Standing in Your Truth With Yanni
The podcast "Standing in Your Truth" will feature Yanni and a group of friends engaging in profound and intimate discussions on subjects such as mental health, finances, faith, and strategies for finding motivation during difficult periods. In this space, guests will be invited to share their life journeys, including the challenges they've faced and the obstacles they've overcome. This podcast aims to provide a platform for individuals to share their stories, ensuring that everyone's experiences are acknowledged, valued, and celebrated.
Standing in Your Truth With Yanni
The Courage to Be Unapologetically You
Aaron Thomas joins Yanni for a profoundly honest conversation about living authentically and protecting your mental health. The episode opens with Aaron sharing his unique perspective on motivation—acknowledging life's finite nature pushes him to maximize each day and fulfill his purpose. "My motivation comes from my fear of dying and not doing all that God has called me to do," he reveals, setting the tone for a discussion that moves beyond surface-level advice.
The conversation takes a deep dive into mental wellbeing as Aaron explains the importance of surrounding yourself with people who genuinely see you while distancing from those who consistently drain your energy without replenishing it. This philosophy extends to his approach to relationships, where he presents the thought-provoking concept of "mutual using"—the idea that healthy relationships involve reciprocal exchange that benefits both parties.
At the heart of the episode is Aaron's transformative life motto: "Do not hide, protect, defend or prove who you are to anyone." This powerful statement becomes a framework for authentic living that has freed him from exhausting cycles of people-pleasing and seeking external validation. Aaron and Yanni explore how this mindset has strengthened their marriage, improved their mental health, and deepened their faith by allowing genuine vulnerability and growth.
The discussion culminates with Aaron's compelling work mentoring at-risk youth and his passionate encouragement to stop running from difficult emotions. "It's okay to not be okay," he reminds listeners, emphasizing that true healing begins with sitting with uncomfortable feelings rather than avoiding them. Whether you're struggling with boundary-setting, searching for purpose, or working to build authentic relationships, this episode offers wisdom that will resonate long after you finish listening.
Subscribe now for more conversations that blend practical advice, spiritual insights, and authentic stories that remind us of the power of standing in our truth.
Standing In Your Truth Podcast with Yanni Thomas
Hello everyone, welcome to Standing In your Truth podcast with your host, yanni. On this podcast you'll hear Yanni, family and friends having open-ended discussions on anything from faith, finances, relationships and how to stay motivated during life's trying times. Make sure to follow on all social media platforms. The social media link is in the bio. Sit back and get ready to enjoy.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone, Welcome to another episode of Standing in Gertrude's Podcast. I am your host, Stigone. I'm going to apologize in advance for this podcast episode.
Speaker 3:I have why are you apologizing?
Speaker 2:Because I can already tell this is going to be interesting. He's been flashing a flashlight in my eyes and making the what is that thing called?
Speaker 3:The help noise from OC. No prime blending.
Speaker 2:Goodness. Anyway, he's sitting here playing the whole time, but I have my mister here, I'll let him introduce himself.
Speaker 3:What's up? Peeps, aaron, thomas, I have a.
Speaker 2:I mean the longest pause ever. You have a what?
Speaker 3:Lifestyle company called Excellence Above Talent. I have a podcast, I am a seventh grade social studies teacher as well as a coach and I do some mentoring on the side.
Speaker 2:And he's my husband.
Speaker 3:Yeah and I'm her husband.
Speaker 2:So let's get right into it. What motivates you?
Speaker 3:My motivation comes from I'm going to die one day. It's a very. Some people think it's dark, but if you add your days up, you might live 30,000 days in your life, and I'm assuming half of those days you're sleeping and working. So you don't have a lot of time to make the most of your life, and so the motivation comes from my fear of dying and not doing all that God has called me to do.
Speaker 2:I think, once you explain it, it doesn't sound as dark. At first, when you said it, I was like oh, that makes sense.
Speaker 3:I mean it's dark because people don't want to think about dying.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:But once you're born that clock starts to tick and at some point you're going to die. So that just motivates me to. When I get up and I don't feel like doing it some days, and some days I don't but for reading and praying, working out I protect my mental health by surrounding myself with people who see me. I protect my mental health by walking away from people who don't see me or who I thought were friends, and they never build you up. They always, you know, lift you, bring you down. So I protect my mental health, and in the various of areas mentally, emotionally, physically, because it's important. Emotionally, physically, because it's important. Again, you only have one life and so you have to make sure you're living it to the best of your ability.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I reposted something today or yesterday, but anyway that says men's mental health matters too. A lot of times we get caught up in just the female side, but men's mental health matters as well.
Speaker 3:And then you know sex as well. Sex is something that helps me mentally the smile on your face I'm gonna ask you married now anyways um we ain't living in sin no more. Okay, I'm done. What is?
Speaker 2:happening right now. Next question is what's your self care routine? I'm looking at you guys half the time. I have to remind you to do some of this.
Speaker 3:I think I have to get better on on having a routine. But if I was to tell you what I would want to do, this is how my self-care routine would be Waking up at 4 o'clock in the morning, working out, getting ready for work, getting off of work, making sure a few minutes to rest or recover from a crazy day at school, because every day is different. Hire me, motivate me, playing a game and then going to sleep pretty early, preferably 9, 30, 10. That normally doesn't happen.
Speaker 2:I was going to say what is our bedtime right now, midnight 12.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, but yeah, I mean, that would be like my ideal and it happens every so often, but it's not consistent yet.
Speaker 2:Gotcha, what advice would you give little Aaron?
Speaker 3:To show up and be who God has called you to be. Don't run from your greatness. A lot of us minimize ourselves in order to have friends, in order to be around certain people, in order to get a job, but I would tell my younger self to show up, be great, don't be afraid to piss people off because of your greatness. That's something that they have to deal with, not you. Yeah, so you just show up and be you.
Speaker 2:That's great advice.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Advice that has definitely changed my life. For sure. What is one moment that has shaped your life or made a huge impact on your life outside of meeting me?
Speaker 3:Oh, I was going to say you. Were you really going to say me I was Okay, well, I'll let you have it. Go ahead.
Speaker 3:Well thank gonna say you, or are you really gonna say me? I was okay, I'll let you have it go ahead. Well, thank you. Now, um, the shallow above or above, or how do you say his name? He did a podcast and he talked about the ministry of presence and what was the question? Again, I how somebody shaped my life. I thought it was someone. What is one moment? Oh, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, back to it. So he had a podcast about the ministry of presence and I think the moment where I was like mmm she.
Speaker 3:She, as in Yanni, could be something more than what she was at the time.
Speaker 2:Let's keep it real, all play real.
Speaker 3:She was at the time. She kept showing up. I was doing CrossFit competitions. She was working at DPS or 2-in-1. And she wasn't making a lot of money, but I would have competitions and she would make sure to hook her brother up snacks, drinks, whatever I wanted or needed, whatever I needed, because I didn't ask her to do it. Whatever I wanted or needed, whatever I needed, because I didn't ask her to do it. She showed up in more than one or two times. I think I had like three competitions. She showed up or she provided something all three times. There were times where she would cook meals. Did you cook meals?
Speaker 2:You're saying it. Yes, I did cook meals cook meals.
Speaker 3:You didn't buy me no groceries though. No, that was not me, okay, she, you know, she made sure I was, I was taken care of, and I was in a space where I wasn't really trying to be taken care of, I wasn't trying to be seen. She saw me, she heard me, she took care of me, and I think that was so. In that moment I had gotten a divorce. I didn't think I was worthy or enough, and because of her showing up and her presence, she helped me realize that I am enough, that I can be loved and I'm not this monster that maybe I was portrayed to be, and I do have my flaws and I do have issues. But she's seen past all of that and loved me for me. So I think that was a moment that really, I guess, motivated me to want to be better. I'm getting sound tonight, fellas. Good day, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:I'm so glad that I apologized way in advance, did you? I did, are you sure I'm positive? Oh, okay, what is your mindset when you are told no or doors shut?
Speaker 3:I mean shoot, what's meant to be is meant to be. I don't force anything. Noun, I don't A no. Some people say I try to take a no and turn it into a yes. I take the no and I try to figure out why the no was a no, and usually that figuring out another door or something else opens itself up because it was a no. For some reason, the timing it wasn't ready. There needed to be more, you know, work on on myself or the product, and so, um, putting yourself back, building yourself back up, um, looking at it from different angles I think it's super important and then going about your life because, at the end of the day, um, what's meant for you will be meant for you and what's not will not.
Speaker 2:I think that's one thing that I've definitely um had to take a lesson from you on, because I'm very like, what do you mean? No, like it's, it's a yes, but I feel like, with you leading us in this household, I've, kind of you know, had to, I guess you can say chill out um and just follow your lead on and if that's how you want to do it, then that's how we're going to do it. So cool beans. Now let's get into the meat of this episode, shall we?
Speaker 3:you said, you want some meat anyways, what?
Speaker 2:what did you? Say, when I came out I shouldn't have said it, but anyway so what I was trying to say is what is your life motto for us?
Speaker 3:uh, lisa nichols is the one that I heard this from and she said do not hide, protect, defend or prove who you are to anyone. What does that mean, kind of the, the quote or the advice I would give my younger self. I don't need to hide who I am from anybody. I show up to the room and I am who I am, and it's not a I'm going to force you. It's just this is who I am. I'm not hiding myself, and if you like me, you like me, and if you don't, you don't.
Speaker 3:Protect. Protecting myself or defending I think those kind of are the same, but I'm not. If you think something of me, there's nothing I can do to make you not think it of me, and so I'm not going to waste my energy and time trying to force you to see me in a different light. Yeah, and that protecting and defending yourself a lot of times and I've done that and it's still something that I deal with I'm not 100% like this is what it is, because I still have an ego, I still have, you know, pride, and so sometimes I do want to defend myself or protect myself from people who are saying things about me, but at the end of the day, I'm not going to change their mind, so I just show up. So hiding, protecting, defending and improving.
Speaker 3:I think men have a hard time because we feel like we have to prove ourselves 24-7. Prove ourselves that we are a good man, prove ourselves that we are a good husband. We have to prove that we are great at every single thing and it becomes draining. And all that proving does nothing for you mentally because when you think about it, you're proving stuff to other people about what you can do, and nine times out of 10, those people don't give a shit about what you can do. And nine times out of ten those people don't give a shit about what you are doing, because they have a life and they're trying to figure it out and they're struggling with their things. And here I am running around trying to prove myself to these people who don't really give a damn about me. Wow, yeah.
Speaker 2:How has that freed you?
Speaker 3:so it's um.
Speaker 3:I don't need to be in rooms that don't want me in there, yeah I don't, I don't like a lot of times you know you're defending, you're proving you're, you're hiding yourself, you're, you're trying to you who you are. There are certain people that, okay, I like this version of this guy and I'm now my version of who I'm supposed to be. I'm not no one else's version, and so that's freeing, because I wake up and I get to be me and not a version of what somebody needs me to be for that day Bars.
Speaker 2:Should I mark that.
Speaker 3:No oh too late.
Speaker 2:What do you think is like? When I think of what you're saying, I think of the opposite of it. I think that person must be, you know, I would say, depressed. I say that because at one point I spent a lot of my time, um, trying to hide and trying to explain myself all the time. At one point, I was a big people pleaser, um, whether it was family or friends, like they wanted something from me, whether if I was busy, tired or whatever, I would do it, um, and I would put myself last.
Speaker 2:And and I think honestly, since probably dating, especially now married, I just see that different, like I'm me and I've lost friendships. I've gained friendships Closer to some family and not closer to other family, but in the day, I just think it does come with a sense of peace and knowing that I'm'm just me, yeah, and I think also with that, I feel like it's also allowed me to build a relationship with god, because I feel like I don't know it's you're not, it's not so dark and it's I don't know. I feel like, since I don't know, since I'm not such a people pleaser, it's I don't know. I feel like, since I don't know, since I'm not a people pleaser. It's just like I spend more time in his word listening to what he has to say, versus what the world is having to say about me and what I should be doing and how it should look or whatever.
Speaker 3:Well, it's like I have that warped mindset of we're all users.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Every person in your life is a user and it doesn't sound like pretty, but I use you, you use me and the beautiful thing is there's mutual using and a lot of times, family or friends it's. You know they're using you, they are, you know, taking. You know all that you're giving them Family, friends, jobs, career, it's just everything and then in return, they aren't refilling the cup that you're pouring into them, refilling the cup that you're pouring into them. And if you have enough people who are taking from you and not filling you up I'm just kidding, I'm sorry, I don't know why.
Speaker 3:I need to get better If you have enough people taking from you and not filling you up, then you become a shell of yourself, you become depleted and then, once they are done using you all that they can from you, they will move on and start using other people. So it's super important to make sure that the using in your life is beneficial. You know you're using people for certain things and they're using you for certain things, and there's it's, it's mutual. You understand it. It's a beautiful thing and I think that's the the beauty of you know I I guess looking and seeing it now from a different perspective, but I feel like those people who are just like being used and not getting that cup full is the feeling of I look at it as like a broken glass mirror, a broken glass mirror and when you are giving pieces of yourself to every single body and then you finally look into that mirror that person is, it's like that funhouse mirror they're cut up, they're all in multiple pieces and they don't feel whole or together.
Speaker 3:And the importance of making sure you're taking back the pieces that you're giving to people and making sure overextend yourself trying to give to people when you know I need this for myself. It's important.
Speaker 2:It's part of that self-care mental health. It plays a part in that for sure, because we both know the end of last year I was completely just burnt out.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I have a servant's heart, and a servant's heart mixed with people-pleasing does not equal well.
Speaker 3:No, it doesn't.
Speaker 2:So I was signing myself up to be a part of all these things and it got to a point where I was the broken mirror. When I looked in the mirror I didn't have the pieces to kind of fill it in and I was tired and overwhelmed answering emails at 4 o'clock in the morning. I was like, okay, wait, what is wrong here? So I took a second, took a step back, took my name out of some hats. We're now, you know, I'm kind of volunteering somewhat, but I listen to my body and that's physically and mentally To say you know, am I tapped out or can I give? Do I need a nap before volunteering? I think also with being married, it kind of I'm like okay, wait, I have another person that I have to make sure is okay as well. Who?
Speaker 3:are you?
Speaker 2:married to again, I don't know this guy that happens to go by Aaron Thomas. Lucky guy, but okay. But how has this affected your faith?
Speaker 3:Or has it the not hiding, protecting, defending or proving?
Speaker 3:I feel like a lot of times, if you're trying to hide from others, you're also trying to hide from God, and it just now allows me to be human, to mess up, to try to figure things out, to have a conversation to you know, tell God, hey, you know I'm I'm having issues with uh pornography.
Speaker 3:Um, when I was like in that deep or um having issues with uh a lust problem, um, every real I'm looking at there's something that could help Australia away. So it's it. Now I see and I'm open to it and I'm having a conversation about it, versus trying to act like it's normal or I'm not doing anything bad or things of that nature. So it's helped me have a more open relationship with God because he sees it regardless, so ain't no point trying to hide it or anything. So, um, just having like that, that vulnerability and that connection um with him to say, hey, uh, I am in need of of help because I'm struggling and with finances, or I'm struggling with, um sexual impurities, or I'm struggling with finances, or I'm struggling with sexual impurities, or I'm struggling with the way I'm thinking about myself, and so it's more of an open dialogue than me trying to go to him like I'm a perfect man, just saying like hey, so.
Speaker 2:It kind of goes back to the relationship versus religion. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3:So it creates the space for the relationship yeah, versus me just saying I'm a christian and trying to act a certain type of way. You know, I don't gotta act anymore because I'm not hiding or proving, I'm just showing up yeah, makes sense.
Speaker 2:One thing I do want to say about this is when I learned that no is a complete sentence oh yeah a part of the whole thing. Your statement when I said proving no is a sentence. Yeah and that's it, and nowadays I'll tell them no, no, I don't feel like going clock that t girl.
Speaker 3:And huh, I learned that seven graders that's what they say when they were like no, they were like clock that T like oh, the way, you just called me off guard.
Speaker 2:What is clock?
Speaker 3:okay, clock that T like no, clock that T. That is what it is. I don't know. I'm assuming I could probably be saying something that's. That's not even that, but I say it at school all the time and they're like oh, oh my gosh Coach AT, you're not funny.
Speaker 2:Anyway.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Back to my original statement. No, it's a complete sentence. Clock that T.
Speaker 3:Yeah, clock that T, clock that T and move on, and move on, and yeah, that's that. Period Poo. Okay, what's?
Speaker 2:happening. That's what they say at the end of that it's period.
Speaker 3:Poo, I don't know. I've never heard that before. You've never heard that one before. Oh no, that's definitely. I don't know if I came from.
Speaker 2:You're making stuff up, no no, no, that's the thing, oh, okay, Anyway do you have anything?
Speaker 3:uh, what do I stand for? I stand for people because I I know the struggle and I have a a big heart, an open heart. If I could help everyone, I would definitely help everyone, but I know that I can't help everyone. So I will try to inspire, motivate, push the people that are around me and some people get it and some people don't like it because I'm, you know, pushing them to see the bigger side of themselves. But I stand for the people and justice and making sure that people are being treated the right way.
Speaker 3:And I struggle with that sometimes because back in the day I wasn't. I was still that person, but I wasn't mature enough to handle that responsibility. So there was a lot of hurt that I was doing to others. And now you know, when trying to processing and move forward, those things sometimes try to come back into your life. Those things sometimes try to come back into your life, but you have to address them. You know, sitting that I did that. That wasn't who I was or who I am. That was something that I was going through Trauma, pain.
Speaker 3:You're not blaming anybody. You're taking accountability for what you did and why you did it, so that you can move forward, so that you don't. You don't allow the path Pastor Trey, in our first sermon, talked about that that you're carrying all these, this baggage, and you're carrying all the past that is just dragging you down and you have to go. You to go through it and then be like, okay, I'm done with this, I'm moving forward, I'm running the race that God is putting in my life. I'm running my race and I can't allow this baggage to hold me down. I say that to say this I'm.
Speaker 3:You can still, back in the day, not have been a good person, but still be for people, still love people, still want to see people in all their good.
Speaker 3:And, on the flip side, you as a person, you can be okay with yes, I did those things, but that's not who I am as a person and I'm growing and maturing and getting better. So I'm not going to hide, defend or prove myself to anyone now. I'm just going to show up and stand for what I stand for, which is people. That's why we have, you know, podcasts and we talk to mentor young boys and, you know, going to the youth detention center and talking to those kids and anytime I'm able to have a conversation with a young man that's willing to pay attention and listen. I'm having those conversations because, at the end of the day, I don't want to see them go down the same path that I went down, which is just destructive. So I want to make sure I can do all that I can for, uh, the people I think that's one of the things that I fell in love I.
Speaker 2:One of the reasons why I fell in love with you is I saw how you were pouring into other people, especially the youth, which oftentimes quote unquote at-risk youth often gets forgotten.
Speaker 2:And people sometimes just write them off as throwing their life away based on the one decision that they make, which is not a good one most times, on the one decision that they make, which is not a good one most times. But you definitely take the time to uplift them, encourage them and remind them that they are not their mistake. Yeah, and they still have a life to live, which I feel like has what did I say? Has to. I don't know what the extra, what that was, but anyway, I don't know what you just said.
Speaker 3:I don't even know either. You're tired, I get it.
Speaker 2:Anyway, that has changed the way that I look at kids. We have the initiative where we're writing letters to kids that are in the youth attention center. We have kids that we keep up with that are in the youth attention center.
Speaker 3:We have kids that we keep up with that are sending them expensive ass burgers, but I do it in a heartbeat. Send them books burgers. Put money on books. They need to know that there are people on the outside that still love them and still believe in them and still know that they are amazing human beings and that eventually, when they get out, people do care. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Because I also, I don't know, I also one day I was just thinking I was like man, if we all just stopped dealing with people because they made one mistake, we would be dealing for one with no one. Yeah, dealing with people because they made one mistake, we would be dealing for one with no one. Yeah. But also for these kids, where their brain is not even fully mature, yeah, to understand exactly what they did. Um, if we leave them alone, you know who's not gonna leave them alone? All the evil that's in the world they'll continue to pour into them yeah that won't be good for them, so, but that's that okay.
Speaker 2:One last question.
Speaker 3:Oh lord, I'm sorry, my bad so um, I need you to encourage and uplift my listeners that are listening to this right now uh, my word of encouragement would be to I had a podcast with Coach Q and something that really touched my heart, because I can't say touched me, because that would be weird.
Speaker 2:Oh, my gosh focus.
Speaker 3:I have, like a little kid of mine sometimes. Something that touched my heart was he said that he sat in the feelings of what he was going through. He didn't run from them, and I feel like a lot of people are running from feelings that they need to just address. They need to sit down and I'm not sure if there's he did his through a tattoo, uh, for ink therapy. Um, I don't know if it's counseling sessions or turning off the light, uh, and sitting in, uh, pure darkness to and quietness.
Speaker 3:I don't know if it's turning on a one of those things on YouTube Meditation, yeah, like a meditation video, but sitting in those feelings that you have and not running from them because at some point in your life you're going to have to address it.
Speaker 3:So, anytime these feelings come up and you're running because you don't want to face them and you might not feel these feelings or emotions in the short term because the chain might be long and so you think you're just running past and you don't have to deal with it, um, but while you're dragging these feelings and emotions with you, um, they're also picking up on other things uh that are making it harder, uh for you uh to run.
Speaker 3:Um, it's making the chain, uh, shorter because it's more stuff that's getting getting on it to the point to where you're not even or you can't even run, to the point to where you look in the mirror, you don't like yourself, where you're changing yourself for everybody, and then, once you stop, all the stuff that you were trying to run from hits you like a ton of bricks. And now that's the work that you have to do. You have to start to unfill these feelings, unemotion, these emotions, and you have to now work three times as hard to sit in these feelings and emotions to get to the better you. So I would just tell people it is super important, when you're feeling something, to sit in it, to not let it fester, to not let it, to not try to shut it out because it's not going to go anywhere. Just kind of sit in it, figure out why you feel this way and then go on about your business.
Speaker 2:It's okay to not be okay.
Speaker 3:It is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, thank you, my honey bunny. Okay, for what? Honey bunny? No, oh, what do you like?
Speaker 3:What is this supposed to be? I'm a big dog. Ooh, ooh, I don't know. Yeah, honey, bunny, that's fine.
Speaker 2:Thank you, mr Thomas. Oh, you're welcome For gracing sending you to the podcast again. By the way, you never mentioned your podcast name.
Speaker 3:My podcast is Excellence Above Talent. It's on all podcast platforms like legit, on all podcast platforms, including YouTube. It's not the video, but the audio is on YouTube. If you just look it up, it'll be on there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'll link it to that way. If you guys would like to check his out, you can For sure.
Speaker 3:I got a pretty cool one tomorrow with Coach Q. He does a lot of speaking and he's the women's basketball coach at OC. He's got a few books, he's a John Maxwell leadership speaker and also Brian Cain does stuff with mental toughness or mental strength, and so he has all that curriculum things of that nature. So I think it's pretty cool and we had a pretty good conversation.
Speaker 2:So yeah, okay. And what do you tell your people at the end of your podcast?
Speaker 3:I tell them that, oh lord, what do I tell? Them If no one tells you today that they love you, let me be the first to say I love you. You are awesome. You are amazing. You deserve the best that this world has to offer. Do not give up, do not quit. The world does not get easier, but you will get stronger. Y'all have a great weekend. Bye-bye.
Speaker 1:Bye. Thank you for listening to another episode of Standing in your Truth with Yanni and if no one told you today, you are loved, you are beautiful, you are needed and you matter. Be sure to follow on Facebook at Standing in your Truth Podcast with Yanni. Also on Instagram Talks with Yanni.
