, I know when we we did all of like the coupon and everything, like decorations and everything, and I ended up getting the flu for Christmas. Yeah. And we are big on Christmas, like family together, like all these things, especially with my grandma. You know, like she's getting a little bit older, so we're trying to make as many memories with her.

SPEAKER_05 57:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:36

And everything. So, but I was like, oh man, like I'm sick. And like Christmas Eve is like our big thing. Christmas Day, we keep to like who's in the house and like my brother and like his family and stuff. But like Christmas Eve, it's like cousins, Theas, like the whole the whole shibbing, you know. Like we open presents, you know, all the things, but we're usually host and we weren't able to because I was sick. And then Christmas Day, we just like stay in our pajamas like all day and stuff like that. I felt better Christmas Day, thankfully. Yeah. So it was really interesting to like experience not or not experience Christmas Eve as an adult. And my parents were like, Yeah, we could kind of breathe a little bit, you know, that type of thing. It was like it was weird for everybody, but I guess it was needed in a sense, you know.

SPEAKER_04 58:21

Yeah, those were those moments where I'd be like, okay, Lord, you slow, did you slow us down for a reason that like obviously we didn't you did not want the flu. Sometimes I look at stuff like that when I keep who get sick and I'll be like, okay, Lord, are we trying to slow me down or what? Like, especially in moments like that where you're like, you know, your parents are like, Whew, it was actually, you know, I missed the family, but this actually isn't that bad.

SPEAKER_01 58:42

Right, yeah. It's like it's like not that bad, you know. We didn't plan for it. We didn't plan to be by ourselves, but you know, like it was fine. Yeah, you know, and like like for like New Year's, we went out of town when you're usually when we always host, you know, and they're like, yeah, like it was different, but you know, like we didn't have to host, so yeah, yeah. So like experiencing like new things and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_04 59:06

So it's never a bad thing. No, I think I think that's also something when you start to learn coping skills, it's that being present, being flexible with the boundaries. Yeah. Obviously, like you're just navigating different spaces and you're like, hey, making the and being content.

SPEAKER_02 59:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 59:28

And even, you know, contentment, I think some people think contentment means settling. And to me, those are two different things.

SPEAKER_02 59:37

Right.

Boundaries And Filling Your Cup

SPEAKER_04 59:37

Like you can be, you know, not where you want to be, not at the job you want, and you can just be content and work hard in that job until you know God opens the next door for you. And I think there's something powerful in that.

SPEAKER_01 59:51

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 59:52

And it's not settling. So for those listening, settling and contentment, two different things.

SPEAKER_01 59:56

Yeah, and I'm still learning how to set boundaries because I'm like, no, is that okay with you? Like, type of thing, you know, like I'm checking all the boundaries, but I'm like, I can't do that.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:06

I think my I'm the opposite. I'd say you know, and I mean it. Don't ask me. Right. Um, but I think I'm also, like I said earlier, I've been burnt by a lot of people and like and I've experienced burnout, so I'm just very, like, very my boundaries probably can be knocked down a little bit. But I let them down from time to time.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:25

Yeah, I gotta put them up some up a little more, you know, like because you know, I'd love serving people or like I love helping people, but like that also comes back to bite me sometimes because I care about people so much. I forget about myself or I let them in too much to where they like leave me hurt. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:45

Yeah. I've had to learn, like, think about a teacup on the the saucer, the cup.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:52

So I used to give people what was in the teacup.

unknown 1:00:56

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:56

And I've had to learn that you don't give them what's in the teacup. The teacup is for you. You give them what's on the saucer.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:03

Oh, that's good. Right?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:06

I don't know where I got that from, but somewhere. And ever since then, I'm like, yeah, so that that and you know, obviously equivalents to making sure that you're pouring into yourself and doing things for you. You know, therapy, working out, meal prepping, school, diving deeper into work, whatever it is that fills your teacup. And once you really pour into you, eventually, there's gonna be some that overflows. And that overflow is what you give the people around you.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:32

Exactly. Oh, that's so good.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:34

Especially going into, I've realized like therapy and really serving others and getting so much of their story, and that like you just gotta be able to just you gotta have that overflow. Oh yeah. Because if not, pew.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:50

I don't that'll feel hard, yeah. And I one thing I kind of motivated myself really was for everything was like you can't physically cannot pour from an empty cup, and like spiritually you can't either.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:02

You know, so always gotta fill it. Mm-hmm. And obviously, I think filling the cup, like we can list you a bunch of you know things you can do, but they're always obviously different by person. What fills me doesn't may not fill you, and vice versa.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:18

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:19

So learning, you know, what actually kind of goes back to that self-care we talked about at the beginning, but what works for you. The press on nails may not be your thing. Go to the nail shop and getting people$200. And hopefully your nails is not cricket.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:35

But whatever works for you, do that. And if that's you know, taking yourself on a date or going on a date with your husband or someone, do that. Yeah, part of that is also sitting in it to realize what it is that does fill you.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:46

Oh, yeah. And trying different things. Yeah, trying different things, yeah. Because if you try one thing and you're like, oh, this is a for me and you give up on everything, like that's not it either. Like you gotta be be willing to try different things too.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:59

And then also, I think season different seasons in life, your self-care or pouring into yourself may look different.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:07

Oh, yeah. Yeah, because like when I was little or self-care, quote unquote, was me watching my favorite show with eating my favorite snack. Hey, you know, and like self-care now is like all the lights off. I just have my eyes closed and I'm taking some deep breaths, you know.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:23

So realizing that you know those things outgrow and you may need to make an adjustment. But dang, that was good.

unknown 1:03:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:32

I'm like, I'm gonna have to make a social media post about the cup thing. I always forget that, but that's what I tell myself mentally. And I find myself now, since experiencing burnout, a little bit more self-aware.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:45

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:46

Which has come from obviously from therapy, but to know, like, hey, I'm a little bit tired today.

unknown 1:03:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:52

And I also like, not that I'm like a flaky person, but if I'm not feeling well, or if I'm not feeling well physically or I'm not feeling well emotionally or like mentally, I will tell you I'm not coming somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:03

Right, yeah. And and it's okay to do that. Yeah. You know, like a lot of people say, like, yeah, mental health is yeah, like let's focus on it until it affects the plans you made with that person, or until it affects this or that. So, like you have to, if you're supporting the mental health, you have to support all of it. That includes like say, Hey, I'm not feeling it, like not here today, like I'm gonna have to cancel, you know, and having to to be okay with that.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:31

So because we definitely were thinking about going to go see a certain family member in California, and the thought of that person's name was just not. I was like, I don't have time for the the drama, the extra, or anything in between. So I was like, nah, it's alright. Yeah, and then once we moved past that and went to do something else, it was like I forgot about that person and forgot about that plans, and the whole mood for everyone in the car switched. So it was like, why are we forcing something that's not right? Nah, we all have the same shift change, energy just changed. Yeah. So why are we doing that?

SPEAKER_06 1:05:05

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:05

No, I'm only here for this many days and this many nights. I ain't got time. Which is why I said my sometimes my boundaries will maybe too high. Like, I wasn't even trying to navigate that.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:15

I was like, no, yeah, and like like going back to sitting in it, like, yes, sit in it, feel it, but don't stay stuck there.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:23

Oh, good point. Yeah, that's for sure. Which is why your village comes in handy, your friends come in handy, therapy comes in handy, praying comes in handy, opening up your Bible. I feel like sometimes there's times where obviously this I'm thankful to have a Bible app on my phone, it's very convenient. Do not get me wrong. But I feel like there's some times where I need to actually like fill the pages of my Bible. Oh, yeah, like some the some of those like just harder days or different seasons you're trying to navigate. You may actually have to, you know, get the Bible plan of your Bible, but go open your uh actual like physical Bible and make you know. um different effort there.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:02

For sure. I don't know why, but it always makes a difference for me.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:05

Oh yeah. And like just today at like the women's like Bible study, that one was at I had my Bible open to like a random page and it was words in red, but it was Jesus talking to a widow who or or someone who had just lost her son. I kind of read the passage but like the last words were in red and I said don't cry. And I like took that I was like okay God I see you because I had literally been crying the entire Bible study. And I was just like sitting there like trying to you know take deep breaths out. And I read the passage and literally the last words of the paragraph were in red and said don't cry.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:43

Yeah. So this is just part of your journey. I don't know why. We never know why until the until it's time to put that puzzle piece in play. I feel like then we can kind of figure out why what and who and how and why got you know had that happen. But a lot of times you know we don't know until it's like wait I don't know there's some things that I'll be like oh well this happened like this oh and I'm in the moment now like even with me so we started a nonprofit and I had to lead a board meeting about a month ago and I was like I would have never known how to lead a board meeting if I didn't spend all that time about a year and a half ago sitting in all these different board meetings and I think at one point I was serving on like four different boards. Yeah. So and I got to see it and experience it. So now when it came time for me to lead one you know I had the board members were like oh that was the best board meeting ever. Well I've seen what worked and what didn't work right and you know thanks to God I was ready. Yes yeah and did I did I understand it at the time why I was doing I was like what is happening I'm I'm overwhelmed and but anyway.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:50

But it worked out it did yeah but all things will work out for the good is all right yes it's something like that because I told myself that like all things work out for not for the greener good for something like that.

Find The Right Therapist And Close

SPEAKER_03 1:08:08

One of those for the good this is all things work out for the good now who's I don't know but it's for it's something like hilarious I cannot the cliff elations version there we go there we go okay so is there anything else not that I can think of just you know mental health is great that's why we're in it and you know you're not weird if you need help.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:33

No you're not at all not at all you're not weird. You're also not crazy. Yeah and you're lucky beyond measure that part then also you know taking the courage to ask for help is almost like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel oh something else I do want to touch on if you try therapy and that therapist does not work out for you please just go find another one. Yes because oh so I tried a therapist once and I sat on her couch. Kid you not it's in person this before I got to the one that was on my phone. My lady told me it seemed like you have it all under control and alright so why are you here? What? Ma'am just because I'm able to articulate what I'm feeling does not mean that I have it all together. Exactly yeah and then I did therapy and cried and I was like yeah lady was wrong. So needless to say if you get to therapy and you and your therapist do not buy just find another one yeah you ain't got tell lady nothing or that man whoever you get just don't answer their calls anymore move on to the next one. Cancel your appointment though so you don't get a no show. Yes yeah but yeah it's okay to like find the right one until it fits hop around memorizable that yeah all of it yeah I'm like it's definitely not a one shoe what is it a one shoe fit one mm mm I think we need to end this fits all that that yeah I was like I think that's what it is I'm like you definitely have to find the one that works for you yeah so keep that in mind as well okay anything else no it's been great okay well thank you guys for listening and I went in with this if no one's told you today that you are loved let me be the first one to tell you you're loved you're needed you're wanted you're seen if not by the people around you but for sure by God. And like I said before if you listen to this and you're like hey you know I'm I need some help I might not be the person to help you but I will get you to where you need to be so that way you can grow be sifted and take things to a new level.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:46

Alright peace out bye thank you for listening to another episode of Standing in Your Truth with Yanni. And if no one told you today you are loved you are beautiful you are needed and you matter be sure to follow on Facebook at Standing in Your Truth Podcast with Yanni. Also on Instagram Talks with Yanni