Standing in Your Truth With Yanni
The podcast "Standing in Your Truth" will feature Yanni and a group of friends engaging in profound and intimate discussions on subjects such as mental health, finances, faith, and strategies for finding motivation during difficult periods. In this space, guests will be invited to share their life journeys, including the challenges they've faced and the obstacles they've overcome. This podcast aims to provide a platform for individuals to share their stories, ensuring that everyone's experiences are acknowledged, valued, and celebrated.
Standing in Your Truth With Yanni
Finding Grace in the 48-96 Life
When Savannah Woodward met her firefighter husband nine years ago, she never imagined how deeply his profession would shape their family life. From navigating 48-hour shifts to explaining daddy's absence to their curious 4-year-old son, the challenges of a first responder family require constant adaptation and unwavering faith.
Savannah's journey took an unexpected turn when they relocated to West Texas with their one-year-old son. "I was so against moving here," she admits, fearing the loss of her entire support system. Yet this leap into the unknown transformed their lives completely. "I attribute one of our greatest successes as a family to moving out here," she shares, highlighting how the community's entrepreneurial spirit and accessibility created opportunities they never would have found in their hometown.
Throughout our conversation, Savannah candidly discusses her struggle with postpartum depression, the resentment she initially felt toward her husband's absences, and the evolution of her priorities from career advancement to finding balance. "I'm motivated by making sure I'm not in burnout constantly anymore," she explains, reflecting on her journey toward intentional self-care and setting boundaries between work and home life.
Perhaps most powerful is Savannah's perspective on the values her son gains from being raised in a first responder family. From compassion and selflessness to gratitude and consideration for others, these lessons provide a silver lining to the missed birthdays and rearranged holidays. "He admires Justin so much," she says of her son's relationship with his father, "and Justin is teaching him incredible values he wouldn't have gotten if he wasn't in a first responder family."
For anyone navigating the complexities of parenthood while supporting a partner with demanding responsibilities, Savannah offers a simple yet profound message: "Give grace. We're all just trying to figure it out." Her story reminds us that behind every hero in uniform stands a family making countless sacrifices, finding strength through faith, and building their village wherever life takes them.
Standing In Your Truth Podcast with Yanni Thomas
Hello everyone, welcome to Standing In your Truth podcast with your host, yanni. On this podcast you'll hear Yanni, family and friends having open-ended discussions on anything from faith, finances, relationships and how to stay motivated during life's trying times. Make sure to follow on all social media platforms. The social media link is in the bio. Sit back and get ready to enjoy.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of Standing your Truth Podcast. I am your host, yanni. How's it going? Happy May, I think I said that last episode, but whatever, school's almost out. I know for me, technically, this is my last day of my spring semester. I would be excited, but I'm also taking a May semester in summer courses, so my studies begin, but thankfully I'm past both classes with, hopefully, a high grade. I'm saying that as the grades not final, but I'm speaking into existence. Two A's is what I want, but anyway, we are continuing our series talking about motherhood and the journey that these different women that I invite on have. So I'm going to let my guest introduce herself.
Speaker 3:Hello, I'm Savannah Woodward. Y'all and I have known each other for going on about three years now. It doesn't seem like it, but as I look at colin your wallet like oh yeah, yeah sure it's kind of flown by, but also it was like yesterday too. So I, um am the director of special events at the shepherd leadership institute, which is a department at the university of texas permian basin what y'all's thing you know everybody has like a falcons up, oh there it is falcons up.
Speaker 2:Okay, I almost said guns up.
Speaker 3:That's the wrong thing sorry, texas day, yeah, my bad, all right.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you for coming on. Um, I know your story, so I feel like there's definitely going to be um a group of women that can relate to your journey. But we'll get there. First, let's start with our house questions. Allow all of us to get to know you a little bit better. So what motivates you?
Speaker 3:That's a great question.
Speaker 3:I feel like I'm in kind of a transitional period right now because I could right off the bat tell you, up to this point, I was really motivated by, like, professional development and career development, and so it was. You know, how do I get the degree to get the job and how can I really excel at the job and do all the professional development to get? You know, keep climbing that ladder, and that's really what success was framed like for me. And now, being a mom and you know all the things I'm really happy with where I'm at in my career, but that ideology and you know, train of thought is really shifting. So really what motivates me now is making sure that I'm taking care of myself, I'm not in burnout constantly anymore, that I have a good work-life balance now and that I can prioritize things that I care about so that I can be the best for my husband but also for my son Wow, it's so funny, as you're saying that, about you know staying away from burnout and making sure that you're the best for everyone around you.
Speaker 2:We had a conversation about two weeks ago maybe how we've both kind of taken a step back and are more selfish with our time. And just I just say selfish, maybe just more intentional. Well, leaning into it, right.
Speaker 3:And being OK with it. I think before it was like if I wasn't going going, going and had every second of my day booked, it was like, oh, you're just being lazy, like that's wasted time, and reframing the thought behind it and thinking, no, this is not wasted time, this is needed time and it's okay to take a step back because that's actually helping me more than it's hurting.
Speaker 2:I've had to realize naps are okay. Uh, love a nap. Yeah, about 30, 45 minutes, and I'm good to go. Anything more than that, I'm probably waking up with, like what day is it? Did I miss something? Yeah, um. But so how do you protect your mental health?
Speaker 3:I think you know motivation, the what we said really lends itself well to that also kind of overlaps. I have really had to learn and identify what actually fills me, and I I heard these wise words from someone that I work with last year and it's stuck with me. I work with last year and it's stuck with me. There's a difference between something that fills you and something that you enjoy. So things that you enjoy can also fill you, but there are things that you enjoy that don't fill you.
Speaker 3:So those people who go on vacation and need a vacation from the vacation afterward, that's not actually filling, even if it is enjoyable. So for me word that's not actually filling, even if it is enjoyable. So for me it's. What do I need to do to really be able to separate and, to you know, fill myself and protect my peace? Um, even sometimes if I'm like, oh, I don't need to do this, I need, I don't want to go home and just be lazy, or I don't want to go home and make sure the house is clean, sometimes those are things that I still have to do, even if I don't enjoy them, to protect my peace and take care of myself, to set myself up for success yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 2:So, with that being said, what is your self-care routine?
Speaker 3:I am a work in progress with that. I definitely have gotten better this whole last year. I feel like it's been a year of reflection and self growth, and so I'm leaning into a lot of these things more so now. But for me, I really have. I've gotten way better about leaving work, at work, and when I come home, I'm a wife and a mom and I'm no longer employed by anyone yeah, I am employed by my house and I do what I want to do, um, and so I get in the the right frame of mind and you know, if I need to just veg out one night and I come home and I don't want to cook dinner, I don't have to cook dinner. And if I want to, you know, do something spontaneous with cole, my son, um, and my husband, then we just do it. And I feel better about it now because I'm making that separation.
Speaker 2:Yeah it does. I feel like that plays a part for self-care, but even mental health, like you have to have that break. If not, that that's where that burnout does come from.
Speaker 3:And I feel like we both can.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we understand all about burnout For sure, unfortunately. So with all this self-growth, that has happened. What advice would you give younger self?
Speaker 3:Do it all, just do it all, do it all. Anything that you can, I think, be comfortable, get comfortable quick with being uncomfortable really I spent.
Speaker 3:Let's see, I'm 28 now. I spent up until I moved to odessa, so maybe 25 stuck in the same place, really stuck, but in the same place that I grew up. Love my hometown. It is great, it's just like everybody's hometown. Everybody knows each other. You know everybody wants to leave as soon as they graduate, the whole kit and caboodle.
Speaker 3:But I didn't realize or I took for granted everything that I could have seized, all the opportunities that I could have seized there, and I didn't realize there are so many things that are accessible to me, or there's a way that you can figure it out, or there's all these opportunities, things that you can do and take advantage of. Until now and now I have a little bit more obstacles, um, in the way, not really obstacles, but it's a little more difficult to plan around child care now, or, you know, being a wife, and finances and work schedule, all the things. So, you know, I just think back during college, being a traditional college student, and you know, go study abroad, see if there's a scholarship or a grant or something that'll pay for it. If finances are, you know not where you think it's, it's out of your reach, right, um, go, go do the traveling. Go, do all the things or take the class or whatever. Just do what you want to do. Take a year off and, I don't know, teach yourself how to cook, whatever. Just do a lot of things.
Speaker 3:Yeah, be uncomfortable. Just walk in the rooms. Go to um, an organization that you think sounds cool, might be interesting. You don't know anybody in the room. That's okay, because if you keep showing up, it's gonna get comfortable eventually. You're not going to be comfortable right off the bat. You're not going to know everyone right off the bat, but the more you go and do things, the more you'll get comfortable with being uncomfortable, the better it's going to serve you. You're going to become more resourceful. You're going to learn new people. You're going to make amazing connections connections you never know what's gonna happen, but you have to position yourself for success and advantages and you have to do that with being uncomfortable first we can just stop right there.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying I don't know about anybody else, but I was listening and I was like, okay, lord, I hear you, because I feel like for me was stepping out with like life. For, say, I told Erin the other day I said this is overwhelming, because there's so many things that come with life coaching, as far as setting up the business side and the paperwork and all that that I'm like dude, I have no clue and it's the uncomfortable that then challenges me and that's where I grow and that's what this business is gonna, you know, blossom from.
Speaker 2:is me being uncomfortable and saying, hey, I need some help, or hey, I don't know, or spending the times good old, my good old friend youtube, yeah, and watching videos until I get it.
Speaker 3:But and you're so good about. You have really built a network for yourself and made connections where you can find resources or plug into people who know resources, and so that is, I think, just so immensely valuable.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's one of those gods in the details, when I didn't even realize that. Yes, I had no idea what I was doing when I first started in Odessa. But I just said you know what we're gonna go and I'm gonna be trying my best to be kind and smile and show up like you said. And here we are. So what is one moment in your life that has really shaped you or made a huge impact in your life?
Speaker 3:I know you were expecting me to say motherhood. I was. I'm not gonna lie to you, it was not mother, definitely was I. And I will say I. My son is four. I did not feel like I had the hang of motherhood. I still don't feel like I would. Every day I'm like what is this new challenge going on? Who, how come? Nobody told me about this? Yes, so it definitely was not motherhood. I am still learning that is new every single day, but I feel like I'm leaning into it better. I would say the thing that really has shaped my life up to now was my husband and I deciding, when our son was about one, to move to West Texas. So we're originally from East Texas, both born and raised there. Um, all of our families there or has since moved away from there. But, um, on a whim, after COVID, my husband heard that Reeves County. So in the Pecos, area, not even Odessa.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not even Odessa.
Speaker 3:I mean, we had no idea where this place was. We were looking up on the map over dinner one night. I was like now, what are you talking about? But they had decided in past that they were going to move from a volunteer fire department to a paid emergency service district for the county, which is fabulous. They cover so many, many square miles of the area and are much needed. Um, but my husband decided, okay, well, we're gonna pick up and leave everything that we know to go do this.
Speaker 3:And I was not the same person that I was then versus now. I was not comfortable with being uncomfortable at all. I was not involved in anything, not one thing. I graduated high school, I went and did my undergrad and then I stayed home and hung out with my husband and that was what we did. I had maybe one really really good friend we would hang out, and that was about it. Did I had maybe one really really good friend we would hang out, and that was about it. I didn't do anything else and that was the norm. Like I just wasn't even looking for opportunities. It didn't even phase me that that was a possibility or an option and I was just, you know, moving along like what's the next thing thing. So we found out that we were pregnant with our son during a summer.
Speaker 3:My husband relocates to west texas, um, about november, and then I'm kind of single mom in it, in east texas still, until we sell our house and move out to West Texas in March. Um, and that was the. I didn't know it then yet, but that was the best decision we ever made for our family. We both, to this day say we are absolutely glad, um and I went. I would even I would say out of all the places that we could have moved, because it was actually between here and San Antonio and I was so against moving here. Yes, I was like where are you trying to take me? I need to be close to a target, sir, and I had just never been out this way. But you know, everybody goes to San Antonio and so I was a little familiar with that. I was thinking you know what are my job opportunities going to look like?
Speaker 2:I think I'd have better opportunities in san antonio than I would in west texas, um, which I feel like may or may not be true, right, because with us being such a small community and always I feel like in need of oh yeah, um, I would say, pretty high positions in places yes, I don't I wonder what that would have looked like if you would have chose the other one.
Speaker 3:I don't I do not think I would be anywhere near as satisfied or in the position that I am in now. Yeah, I really attribute, you know, one of our greatest successes as a family, as couple, as individuals, to moving out here. I, it is the people, it is the atmosphere, it's the grit, it is just the entrepreneurial spirit in West Texas. It's just such a melting pot of so much activity and diversity and different backgrounds and people here and I. We fell in love with it as soon as we moved here. So my husband obviously commutes because I needed to be a little bit closer to a quote-unquote city. So we live in odessa. It's a quote-unquote. Yes, I'm gonna move, but I'm gonna put my foot down that we're living in odessa, um, and so he commutes. He does shift work to pe Pegas. He works 48 on 96 off and we loved it.
Speaker 3:I did not work immediately when I got here. I stayed home and was a stay-at-home mom. I very quickly found out that was not for me at all and I do not regret going back to the workforce, yeah, and so now we're here and we tell anybody who asks like, first of all, so thankful to be here, this is our home. Now Anybody ask me where my home is. I only feel at home in Midland-Odessa area. Yeah, love being here, love the people, and there are a thousand percent more opportunities here that are more easily accessible than the town that I was born and raised and lived 25 years of my life in.
Speaker 3:Oh wow, yes, I mean to the point that when I moved here and you know, you see Brooks Landgraf, who shows up at just coffee events and different local events that are going on and really supports the community that he represents, that was not even a thing I thought happened. I was like you're in politics, you're a celebrity. Like you are not accessible to me, you will never know who I am, and that is just a common theme and something that happens so often here.
Speaker 3:if you're just uncomfortable for a little bit, show up to the event, because most of them are free yeah I mean you have, these things are accessible to you and I mean that's just been a game changer for us moving here. It's been incredible.
Speaker 2:It's funny you said that about books because, um, for school they offered an opportunity for us to go and sit and chat with the mayor. And I was telling my mom about she said you're doing what? And I was like I'm gonna go um, sit and chat with the mayor for an hour and he's gonna talk about, you know, the city and upcoming things and issues and all that stuff. And she was like really the mayor? And I'm like, yeah, and it might have been maybe 20 students in that class, if even not and very.
Speaker 3:That is amazing. That's such a great thing. I couldn't even tell you who the mayor was the 25 years I lived in east texas until after I moved um, so I just really appreciate that. I think that's special it is.
Speaker 2:I think that's the part of the value what comes with um. I said I want to say small city, but I mean I guess we're small but we're not tiny, yeah, so don't get it, don't I guess?
Speaker 3:we're small, but we're not tiny.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so don't get it, don't get confused. Okay, we may be small, but we're not tiny, yeah, okay. Well, let's get into the meat of it all, yeah, so I guess, enlighten us on what motherhood, your motherhood journey, what it's been. I don't know if you want to start from the beginning, um, you want to tell it in the story what's ever is best for you? Um, but tell me, what is it like being cole's mom?
Speaker 3:oh, I love being some days. I think really hard about it and I'm like oh man, where?
Speaker 1:what are we doing?
Speaker 3:today, yeah, and other days I'm like this is the best job ever. He just cracks me up. You know he's four, so he really has a personality now. And well, I guess starting from the beginning. So we found out we were pregnant with Cole and we'll start back even before then.
Speaker 3:I met my husband nine years ago this year and it was, I mean, we just knew, we clicked, got along and we never separated after that and we shortly got engaged. We were engaged for like two years. None of us could get it together and plan a wedding. That is a lot. I plan events for my life, do that in my nine to five now, and even a wedding for me was like I don't have the time for this, yeah, so we put it off and then we finally got married. We had Cole.
Speaker 3:Um, well, when I had met Justin, like right before I met him, I remember having a conversation with my mom and I was like look, don't expect me to get married. Um, I'm I do not care about that right now, could care less. I'm professionally driven. I want to have a really, really cool career. There's so many things that I could do and I don't want to hold myself back from that caveat to that is I also don't really care about having kids. I would not say that I had the best childhood growing up. It was not bad. Obviously, tons of people had it way worse than I did, but I wouldn't just say it was the best.
Speaker 3:So I was like I, I don't feel like I have the maternal instincts, the knowledge or any experience to go back on to really be a good mom and what a kid deserves. Yeah, and, mind you, I was having this conversation when I was 19 years old with my mom. So there I was, like I know everything right, right, had no idea what was in store. So me and my husband we are together for about four or five years have our son. How old were you when you got pregnant? I guess I was 28 now and he's I would have had been like 24?.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Something up in there 23?
Speaker 3:23, and then celebrated my 24th birthday after he was born. Okay, still so young. I just remember finding out I was pregnant. I worked at the hospital during that time in labor and delivery, um, and I was like you know, I know all the things and I'm of age, but I feel like I should not be trusted, like I'm not old enough to have a kid. Right now I don't know what to do. Yeah, they're going to send this kid home with me and I'm just supposed to know how to be a mom. Yeah, there ain't no way. Thank goodness, I will say my husband is the best husband ever. He is on, he is so supportive, he meets me 100% every day, even when I can only give 10. And I cannot say I don't brag on him enough, because it really is a team sport. Yeah, and he we'll get into later, later, but he's not there all the time, but when he is, he is given his full effort. Yeah, and I could not have picked a better father for my child.
Speaker 3:oh, that's, that's okay oh yeah, I picked a good one. He's taking ladies, but he's a good one move along yes, yes.
Speaker 3:So you know, we had a great pregnancy. We delivered him. We delivered him. He was only four pounds, less than a five-pound dumbbell. I just remember this little thing is so fragile, oh my gosh. And I struggled so hard the whole first year of Cole being born and I hate it so much. I regret it because I will never get that time back with him. So I struggled so incredibly bad with postpartum depression. That's what I was going to ask, if that's what it was.
Speaker 3:Yes, I mean it was. It was awful and I knew about it because I was already working at the hospital and there there's a lot of conversation and education on it. So I was seeking all the resources and doing what I needed to, but I just felt like I wasn't leaning into it. I didn't feel like I, like I had this little human come out of me but I didn't feel connected to him. I didn't immediately cry when I delivered him and so for the longest time I'm like what is wrong with like something is wrong with me that I am not just completely infatuated. And now, looking back hindsight, like I understand and have done all the therapy and all the resources and everything and know like sometimes that just happens and that's okay, that doesn't make you a bad mom. Sometimes you're struggling a little bit, yeah, um. And so for me, as we've gone from like newborn age to now, the newborn age was kind of good. We had the whole year.
Speaker 3:Justin was working um in South Texas before we moved to West Texas and he was doing hitch work, so he'd be well. He was supposed to be gone for like two weeks at a time and then home for four, and that never happened. I mean he got called, he was on paternity leave and got called to come back early, so he did not even get to spend a bunch of time with us at that point. Um, I brought, we brought Cole home from the hospital in January his birthday's in late January and my husband stayed a couple of days and then had to leave to go down South and then a snow storm hit and we got snowed into our house. So I'm like pulling a mattress in the floor in front of the fireplace in case, like electricity and stuff gets knocked out so we can stay warm and I'm worrying about the the pipes getting frozen up and we don't have water. I can't even back my car out of the driveway to go to the store or anything. And even if I could probably be too scared because my kid's too small like just worse situation, yeah, than I could have imagined. So I mean it really was not that bad, but as a new mom you're just freaking out about everything. So that was not great.
Speaker 3:I struggled a lot with my husband because I built up a lot of resentment because he wasn't there a lot during that first year and I was not the best version of myself. Um, I wasn't. I was physically showing up and doing everything that I needed to for my child, but I was not where I needed to be for myself. Um, and I took a lot of that out on my husband and I hate that. He did not deserve it. We were both learning and he knew, like he didn't know what he was doing either. He's learning just like I am. Yeah, and you know all the pressure that's put on a man, especially in the position that we were in, for him to go win the money and bring home the bread and all the things. He's the provider. Yes, so that first year was rough, fast forward. We're coming up on one year and we moved to west texas and I am oh my gosh, I'm having to leave my mom, my whole village yeah is there.
Speaker 3:I don't know anyone else anywhere else. We don't know anyone when we're moving to west texas, um. And so I just have to trust my husband's like. This is going to be a good decision for us and I really want you to believe in me and we have to be a united front on this decision. You know we're going to have to work through it. Maybe it'll be a really good thing. And if you don't like it, in a year we'll move back. And in my head I'm like you are not going to move me back. You are not going to move me back. You are not gonna move me back, you're just gonna get me out here and I'm stuck. Yeah, that's what's happening, but I mean acclimating. It was. It was the best decision that we ever made. So we're so extremely happy that we're raising our son here with the community that's here, and you know we've built our, our village. I'm trying. I'm like I'm trying to figure out how old, I think I don't feel that cold.
Speaker 2:He's four now, so he had to be like two, I think he, we moved.
Speaker 3:He celebrated his first birthday in january, we moved here in march and then we celebrated his second year. Yeah, we took him on a trip, his second year after we moved here okay, I'm like, I'm trying.
Speaker 2:I'm like wait, I'm trying to, I'm like wait, when did that too? Okay, so you're talking about, um, justin being away. Can we touch on why he was away, um, and how that affected, I guess, you as a mom?
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I mean well, in the whole first year. Well, so he's a fireman. He has known since he came out the womb. He wanted to be a fireman. He's a fourth or a fifth generation, I think he's a fourth generation. So that is what his family does. He loves it, it's his hobby, it's his lifestyle, it's everything for him. Great.
Speaker 3:But that means part of the line of work is you have shift work and sometimes you go out of town for trainings and things and you know you don't get to pick the schedule. It is just a rotating schedule. It never ends. So sometimes you miss birthdays and you miss Christmas and anniversaries and that was something that was hard for me even before we had Cole to adjust to.
Speaker 3:I did not know anyone in that kind of line of work before I met my husband and so I was talking to all these girlfriends and wives and I'm like, what do you mean? He's going to be gone all the time. That's not going to work for me, yeah. And then you know you just have to ride it out and you figure out how to work around it. They do a lot of holidays and things at the department that you go up there for and celebrate and then you plan around the shifts. But yeah, so having a child now in that environment is extremely difficult at times, because cole does not understand a 48-96 schedule. I mean when you say it like that.
Speaker 2:I don't either.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, that is hard for him to understand. He wants his dad. When he wants his dad, yes, so he'll wake up and he's like, okay, are you going to work today, are you staying home with me today? Like what's the plan? So we have to intentionally prep him. Like, okay, dad's going to work, he's going to get to work for two days.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we have a lot of facetime calls. We call and say good night when we can, um, and you know, sometimes we like going up to the station. It's a little bit more of a drive here than when we were in east texas, but going up there when we can and seeing him so he can actually see what dad's doing. And you know, just talking to him, dad helps people and that means that he has to go, be available to help people and all the dads take turns. So the other dads that are working want to go see their kids and now it's your dad's turn.
Speaker 3:So it's been a little more difficult this year because justin also is very ambitious and wants to excel in his career and so he has done a lot of trainings this year to get a certain certification he wants to deploy with the state. Yeah, is what we're building towards. So he'll be gone for a week, sometimes 10 days um out of town to do a training and that has been incredibly difficult on Cole and by proxy me because, essentially during that time I'm acting as a single mom.
Speaker 3:Um, there's not a lot he can do from San Antonio or some other place college station, um, and so it's really just me and Cole riding it out and having to adjust schedules to that.
Speaker 2:Like what is your. How do you navigate that though?
Speaker 3:Well, again, very thankful for my husband. We live by calendar and so there's a lot of communication back and forth. He doesn't just say, okay, I'm going to be out of town this week. We do a lot of communication about is there anything going on this week? If it's a voluntary training or something, hey, I'm going to put in for this, I want to do this training, or I want to sign up for this out of town. Is there anything that I need to be here for? Are you going to be okay? How can we make arrangements and set up for me to be able to do this?
Speaker 3:So there's a lot of working together, communication, a lot of communication and a lot of communication with Cole. You know he just explaining to him like, like, this is what dad's going to do. I think, on one hand, it's good for him to see that both of his parents have a really good work ethic, um. But you know we're looking at it as the the trainings that justin's trying to get through over this past year will get him this certification where he's going to deploy.
Speaker 3:And so he's not going to have to leave as often in the future if he gets it all done now. Oh, controversial, because I think a lot of people are like, oh, but you're missing out on all the young, you know milestones and things. But I mean, he could very well be missing out on milestones when he's older too. So I think it's just kind of you gotta bite the bullet now, yeah, and then the. The big obstacle that we're prepping for now is once he finally starts deploying with the state.
Speaker 3:You know there are a lot of benefits for us as a family with that, but one of the biggest drawbacks is he'll be gone anywhere from 14 to 20 something days at a time. Um may not have self-service, you know, if california has wildfires and then go deploy, or if he's just back in east texas for some um, wildland fires or something. It just kind of depends where they send them. But you never really know what the circumstances are going to be and that's going to be really tough on Cole and me having to adjust my schedule and step in and manage everything while Justin's gone and I don't have that extra support.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Um. So how has your faith played a part in this?
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I do more praying nowadays than I think I have ever done and really I have tried to really center in my first.
Speaker 3:My first reaction is to mull it over and really spend time in prayer and looking for discernment and reflection, before you know making large decisions before freaking out on justin when you know I forgot to put that he's going out of town for a week on the calendar and then I have work things and I'm like I can't get out of my obligations too, like neither one of our jobs are more important than the other.
Speaker 3:Um, and so how do we manage that? Just a lot of prayer, coming together, praying together and saying this is how we need to lead our family. This is what we're called to do. This is going to be the best decision for us, best decision for Cole, our son, and you know, really staying rooted in that faith. I think that's grown us incredibly, especially since we moved to West Texas, because we really were not leading in our faith before we moved here, and now it really is a pillar. I just am amazed because I see Justin really openly talking to Cole about faith and who God is, and you know what our beliefs are as a family and it is just so encouraging. That's so sweet.
Speaker 2:I'm like, oh okay, I'm just all in center and just say, oh, that doesn't get us anywhere in this thing, yeah, but earlier you talked about a village. How important is a village and what does your village look like? Because you, I do feel, feel like I don't want to say, lucked up, but you have what?
Speaker 3:yeah, you have a pretty solid village there so all of my family is still in East Texas. We're actually about to go this next week to go see them. We definitely don't see them often enough. Um, and while we lived in east texas when I first had my son, I was like, oh, we got it. Like, I have my mom, I'm a grandmother, I have two um brothers that would be incredible babysitters. Um, I have my little sister who is going to grow up with cole and all of the things. I have best friends. We have really good friend couples who, you know, are eventually going to have kids too. They're going to be around close age and all of those dynamics. But then we moved. Um, and that is one of the biggest scares that I had when we moved is I'm not going to know anyone and really why it didn't work when we got here, because what am I going to?
Speaker 3:do Like I don't know any of these daycares. I don't. I don't even know, really, like, what the town's gonna be like, because I didn't spend any time here before we just moved um, so I don't know any daycares. I don't know where I'm comfortable having him placed. Do I want someone else kind of raising them for me, or do I want to do that myself? And you know, there's all these questions that we were asking and we went through a lot of daycares. Yeah, I remember being on the oh you were there for the struggle.
Speaker 3:Lots of tears, lots of hard days, big adjustments for Cole, and he was just going through phases. You know kids go through a binding phase and you know they figure out how to work with other kids, especially being an only child. So it just got to the point where daycare was not an option for us, and so I thankfully have a very flexible job that has tons of other working mothers and they completely understand the situation, and so for a while it was good for me to be able to pick up the slack, because obviously Justin doesn't have a job where I mean that's patient abandonment. He can't just leave and come home. Yeah, I'm like I'm a charge. Is that how I charge? Yeah, yeah, he can't be doing that. So by default I have to be the one who has to give the slack and pick him up if he has to leave early one day or whatever. If I have to stay home with him he's sick, any of the things, doctor's appointments, the whole nine yards.
Speaker 3:So we quickly figured out daycare was not going to be an option. He wasn't old enough just yet to go to kindergarten or to any of the pre-k programs that were going to work with. You know our schedule, um, and so we convinced. Well, my brother moved out here to work with justin's. They work at the same fire department. They are on different shifts, which is just chef's kiss.
Speaker 3:Amazing, because that means I always have at least one of them that's home, unless you know, they pick up some overtime on the same shift or whatever, but I always have at least one of them that I can call like oh man, my, my tire, I need somebody to come change. I mean that happens. So, yes, or hey, I have this. Can you help me with X, y, z? So my brother who moved out here he works with Justin, but he also brought his girlfriend who has a background in child care. She is the best, shelby Steele. If you need a babysitter, if you need a nanny, she, I would 100 recommend her. She is the best.
Speaker 3:We went from cole not knowing abcs one, two, threes, like hardly anything. He can write his name. Now he knows his alphabet, he can count to like 30. I mean, he comes home and talks about animals. I'm like, how do you even know what this is like? I've never heard you talk about that. So he, she has been such a blessing. We're so thankful to have her in our village. Yeah, and then you know we have just culminated all of these friends and since a community, since we've been here, you are such a huge part of that and cole knows he's like I want to. I want to talk to miss yanni miss yanni's gonna be there.
Speaker 3:I want to go um, yes, even um monica and aaron that I work with in my office. You know he'll come up here. Just don't bring him up during the day. And they know him. And you know just so many people that I know. In a pinch, if I really needed to call on them, they would be there. Just give me a car seat?
Speaker 2:yes, definitely don't have a car seat. Yes, if you tell me what that is, we can make it right, we can figure it out.
Speaker 3:Yes, but there are so many people that I would now trust. With cole, yeah, they're a part of the village. I want him to know them, I want him to have a relationship with them and, you know, I want him to be a part of his life yeah, I think that's really cool.
Speaker 2:I had my aunt on last week and she was talking about the same thing, how, um, having a village, it just plays a huge role, and I mentioned then I was like, yeah, villages are, are great, I mean needed for sure for kids. But I'll be honest, I, I have my village and you know, I personally I'm like, yeah, I think, whether you have a kid, um, or I guess, maybe a village for the kid and a village for you personally yes, yeah, makes a difference.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, because I mean, we have bad days, down days, good days in between days.
Speaker 3:Right, well, and even me just being able to call you and like soundboard like, oh my gosh, you're not going to believe this. Yeah. I mean, and just how good I feel after being able to tell someone who's not involved in the situation and say this happened. This is how I feel about it. Okay, now let me go fix it. I just needed you to listen to me for like a second. Yeah, I mean, and that's so powerful.
Speaker 2:I think one of the sweetest moments that I would never forget in my friendship is you were having a bad day. A lot of those, no, but you were having a bad day. I don't know if you were already at the chamber. I don't know why I'm getting ready to cry. I don't know if you're already at the chamber, but you came by and I said you know what, don't worry about it, let's just pray.
Speaker 2:Yes, I remember that day and well, I don't think you listen to my podcast anyway, but I definitely disappeared from the chamber for 2.5 seconds and went down and prayed and I was like, I was like, okay, I was like I hope that I was like lord you know, I hope you hear my prayers and I can hear that for her. But I don't remember what the situation was.
Speaker 3:But I don't either. I don't remember, but no, I just remember that moment.
Speaker 2:I think that's one that I will um definitely, oh, besides um church, oh, that too, yeah, that too I'm a crier, I guess anybody.
Speaker 3:I guess there's a couple.
Speaker 2:And then also when aaron and I got married and cole came down by himself to give me a hug. Um, it's actually, we have a digital camera, a digital, not camera like photo album. Yeah and that's one of the ones that loop through is, uh, me and him.
Speaker 2:So so yeah, wow, yeah well you know I told you before we recorded that I was gonna ask you to give words of encouragement and I said it can be about anything switching it up on you, keeping you on your feet. You know, I actually want you to give encouragement to, um, a mother or a woman, because I mean, technically they don't have any moms. Um, that's listening, that is a spouse, a girlfriend, a mother, a grandma.
Speaker 3:To a first responder let me tell you it's rough and it doesn't get easier. I mean, there's always new obstacles and things, but I I just know from experience with Justin they love so fiercely and they are such selfless people I mean so incredibly thankful for them.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:It creates a world of new obstacles and hurdles for you, especially being um, new obstacles and hurdles for you, especially being um the woman in the life of a first responder and then adding, like the mom of the family unit. But it's not impossible and there are so many more good things that come from it. Just think. I know for me it sucks having to rearrange plans. You know we can't do Christmas on Christmas Day, so how are we still going to do Santa and all the traditions and everything with Cole? And you know just all the rearranging and planning and preparation that it takes just for him to go on shift. Does he have everything washed and packed and everything that he needs, and what is he going to be seeing for the next 48 hours?
Speaker 3:But what I'm learning as cole's getting older? He admires justin so much and justin is teaching him so many incredible values that I'm glad he's getting that he wouldn't have gotten if he wasn't in a first responder family. So just compassion for others, um, you know, really doing selfless work and having a passion for it, um, how to be considerate of others and cognizant of other people in different situations. We're constantly telling Cole Cole, you know, not everybody has what you have and so really being grateful for that, and how to talk to other kids you know, kids who are displaced from fires or, you know, have lost a parent because of something that Justin would have run on in a call at work.
Speaker 3:He is so much more easily able to talk to Cole about things like that, which are so important, that I can't do yeah, um, I'm just not comfortable doing it. It's not something I see every day in work and so the values and things that he's bringing are well worth. You know, having to go through all the extra hurdles and milestones and it makes him being home for um, all the celebrations and you know moments, birthdays, anniversary times that much more special. Um, yeah, I mean, uh, I couldn't have picked a better one. He's just just great. So I think the payoff and really what are you getting in a first responder family?
Speaker 2:all the important and incredible things that your spouse is doing for your family um, yeah, wow, you know I'm sitting here thinking I guess I obviously, since I met you, I've known that justin has been like he's a firefighter, but I don't think I've ever like fully sat and processed him like really being like gone for one. I mean, I know he's gone, but like fully sat with it, yeah, and what it may be like, like you know, in your, your shoes yeah, and honestly it's a little better now because he's he he's on the 4896.
Speaker 3:They do shift change at 10 AM so for him to drive to the station he leaves by 8 AM. So reasonably during the week we can wake up with them and see them out the door and you know we're up when he comes home and he has enough days where he doesn't just want to sleep for a full day and then go back into work. He has some some actual time off with us. Used to um, when we lived in east texas he worked for a fire department but he also volunteered at a local volunteer department another level of commitment right now oh my gosh, let me tell you we slept with a scanner or page or whatever, I don't even know beside our bed and that was.
Speaker 3:If you're a first responder wife, you know that is the bane of your existence, because that thing will go off at 2 am. This man, I've never seen him get dressed faster than when a call drops. He is out of bed, he's got his stuff on, he is in his truck and he is going to help a person he doesn't even know. He doesn't even know, yeah, and he's just throwing himself out there middle of the night or any time of day and dropping what he's doing to go help someone else. Yeah, now we don't do all that anymore. He doesn't volunteer anymore because he's uh, he's working out here. But yeah, it's wild, it's a wild lifestyle. It's not not conducive for everyone, but it's a really special thing, wow well, is there anything else that I might have left off?
Speaker 2:um, about your journey or um, I guess, being a first responders wife and all that, anything that I we didn't talk about, that you felt like is important I think that pretty well covers it.
Speaker 3:You know, pray, pray for those first responders, but be praying for those first responders. Families too, um, especially especially those who are not always coming back from work. Yeah, I could not imagine. Obviously, it's always a risk with Justin going to work, but it's very hard for me to imagine him not returning from work ever. And so that is something that these families, and especially these wives, kind of always have looming over them. Maybe it's not always in the forefront of their mind, but that's a struggle that they, that is, realistically in their life.
Speaker 3:You know, what if something happens? Um, and so I I always keep those families especially in my prayers keep that in mind.
Speaker 2:Add that to my prayer list, for sure. Um so one. Actually, I have two questions for you, but I'm going to ask this one first, what do you stand for? I know man a lot. Give it to me. Give it, what is it?
Speaker 3:Give some grace. Overflow with the grace. You can't give enough grace. You don't know what other people are going through and if they're just having a bad day. And I'm not good at this, I am not good at giving people grace and it is something that I'm constantly working on, but it's something that I I really want to do and I do try to work on. You don't know what is going on with anyone. You don't know what that person needs. You don't know what they're struggling with. Just give. You don't know what that person needs. You don't know what they're struggling with. Just give some grace.
Speaker 3:We are all just humans. We are all trying to figure it out. Nobody knows what they're doing. Yeah, just help everybody along.
Speaker 2:That is true.
Speaker 3:We're all just trying to make it.
Speaker 2:I tell you about a time I'm like now you, God, woke you up this morning.
Speaker 3:And God is up this morning and god is giving you grace. Yes, on a probably hourly basis, if not. Yes, and especially those other moms that you're out there judging. Oh, since we're talking about mother's day, yeah, and I'm guilty of it too. I am not perfect, but I really do, more often now that my son is a little bit older and he is a handful, and we go to target and he's losing his mind over these toys, and then I see other moms and I'm like it's okay, girl, I know those days. I know those days. I have them too. You're just trying to make it. I'm not faulting you for your choices, I get it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I get it yeah, I mean I, that's actually really great. Grace has definitely needed more. So my last question for you is, with firefighting being kind of in the blood if Cole gets older and says you know, hey Mom, hey Dad, this is, you know, this is what I want to do.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think when I first got with Justin, that was a concern. If we ever had kids, I'm like like I don't know how I'd react, because not only is it now my husband, now I run the risk of something happening to my son, to him being in a dangerous situation. Um, I know he, as of right now, he's four, so obviously there's a lot of time for him to change his mind and figure it out but?
Speaker 3:But he definitely. He's all about it. He thinks that way. He loves to play firefighting, he wants to dress up, he wants to know everything his dad is doing. He knows all the different trucks, he's about it. So there's a good chance. You know, he'll be fifth generation. That'll be really special for them to share that. I think I'm prepped for it. But there is that little bit of me that's like you can go to be a doctor.
Speaker 2:Yes, you still save lives, yeah, yeah I don't know. I was looking at that picture and I was like dang I don't think I've ever asked her that what?
Speaker 3:would you justin and I've talked about it several times and in the beginning he was like no, he's gonna be a fireman there is no ifs, ands or buts about it, like that's what he needs to do. And so now you know, we're growing, we're maturing, we're getting a little bit older and he's, he's come around to the idea maybe, if that's not what he's into, it'll be okay yeah because at that point what calls for?
Speaker 2:she got at least 14 years. How many years has uh justin been with reese county?
Speaker 3:since we moved here, so about three years now. So that'll be. But he's been volunteering since he was in high school, like 17 years being a firefighter.
Speaker 2:What's, what's the? How long? How? How long can he be a fireman until you don't want to be one anymore? I guess how does?
Speaker 3:that work? Not exactly sure. I just know my husband's gonna be doing it till they tell him to go home and he can't do it anymore.
Speaker 2:So you, have to get. Um, yeah, just in a side hobby, hit you with a coffin or something. Right, goodness gracious. Well, thank you again for coming on and sharing your story as co's mom. For those that are listening, just remember that you are loved, you are needed, you are wanted. God has a plan for your life. Like Savannah said, pray it out, you don't know. Pray you know. Pray you feel lost. Pray you feel found.
Speaker 3:Pray, whatever it is just pray.
Speaker 2:I know for Aaron and I we typically try to start our mornings with prayer together and then we end the night with prayer together. So usually whoever does morning, the other person does the evening, and I just feel like it also. It's made a huge difference personally, but also as us as a couple as well.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, that was great advice. So just make sure you pray that thing out. And that's it, and I this one we dropped right before mother's day. So I do want to tell all the mothers, um, listening, happy mother's day. Um, and let's just be mindful of the women that may be listening. Um, they may have lost their little one. Spray upay, lord Jesus, pray a special prayer for them. I know this holiday is probably a hard one, so just keep them in mind. And with that I say bye.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to another episode of Standing in your Truth with Yanni. And if no one told you today, you are loved, you are beautiful, you are needed and you matter, be sure to follow on Facebook at Standing in your Truth Podcast with Yanni. Also on Instagram Talks with Yanni.
