Standing in Your Truth With Yanni
The podcast "Standing in Your Truth" will feature Yanni and a group of friends engaging in profound and intimate discussions on subjects such as mental health, finances, faith, and strategies for finding motivation during difficult periods. In this space, guests will be invited to share their life journeys, including the challenges they've faced and the obstacles they've overcome. This podcast aims to provide a platform for individuals to share their stories, ensuring that everyone's experiences are acknowledged, valued, and celebrated.
Standing in Your Truth With Yanni
Motherhood Journeys: Finding Your Village
The journey of motherhood doesn't come with an instruction manual, but it does come with guides along the way. In this heartwarming conversation, host Yanni welcomes her great-aunt Mari Spivey Willis to share wisdom gleaned from raising two daughters and now cherishing five grandchildren.
Mari opens her heart about becoming a mother at 35, when she brought home her first daughter and thought, "Now what?" With disarming honesty, she reveals how she navigated the uncertainties of parenthood without a roadmap, relying instead on prayer, community support, and the examples set by her own parents. Her journey from business professional to educator—ultimately finding her calling teaching pregnant and parenting teens—prepared her uniquely to understand the challenges mothers face across different circumstances.
What shines throughout Mari's story is her unwavering belief in the power of the "village." In an age when parents often feel isolated, she reminds us how crucial extended family, teachers, church members, and neighbors are in raising children. "If they did it, you saw it, you disciplined it," she explains, describing a community where everyone took responsibility for guiding children without fear of parental backlash—a stark contrast to today's individualistic approach to child-rearing.
Her perspective on transitioning from motherhood to grandmotherhood offers particular delight. While she admits her concern for her adult daughters never diminishes, she's embraced the joy of being "Grammy"—the one who offers every flavor of Oreos, fruit snacks, and boundless love. For those beginning their motherhood journey, Mari offers gentle advice: be patient, protect your children fiercely, and cherish each fleeting season. And for those still waiting or unable to become biological mothers, she provides heartfelt encouragement to mother those who need additional love and guidance.
Listen in as Mari shares how faith deepened her mothering, how closed doors led to better opportunities, and why finding something to smile about every day matters—even during life's most challenging seasons. Whether you're a new mother, a seasoned grandmother, or simply someone who values the wisdom of those who've walked before you, this conversation will leave you feeling seen, encouraged, and inspired to stand in your own truth.
Standing In Your Truth Podcast with Yanni Thomas
Hello everyone, welcome to Standing In your Truth podcast with your host, yanni. On this podcast you'll hear Yanni, family and friends having open-ended discussions on anything from faith, finances, relationships and how to stay motivated during life's trying times. Make sure to follow on all social media platforms. The social media link is in the bio. Sit back and get ready to enjoy.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of Standing your Truth Podcast. I am your host, yanni, so we are starting a new series. We have ended, at least for right now anyway um, the life model one we were doing. Now we're moving on to, um, loving on moms. Since may is all about mother's day, I thought why not have different moms come on and tell their journey, their story and maybe, um, encourage and uplift other mothers out there? So I am starting with someone that I have had on my list to come on my podcast for a good minute. She had been dodging me and then, you know, it all worked out in my favor and it really worked out in my favor because she walked in the door with a pound cake, if you know. You know it all worked out in my favor and it really worked out in my favor because she walked in the door with a pound cake, if you know, you know. So, okay, I'm going to let her introduce herself.
Speaker 3:I am Mara Spivey Willis. I am Yanni's great aunt. I'm a native Odessan. I am the mother of two lovely daughters, mariah and alicia, and yanni is also my daughter in a way, but she's actually my great niece. Um, I have three granddaughters, I have one grandson and I have a granddaughter on the way, so I will have four granddaughters and a grandson. Thus far I my background is I have a degree from the University of Houston and I have a degree from UTPB my master's from UTPB. I am a teacher. I also was the director of building and collection for the city of Odessa. At one time I decided that was not my love and that I really do like people. So I went with teaching kiddos, and my last job was my most rewarding, because I was the homebound teacher for our pregnant and parenting teens with the district, and so I was able to go into their homes and love on them and love on their babies, all the while teaching them, and that's pretty much who I am.
Speaker 2:Goodness gracious. First of all, I don't think I really have a master's.
Speaker 3:What is your master's in? My master's is actually in education. My bachelor's is in business.
Speaker 2:Okay, I don't know why my brain, I think, probably because I always just didn't know, but I don't know why I thought your bachelor's and your master's kind of had to somewhat, I guess align.
Speaker 3:You can kind of, yeah, I mean, you know it's just all in the classes you take, but you know's just all in the classes you take, but yeah business uh management and teaching education.
Speaker 2:Good to know learn something already. All right, question number one what motivates you?
Speaker 3:what motivates me? Um, just to do better. You know, I'm motivated every day to do better, to stress less, to give more, and, uh, I would have to say, my motivation is that I grew up with parents who gave. My mom and dad were givers, they were community people and, and my dad would bring someone home off the interstate at any given time that he had just picked up and he felt they needed a meal, you know, and we welcomed them in and he took them back to the interstate and they were on their way. And then my mother served in the community, she worked elections, and so I guess my motivation, even though they're not here anymore, is just to make them proud and, to you know, give back. When I was running for a city council, um, my deal was that to whom much is given, much is required, you know, you know, and so I think we owe it back to a community that's been a good to us, and Odessa has been a great community to me.
Speaker 2:So that is another reminder to myself that my serving Taiwan I don't want to serve is just in my blood.
Speaker 3:I don't really, it's just in your bloodline you can't miss it, nope.
Speaker 2:I don't know about picking anyone off the interstate, though.
Speaker 3:I was back at a time that you could.
Speaker 2:I'm like I don't think I'm doing well, I'll feed him. We'll get him a meal for sure. Okay, how?
Speaker 3:do you protect your mental health? I protect my mental health by number one my relationship with God and praying. And prayer is really essential in my life because I just feel like it's something you can do all the time, anytime, every. You know, when I was growing up, I thought you had to be in a posture and you had to be on your knees and you had to be by your bed. And then, as I became, as my relationship with Christ, you know, enlarged, my territory increased. You can just pray anytime and all times and I just know that he answers prayer. I just know it because I've seen it happen and I've had prayers answered. I'm still waiting on some answers, but I've seen it.
Speaker 2:God's timing.
Speaker 3:That's what keeps me centered as well, as people wouldn't know it, but I'm a colorer. I like coloring books and coloring my grandkids. They stabilize me when I'm kind of going real wild and crazy and my brain is going every which way. When they come over, it's just simple Grammy, and they just kind of calm me down. They show me that whatever I'm stressing about, I've got so much to be thankful for in them and my and my girls my girls as well, my family, but yeah yeah, whenever I go over, don't tell my secrets whenever I go over to my aunt's house and all the grandkids are there, I be like, oof, we don't have kids here, we don't mind them.
Speaker 2:But when you go from zero to about five, right, you'd be like wait a second, hold on it does get wild and crazy when they warm up because they don't warm up, then you really won't hear from them at all because they be a little quiet.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but when the personalities come out, it's crazy, but you know, I waited a long time to be a grandma and didn't know if I would be a grandma, and because all my friends have great grandchildren and great great grandchildren now, yeah, and so I was kind of woe is me, you know, because I didn't have grandkids, so now I just take full advantage of it. I don't blame them.
Speaker 2:Okay, so what about this one? What is your self-care routine?
Speaker 3:My self-care routine is prayer again. You know, taking care of myself. Um, I like massages, so I, uh, you know when I can I get a massage? Um, I like to just kind of I like sonic, sonic drinks or stars drinks. So you know, when I need quiet time, I just kind of pull up at Sonic or Stars by myself, get me a soda and just kind of quiet myself and in it helps. I'm a simple girl. But you're forgetting one thing your walks. I love my walks, I do. I love walking. I don't like exercising, but I love, love, love walking. I don't like exercising, but I love love, love walking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're two miles.
Speaker 3:My two miles. I'm trying to get to three now.
Speaker 2:I'm pushing. Oh, okay, the first second. She'd be like is it two miles? Okay, we're done. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I have a treadmill at home. It's just not the same.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not as outdoors.
Speaker 3:I just like being out and meet, meet.
Speaker 2:You know I'm a people person so I meet people on the trail and I get to talk and learn their stories, all her friends. We've been walking with her recently and they had a whole at least 15 minute conversation. I haven't seen you recently. Oh, I've been here and I'm like are we not supposed to be working out right now?
Speaker 3:I know, but I, that's just who I am.
Speaker 2:I love people yeah it's so funny to hear that because I'm like it's just my my nature? Yeah, it's just in the book. What advice would you give your younger self?
Speaker 3:Oh, that's a hard one. But if I could give advice to my younger self, I would say obey your parents. They really do know. They really do know what they're talking about. And I was not a bad, bad mischievous girl, but I didn't listen as well as I should from. You know, I was the kid that my mom had to come up because I couldn't quit talking in class. I wanted to teach the class, you know, and so, and that was a struggle there, when I went to college, they really wanted me to stay home and go to OC, you know, and I just had to be away, and in the big city of Houston, you know the lights, the guys, the everything. And I made some big mistakes there, you know, and had I just listened, and life probably, you know it is what it is and god already knew, but it probably would have been a little simpler for me, yeah, if I would have.
Speaker 2:So the younger self is just know that your elders kind of do know what's what's cooking I mean, I feel like that's probably advice that we all can tell our younger selves, all of us, because every time I I, when you're saying that right now, it makes me think. The first time I got married and I think you were trying to ask me about the situation and I was like, yeah, it's good what I mean? I probably would have stopped and actually let me ask my questions and get some answers.
Speaker 2:Probably wouldn't have gotten married the first time, but then you know.
Speaker 3:I've learned and grown. Yeah, it's all a part of the plan.
Speaker 2:That is actually really good advice. There are probably no young person's going to take them. Right, but, but I mean, you planted the seed. That's all you really can do. Okay, so I'm probably save that one to the last. We'll go to the next one. What is your mindset when you're told no or a door shuts?
Speaker 3:To me. When I'm told no, or a door shuts, you know, I pretty much just find another door to open. I mean it just there's a way to do most everything and you know, if the door shuts, there's bound to be another door for me. Okay, if I don't find the door, you know I'm the kind of person I build the door, the door. I build my own door and open it.
Speaker 2:But you say give me the part for it.
Speaker 3:Just don't stop me, you know. But I think a closed door also can mean, you know, refocus, you know, see what's in it that maybe shouldn't be for you, you know, give it, analyze it, and it may truly be a no, you know, and the door may need to shut. I'm thankful for the doors that have been shut, that I wanted opened and they really shouldn't have, and if it had been allowed, it'd be a disaster. Yeah, so you, you know, you just have to be mature about it, and but, but don't be afraid to find another door to open.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we just something about when you said that some doors needed to be shut yeah, some, just with locks on.
Speaker 3:You need to be shut and locked.
Speaker 2:yeah, no, you're that's true, because you know we've been trying to still open the doors locked Because you're thinking about some of the stuff you think you wanted. And think about it now and you're like, thank God, I did not.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Even at my age I think. I'm so glad that didn't happen. I'm so glad I didn't get that, but at the time it was what I wanted, I had to have it and the door shut and I'm thankful. But some things you know, people said I couldn't get and I found another door and it worked, okay, okay.
Speaker 2:What is one moment in your life that has really shaped you or made a huge impact in your life that has really shaped you or made a huge impact in your life, I guess, becoming a mother. Yeah, that's why I saved that question, because I figured that was probably going to go into that.
Speaker 3:Becoming a mother, and it shaped me, it impacted me and it continues, even though my children are above 30. Yeah, thanks for not putting ages in there Above 30. It continues to mold me and shape me. Yeah, because it doesn't come with a book, and so I always tell my oldest you know that you were my. Thank you for letting me practice on you, bruh, you know.
Speaker 2:I feel like this is no shade, but I do feel like every parent needs to tell their oldest child that Uh-huh, I do because I didn't know what I was doing.
Speaker 3:You know, I had not a clue what to do with a baby. Once I had, I was like, okay, so we got this baby. Now what? How old were?
Speaker 2:you when you had Mariah. I was baby. Now what? How old?
Speaker 3:were you when you had mariah. I was 35, I think that was an older oh you look my age.
Speaker 2:Well, a little bit older.
Speaker 3:I was, I was older, you know. It may be a few off, but yeah, I just I didn't have a clue, you know. And so I bring this baby home and it's like so what do you do? How do you mold them? How do you build character? How do you build integrity? How do you build all the things that you know, your mom built in you and your aunt built in you and your relatives built in you? How do you do it and what happens if it goes wrong?
Speaker 3:yeah, you know, what happens, because you can have the the best intentions and do your best, and it still goes wrong, you know, and so you're like okay so what were the first?
Speaker 2:I guess like let's go with the first year with mariah, technically what you had mariah by herself for three years, three years, yeah the first year.
Speaker 3:it was just, it was just learning. You know, you've got this baby um, and in my day and time you you could tap their hands. You know you could kind of tap their pampers and things like that People don't do now, but it was just learning. You know, the one thing I wanted her to know, even at one, is that she was loved. You know, however, I could do it. You know we didn't have a lot of money, but you know it didn't take a lot.
Speaker 3:You know, just spending time just loving on her, protecting her, trying to. I'm a reading major so I really read to her a lot because oftentimes we, we as African Americans, don't get to, in that that time didn't get to travel. We were fortunate to travel and take our kids, but some don't. But they can go so many places through reading, through books, they can travel anywhere they want to go. So I made sure that I was hopeful that I had a foundation. I probably kept her in church way, way more than she wanted to be there. She was forever in church and I'm thankful that. You know I didn't know how it was going to turn out, but what I didn't want is her just to be in church. I wanted her to have a relationship and I'm thankful today that she has a relationship with God. That's important and it was, you know. But I had good people surrounding me.
Speaker 3:I was going to say did you have a village? Yes, I had an excellent village. My aunt, you know, she would have her over. My mother would have her over, you know, I just it was a village. My husband's family would, you know, do their part, and it truly took a village. My husband's family would do their part. It truly took a village.
Speaker 2:What was the difference once Alicia came into the picture?
Speaker 3:When Alicia came in the picture, Mariah was more calm. I could look at her and say don't do that.
Speaker 2:She would know the look and she would kind of comply, Alicia but I mean to this day, for those of you that know Alicia, alicia.
Speaker 3:Alicia was more, uh, daring, more, uh, let me just test the waters and see what she does. So they had two distinct personalities, you know, but they're they're both had their good personalities, you know, but they were just distinct, you know, yeah and then my mom was sending me down on, uh, summers and christmas and I would just, and then I had two of those personalities, because you and alicia were three apart, so I had those two personalities in the same circle.
Speaker 3:But again, the village teachers, my mom being active in the community, everybody knew each other and so everybody took in each other's kids. It didn't matter where or what. In that same sense, everybody disciplined everybody's kids. You know, it didn't matter where or what, in that same sense everybody disciplined everybody's kids without retribution, without the parent coming back and saying why did you do this? To my note, if, if they did it, you saw it, you disciplined it.
Speaker 2:don't bring it back to me you know, and I thoroughly remember being like I went over someone else's house. I was an adult. That's how my mom had her business.
Speaker 3:That's how it was, you know there were certain things you did, certain things you didn't do, you don't, you know, you don't go over to anybody's house looking hungry, you know, if they want to offer you food, just say no, thank you, and come home.
Speaker 3:You know just things like that. But it was the village and so I really don't think I could have done it without a village, just the church. Everybody played a part in my kiddo's life. Mariah lost a very good friend of hers who was a coach not long ago in Lola Brooks and she was a teacher there who saw some things going on in Mariah's middle school and she pulled her aside and she pulled me aside and and laid it down and, you know, gave Mariah some keys to be successful and I think she's forever grateful for that. But she didn't have to fear me coming and saying, why are you doing this? Why are you telling my kid this? Why it was just okay. You know, I felt her spirit, I knew it was good and Mariah, you know, uh, eulogized her when she passed.
Speaker 2:It was that kind of relationship I do feel like the respect um for most adults, but for sure teachers, is not the same.
Speaker 3:It's as what it used to be teachers loved teaching, but they loved people and they want they taught because you know you don't make money teaching, so they taught because they wanted to instill, they wanted to build character, they wanted to build integrity and and they did it because of the love for people. Where now, a lot of times, unfortunately, you have people who need jobs, yeah and but, but teaching is you can't be about just needing a job. You've got to be about people.
Speaker 2:No, because you're molding these little people. You're molding their minds, let them one day be the nurses, the teachers, the doctors, the lawyers, the mechanics yeah all of that. So if we're letting them get away with anything and everything now, yeah, what kind of adults will we have? Oh yeah, no, for sure, we're paying for it now when you go and your doctor and your nurse or your lawyer can't understand the basic stuff. This is, you know, one of the things to think about well how has your faith changed since being a mom?
Speaker 3:since being a mom, since being a mom, mm-hmm, because they make you pray more.
Speaker 1:Good day.
Speaker 3:They make you pray more. And so you know you have to get closer to God so you don't do anything to the children. I cannot, no, it's just you know, because I children. I cannot, no, it's just you know, because I knew, I know it's so important to, um, not just talk the talk, yeah, but you have to walk the walk because you've got people watching you when you get children, you know, and so it wouldn't be too good for me to say one thing at home and do another thing at church. So it it drew me in to say these little people's brains are in my hand and their little minds about who god is and about who the church is, it's. It's up to me to kind of help them to form that. And so, yeah, and then you pray a whole lot more. You know, when you're waiting up for them, and it's the curfews at 12, and it's 12, 15, and you start praying, you know, and you start, you know it.
Speaker 3:Motherhood, no matter whether you're the natural-born mother or an aunt who's being a mother or a grandmother. You know it brings. It brings everything out of you, mmm, everything out of you. You know it brings, it brings everything out of you, everything out of you know, and you just. Mariah could tell you stories when she went to Canyon. And if I couldn't find her by the second phone call, I already knew the security guard for the campus and I would call him and he would go find her. She would would be so embarrassed. Your mother's looking for you. She needs to answer your phone, uh-uh.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, so does the worry go away as the kids get older, because now you're switching hats, now you're a grandmother and mother Right.
Speaker 3:I think your concern and your care and your mothering never goes away. You know I still care that they're, that they're not hurt. I still care that they're financially stable. I still care that you know nobody does them wrong.
Speaker 3:You know, all that not not any of that goes away, but I, as I grew older and as they grew older, I I was more able to release them. Okay, you know, and say God, I did what I could, I did what you gave me to do, yeah. And so now I release them. Yeah, you know, it doesn't mean I won't chase them down still or need to know where they are, not because I'm being nosy, but because I'm being protective. But you know, it just shifts. And now, you know, with my grands, I feel like some of the nurturing and the learning and all of that that's kind of on their parents. So I can be fun, I can be Oreo cookies, I can be fruit snacks. You know, I can be all of that, even though their parents don't want me to be.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I do it anyway, and she definitely does she has different flavored oreos. I'm like, why is this even a flavor? Because one of them? Doesn't somebody like lemon flavor somebody?
Speaker 3:likes mint yeah somebody likes the plain oreos and somebody likes chocolate chip, and then kaiser, he just kind of the boy, he just kind of gets whatever's there, he's, he's good, he's good to go yeah, all those flavors, maybe the plain ones.
Speaker 3:That's about it, but I don't know but I you know, grandparenting brings you to another level and, like I said, I became a grandparent older than most, almost all of my classmates, I mean they have great grands now but technically she was about the same age as you were when you got right, but but most of my classmates had kids in their 20s.
Speaker 3:So they became grandparents, you know, and and and a lot of them know married early and all that. And so I just kind of waited around and thought, hmm, when am I going to be a grandparent? You know, when am I going to be a grandparent? And so the Lord blessed me and now I've got an old woman with the shoe. She's got so many grandkids, yeah she's got the team of them.
Speaker 2:But do you think, since you became a grandmother later, do you think it allows you to like, I guess, have more time for like your career and to love on those students you were with?
Speaker 3:Yeah, it did. I got my career done, you know, and and almost finished before the baby start coming, but and I think it it brings a calming, you know, because I'm kind of like real chill right now. You know, and nothing they do the grands do kind of rile me where if I had more energy maybe they would rile me up and give me on.
Speaker 3:I'm just kind of like, okay, you want to watch two movies, let's watch two movies you want four oriole, get four oriole oriole, it's granny's house, yeah, so, um, I think probably if I had had grandchildren when I was younger, you know, I'd probably be the only thing that I think would be different. I'd be jet setting off with them, you know, and taking them here and taking them there, whereas now, when I do that, I kind of almost prefer a parent with me you know, and so. But you know, the one daughter is going to have four, so we're going to have to have a parent.
Speaker 2:You probably have to have both parents and then some. What advice would you give for someone who's listening, who maybe either just had their first little one or is pregnant with their first little one or is still trying that beginning stage of motherhood?
Speaker 3:For those who have just had it just be patient. It's just just be patient, it's, it's. It's hard in the beginning. There's a lot of adjusting, there's a lot of adjustments, there's a lot of juggling, there's a lot going on. There's a lot of moving parts at one time, especially if you're a single mom, you know, and some are, and they're single moms and it's just like I need more help and you do, but it's doable. If you're a two parent, you know, and you're just starting, it's doable, you know it's.
Speaker 3:It gets frustrating because, again, they don't come with books, but it's doable, and the time passes so quickly. So I would just tell them to cherish each, each season, cherish each moment, because you've got the baby crying, needing milk, and then they're graduating from high school, you know. So cherish the time for those little ones, those who are pregnant now, you know it's. Just think about what you can do to be a good example. You know, keep them protected. You know, so many times you read about moms who didn't protect the kid and the kid. Somehow. It's a bad story, you know. Just do your very best to protect your kid, no matter what. You know, no matter what. Let them know you have their back and you have their back in good times and in bad times, you know, cause every time won't be a wonderful time, even for Christians, parents, even for Christians. And so build them to where they can.
Speaker 3:Uh, you know, think about ways you can build your children so when the hard times hit or the not, so they don't fall apart. You know, things will happen and I think that's the important thing with parents is that they need to know is that it won't all be hunky dory, you know, but it's doable and you can do it. And those who are still trying to be mothers, you know, just trust God, just trust God. And it's just like everybody won't be a wife, everybody won't be a mom, but you can be a mother to someone. We have so many kids that need mother figures and be that. And you never know the difference that makes in someone else. Even if you don't birth a child, you can still mother a child.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's the space on it, I mean, if it happens it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. But, like you said, there's so many kids, so every kid that I kind of interact with or come across my path is just, you know, love on them, encourage them and build them up and allow them to know like, hey, I'm in your corner if you need me, right, and then I come home to my quiet house.
Speaker 3:Right, and that's the village, and God makes us all different. So he already knows your future. He already knows the future of those mommies who are waiting to be mommies or may for some reason not be a birth mom you know, and Mother's Day can be hard for them, you know, understandably so.
Speaker 3:But just know that if you can dig really deep and you've got, you know they've got so much to give and give it elsewhere. Give it to those who you know don't have the love, don't have the the nurturing, and you know it truly makes a difference. And no matter what people say, it still takes a village. You know, without that village it just, it's just not the same.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I. There's a couple of people I mean, like for alicia, for instance, only when she needs me she really tells me she needs me, but when she does, you know I put it on my calendar and you do and you don't know the difference that makes you know, just like you offer to me.
Speaker 3:you know when she delivers, you know that you're available, you know, and that means so much because as a mother, I was trying to say how can I be there for my daughter when she delivers and I need to be here for her kiddos, you know, to make sure they're stable that day.
Speaker 2:So yeah, so then I'll go and visit Alicia.
Speaker 3:And so it all works out.
Speaker 2:What do I say? I am, I'm really company. You know, usually when someone has a baby, you know you go over their house and you're like, let me hold the baby and change it so the mother can rest.
Speaker 3:Nope, that ain't me, that is not you. You can entertain the mother, I do.
Speaker 2:I make sure the mom is up for the baby and I put the pacifier in the mouth, and now that she has other kids, maybe I'll take those other kids and maybe get some ice cream or something. Right, right, but I, but I'm not the one. You leave your newborn with what's going to work. If you have to, I'll be fine but if I had a choice?
Speaker 3:no, but it takes everybody. It takes everybody with what they have to give to make it work.
Speaker 2:They put me with the babies for Sunday when you're like toddlers-ish. But diapers still had to be changed and they still had bottles there are a lot and I looked and I was like bruh, like toddlers-ish, but diapers still had to be changed and they still had bottles there are a lot and I looked and I was like bruh.
Speaker 3:But guess what? You made it? I made some friends Because it's doable and you never know the impact you're making on a kid. Yeah, you know, and that's what I would you know, always tell them. Then, when I think Aaron and Ladarius started teaching, you know, I was saying, if you can just do it for that one, you know, and it sounds like that one I got you know 60, 70 kids.
Speaker 3:If you make a strong impact on that one, that's planting that seed and that they're going to remember you and they're going to use what impacted them on somebody else yeah, I always thought I said hey, you're especially with those athletes and stuff. You're changing generations, changing lives yeah, she's like to me, like what? And you're touching lives. I mean, you know, you never know how, but I've had so many kids. You know I run back into miss willis.
Speaker 2:You remember when I had my baby, you came to my house yeah, we had the one that we met at um at her event. That was yeah, and she stopped you from talking to ask you hey, were you?
Speaker 3:and I was like oh gosh, yeah, and so that was one of the most rewarding things. You know, um is the district. You know, we had our own little school for our pregnant and parenting teens and we could, we could. There's two choices you can make. You can ignore it and play like it didn't happen, yeah. Or you can make it work. And so at our campus, at Teen Parent Center, we made it work. You know, we saw a kid put a baby on a table and could fall. We were there to say no, no, no, take them down, you know, and we made a difference.
Speaker 2:I'm sure you did, because, especially at that age, they're babies.
Speaker 3:They're babies themselves.
Speaker 2:It does not work at all. What advice would you give for someone who they're walking into motherhood I mean not motherhood, I'm sorry being a grandparent, a grandmother.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh, just love on those babies. First of all, all your smile, I mean motherhood.
Speaker 2:You had a smile.
Speaker 3:But when I say grandmother, oh my gosh, you just love on those babies and just pour into them positive things. Right now we're in a culture where there's so much negativity that they're having to face that, if you can just pour some positivity into those grandbabies, attend every program you can. You know, I know some can't, but I tell you, retirement has afforded me the opportunity, you know, to attend the programs and just to be there, cheerleading for them and taking the pictures and having the sleepovers and, you know, giving them a bunch of sugar against their parents will, and just just loving on those grandbabies and knowing that you know it would. It would be my hope that I live forever and so, but the the reality is that I won't, but I will hope that they could go back and say, oh, I remember when Grammy did this, or I remember Grammy said this, you know, cause they're listening and they're sponges right now. You know, and, and even as they grow a 10, you know, never let them get too old where you think, oh, they don't want me in a program, they do now. They may not want you to hold her hand or go and acknowledge them, and that's okay, but just that your, the grandparents present, makes it makes a difference.
Speaker 3:There's things like from my grandma and she didn't live here, but whenever we would go to my hair, to my grandmother's, I always always knew that there would be tea cakes. I always knew, without a doubt. So soon as I walked into that house and I hugged her, I would head to the kitchen and there was a batch of tea cakes, I mean, without fail, and she was the best tea cake maker, and so I remember that about my grandma. I remember my grandma would just kind of give me the look and I would know to fall in place.
Speaker 3:You know, and and um, I didn't have her here all the time, but the time that, uh, we went there and then when she ultimately came here to live with my mother, we got even closer, you know, and I knew her personality and what, what made her smile, and you know just things like that. And you know what my kids got from their grandmother my mother they still tell me about and you probably remember that. And you know what my kids got from their grandmother my mother they still tell me about and you probably remember some things. You know, let me see, from my mom she was just, she was the ultimate mother and grandmother.
Speaker 2:I don't know about mama, but I do remember a time where um I think I've told this story before, though, but when mariah dropped me and Alicia off, we was like two bad twins that she didn't want to deal with and didn't come back and get us until later on that night you're still mad about that?
Speaker 2:I can see yeah, I was like what the? You gotta get over that. But me and Alicia had fun. We made mud pies. We fried some eggs in the middle of the street At Grandma's house. I'm trying to think what else we did with my mom, yep.
Speaker 3:You know they had rabbits and just everything. Oh, I do remember rabbits and that's what grandparents you want to. Just you know you still got to have that discipline.
Speaker 3:And right now I've got a little paper towel the inside of the paper towel the cardboard thing, and all I have to do is touch it and they get right. So at grandma's house they got boxes, just boxes, that stuff came in that they love playing in. Mom and dad want to keep house neat and they have company coming over and when company comes to my house I just tell them this is Grammy's house and so this is how it is.
Speaker 3:This room is the kids' room and they are free to play and explore and do crafts. I love doing crafts with them, baking with them, you know, and so it may not be the tidiest part of the house, but where they stay and play. But if my company can't accept that see, oh well see ya.
Speaker 2:She's saying adios. That's funny. I'm trying to think of my my. I spent a lot of time with younger anyway, with my dad's mom. She was the one that would come pick me up from school. There's two things that I remember. She had a company trip to Hawaii. She took me with her to Hawaii. And then she's also the same reason why I like cheeseburgers, french fries and coke. See, because when I was younger she used to order whatever she got her, she got me so I'm, I'm the oldest grandchild, um, between my mom and my dad.
Speaker 2:Um, I think on that side, I think, yeah, on that side. So I got a lot of like first, so you got spoiled, yeah. So I remember it like that Between that. And then she also introduced me to coffee, or maybe I introduced myself to coffee on her watch, but she let me do like sugar creamer and a little coffee, and to this day that's what you do and that's how that works.
Speaker 3:A little coffee with your sugar creamer, yeah and and jelly sandwiches probably a lot.
Speaker 2:It sounded like I was having the time of my life actually not thinking about that well, it was, and that's that's how we, as grandparents, wanted to be.
Speaker 3:Like there's no place like grammy's house. We want that, you know. And Even with discipline they think I don't discipline them enough.
Speaker 2:I don't remember getting disciplined by my grandmother. I also know that my mom laid the law down. To this day me being 34, my mother can say something in a certain tone and I'm probably still going to get straight line.
Speaker 3:That's the same thing with my girls, they know when enough is enough. Grandkids know when enough is enough. You know, grandkids know when enough is enough. It's hardly ever enough, but yep, that's.
Speaker 2:That's the Grammy life oh yeah but I will say the other thing my grandmother is the reason she introduced me to church yeah and to um. Technically it was church of christ, which later did not work out for me, but that's you know there, but it's. She did the introduction.
Speaker 3:Yes, she gave introduction for sure yeah, and, and you know, with my kiddos, I, they love praise and worship, the grandkids they love praise and worship. Uh, their parents take them to church and I think that's just amazing, because to me it means that you know something I said or did, even if we don't follow the same you know, at.
Speaker 3:I always tell people they say well, what, what religion are you? I said I love Jesus Christ and I'm a member of a Baptist church, you know, because I just love Jesus and you know I can go. I go where Jesus is and so but I see it in them. You know that the kiddos, they do their praise and worship and and I'm just thankful for that, you know, because to me it's the seed that was planted with my mother you know, as far back as my mother taking me to church.
Speaker 3:So I, you know, I far back as my mother taking me to church. So I, you know, I just believe that you have to plant jesus in them, yeah, and you don't have to be radical, but just plant jesus and let them know. This is why you provide, this is why you can get this, this is why because he does, he's the provider, you know, and they have to know that.
Speaker 2:It does make a difference it makes the difference.
Speaker 3:It is the difference, yeah, for sure, for sure.
Speaker 2:Well, one last question for you. Uh oh, who's your favorite niece? I'm just, that wasn't the question. Uh oh, technically I should say who's your favorite great niece. But anyway, oh, it's okay, I love all my people, but you know, I I keep these people. Quite often I I think I forget that technically you are my great aunt, because I always say you're my aunt and I always say you know, granddaddy's my grandpa. They'd be like wait what what? Yeah, I'm like oh, I think I missed something here. Sorry, I forgot a word but, yeah, they, they do.
Speaker 2:They're like huh, they try to put it together or tell me. I'm someone, I'm not Either one. But anyway, for real, my last question's for real, uh-oh, so usually. The quiet moment. Usually to close out, I do a prayer, but I've been to this new thing of allowing my guests that come on to kind of like give encouragement. So that's not just for moms, for anyone that's listening. Whatever's on your heart, um for you to encourage someone listening, okay, um, just to the listeners.
Speaker 3:Um, I would just encourage you to be your authentic self, to love the lord, to not take yourself so serious. We are in a serious culture, sometimes a hateful culture, but you can't be responsible for anybody but yourself. You cannot be responsible for someone else being kind. Be kind yourself. You cannot be responsible for someone else being kind, be kind yourself. You cannot be responsible for, um, really anyone.
Speaker 3:But I would just encourage you to just know that it is gonna be okay, it's doable and we can make it. You know, god already knows. He. I believe that with all my heart, that he already knows how everything's gonna turn out. Yeah, and I have a very good friend who tells me and and I use it a lot and she says, mira, god knows how to run a world. You know, and he really does. And so I just encouraging, and, as Mother's Day approaches, I encourage the mothers, I encourage the mentors, I encourage those who are aunties, I encourage the mentors, I encourage those who are aunties, I encourage those who are yet waiting and longing to be mothers.
Speaker 3:It's just, you know, don't give up, just keep trusting God for it and he'll lead you in the direction of what his will is for your life. So just trust God, enjoy life because life is short. Just trust God, enjoy life because life is short. We've learned here lately that life we knew, but just having had experienced deaths and friends and things of that nature lately, it's just made me know that what you have to take each day and just do the best you can, get the most you can out of every day, and just just be happy.
Speaker 3:You know, find a reason to smile each day. You know, no matter what the circumstance is, we all have some things that we could not smile about. Yeah, but find some things to smile about every day. I tell myself, no matter where it gets to or how it gets you know I'm dealing with some, you know, illnesses with my husband it's still a reason to smile every day, every day. So I would encourage your listeners smile, pass that smile on in the grocery store. If you see somebody that's stressing, just kind of tap them on the shoulder if you're comfortable doing that, and just tell them it's going to be okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and a lot of times they respond and they think it really will be okay I think a lot of people are just waiting to be seen, and being seen, especially by a stranger, a lot of times takes you off guard, you know, for the first couple of seconds.
Speaker 3:Then you realize oh, someone sees me somebody sees me kind of and I matter yeah, I think you can kind of feel the weight temporarily lifting off their shoulders. And it matters. It matters for me and you know, a lot of times, people who are out there and people like me, you know you're da-da-da-da, how are you? You know, I'm always. How are you, how are you doing, how are you today? It matters because even when people come and say, hey, how are you?
Speaker 2:I'm like, oh, I'm good, you know, I'm glad you asked, you know yeah, it does make a difference for sure. Well, thank you glad it took two years, six counties, four years whatever, yeah whatever, whatever to get you on to drop some knowledge.
Speaker 2:Well, I hope it helps someone is what I hope it's helped me to remember just to smile, just with the last part, I'm sure it will before I leave. If no one has told you today you are loved, you are seen, you are heard, you are felt, you are needed, god loves you and so do I. And, like my aunt said, find the reason for you to smile and remember also it's okay to not be okay, just don't stay in it, absolutely so peace out Bye.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to another episode of Standing in your Truth with Yanni. And if no one told you today, you are loved, you are beautiful, you are needed and you matter, be sure to follow on Facebook at Standing in your Truth Podcast with Yanni. Also on Instagram Talks with Yanni.
