Standing in Your Truth With Yanni
The podcast "Standing in Your Truth" will feature Yanni and a group of friends engaging in profound and intimate discussions on subjects such as mental health, finances, faith, and strategies for finding motivation during difficult periods. In this space, guests will be invited to share their life journeys, including the challenges they've faced and the obstacles they've overcome. This podcast aims to provide a platform for individuals to share their stories, ensuring that everyone's experiences are acknowledged, valued, and celebrated.
Standing in Your Truth With Yanni
How Learning to Think Bigger Can Transform Your Life and Relationships
What happens when you stop trying to fix everyone and everything around you? In this deeply personal conversation, Cinda shares her transformative journey from an 18-year-old mother with limited horizons to becoming a respected community leader who's found her purpose in serving others.
"You can only do your part" – these six simple words changed everything for Cinda. After years of trying to control outcomes and fix situations beyond her influence, this realization freed her to focus solely on her responsibilities in each relationship, whether as a mother, wife, daughter, or community servant. The wisdom she shares about boundaries, self-acceptance, and personal growth resonates with anyone who's ever felt trapped by their own expectations.
One pivotal moment stands out in her story: receiving a food assistance box during a difficult time that was filled with expired and unfamiliar items. Rather than just feeling disappointed, this experience sparked her calling to ensure others wouldn't face the same situation. This led her down an unexpected career path from restaurant work to nonprofit leadership, all without the college degree she once thought was required.
What makes this episode especially powerful is Cinda's concept of "falling up" instead of down. Each setback became a stepping stone that ultimately elevated her to places she never imagined possible. Her authenticity shines through as she discusses learning that "no" is a complete sentence, embracing her true self (glitter and all), and finding the confidence to pursue goals independently.
Whether you're struggling with boundaries, feeling limited by your past, or simply trying to understand your purpose, Cinda's story offers both practical wisdom and inspiring hope. As she reminds us, "Be the social caterpillar or the big butterfly or a little ant on a hill, whichever one you want to be... just don't be afraid to be yourself."
Standing In Your Truth Podcast with Yanni Thomas
family and friends, having open-ended discussions on anything from faith, finances, relationships and how to stay motivated during life's trying times. Make sure to follow on all social media platforms. The social media link is in the bio. Sit back and get ready to enjoy.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of Standing In your Truth Podcast. I am your host, yanni. How is everyone doing? During the time of recording this, we are, I was going to say, smack dead in the middle, but we're not technically in the middle. We're kind of at the beginning of spring break, so it's hot outside, but it's cold in the morning. Doesn't make any sense to me. I don't know what outfit to wear. But that's life, um, but anyway, life's going good. So I have yet another guest woohoo to me, um for the series um, life models.
Speaker 3:So I'm gonna, so I'm going to let her introduce herself, hello hello, my name is Cinda and I am a mom and a wife and a daughter and lots of titles. I'm also the volunteer coordinator at Meals on Wheels of Odessa. Shameless plug Come volunteer. Two-way street there Helps other people and it helps you back. It's good for the soul. So that's me.
Speaker 2:That's a good elevated speech Because I feel like definitely serving is good for the soul, absolutely. I always tell people that's kind of what helped me when I was going for my divorce and all that Moving out here and getting to plug in the community made a difference. Yeah, hey, hit up Cinda.
Speaker 3:I gotta say and that's how we met yeah, literally is it that, or white peel yeah, serving together in different places.
Speaker 2:That is true. Yep, oh, I didn't even think about that yes, ma'am see, make new friends.
Speaker 3:I'm like wait, I didn't even think about that, you.
Speaker 2:You're right. All right, so we're going to go with our usual questions, so I should say house questions, but the first one is what motivates you?
Speaker 3:Hands down my children. They are my biggest motivator. I guess you know a lot of people say they want to live vicariously through their children. I absolutely do not. I want them to soar past anything I could ever be, so I just Everything I do. I know that they're watching, I know that they're listening and I just I want to do everything for them, for them to see, for them to learn, and I always tell them learn from your own mistakes, but learn more from other people's mistakes, especially mine. I will tell them my bad stories and I'm like, yeah, don't do that no, I would definitely say that's one thing about you, especially now this season.
Speaker 2:You're in currently, but cinda is a hands-on mom in a good way, like she's on the trips, she's doing the things with her kiddos um, always, always enjoy. Looking at the pictures that you post, I'm like, oh, look at them traveling with the band. I think is usually when you, where you guys, are traveling.
Speaker 3:My daughter, got out of band, but my son is still in choir.
Speaker 2:He's senior year but I did just yep, she's out of band.
Speaker 3:She's now in athletic stuff she got into uh, she's a sports trainer one of the athletic trainers, yep. And she got into medical terminology, oh, and decided she wants to be in the medical field, maybe like a physical therapist okay, and so she has completely done 180 and she's so happy with that change and I am too.
Speaker 2:I can see it in her wow so we have, um, I have a cousin that's a oh, I hope I get these titles right. Logic occupational therapist okay, for the school district oh, cool, um. And then I have a, a. Her husband is a physical therapist cool, I think. If not, there's something close to that, I think that's right, nice, yeah. So if you have any questions, I can always have someone come and talk to her, at least for Alicia for sure, if she wants to continue up. Okay, cool, for sure. Okay, how do you protect your mental health?
Speaker 3:I have to protect my mental health by realizing I can't do everything in a day. That's a bomb right there.
Speaker 2:You should repeat that one more time I can't do everything in a day.
Speaker 3:Yeah, if I mess up, most likely I can fix it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And you know, god willing, I have another day tomorrow, so I can just work on it. I always tell my kids, bad moments are just bad moments not a bad life. So if something happens, it's just like okay we can stop the podcast right there.
Speaker 2:I'm like I know that's not your life motto, but I mean, I think you forget sometimes that, like, bad moments are bad moments and they're not your life. I tell people that something like don't allow whatever happened also to become like your identity exactly like no, that's just a chapter.
Speaker 3:Yeah, do not sit in it. That's. That's a big thing that I really try to. When I'm in, when I'm in a bad moment, I have to really catch myself in it and make the effort to get out of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so yeah I say it's okay, it's okay to not be okay, but what are you gonna do about it? Yeah same thing pretty much, which is very mind-blowing. Simple things. Mindset right and how you think makes a difference. What advice would would you give your younger so?
Speaker 3:I would absolutely tell my younger self to think bigger, mmm, because I just I did not. I didn't have anybody to help me think bigger and I just wish I would have. Like I have so many conversations with my daughter who's 16 and it's like in the middle of the conversation I just catch myself thinking like I wish somebody and I tell her out loud I'm like I wish somebody would have had this conversation with me when I was a kid To tell me, try and do and, you know, have the failures and grow from them, and but at least try and helping me to learn and think about different opportunities.
Speaker 3:I, I was in a well, I was a stay-at-home mom for many years and then when I found my daughter, started preschool, I started working again and I just did food and I don't know why. It was like in my mindset, like yes, I graduated from high school, but I graduated. I was four months pregnant. I graduated with him, four months pregnant, walked the stage About a month later, two months later, here comes my son, premature baby, so 18-year-old, special needs mom, and it was a very isolating life and a difficult life and lots of learning curves, lots of challenges, and I just felt so limited and like in hindsight, it's like I feel bad for her because I didn't have that expanded mindset in any kind of sense.
Speaker 3:But I just remember once I finally started um, I mean, I had my daughter a couple of years later, after my son and, like I said, when she started preschool, I went back to work and and it was like I just went into food, thinking like, well, I just graduated high school, I've been home with my kids for a good few years since then and I just had this very limited mindset of, and belittling mindset of like oh yeah, you know, this is all I can do.
Speaker 3:I don't have work experience because I haven't been in the workforce for a long time. The only previous actual job I had done was a telemarketer when I was 16 years old for a couple years, until shortly before I had my son. So, and then after I had my, my kids, when they were small, I would go volunteer. That was, uh, the outlet I had and how I made friends and how I helped myself without knowing at the time and so, but I didn't count on that experience, I just did it and I tell people now I'm like, volunteering, no matter what you're doing, that is that is work experience. Yes, but at that time I did not know that.
Speaker 3:Yes, and so here I was, putting myself down and belittling myself to working at Denny's overnights, weekends, dealing with drunk people. Yeah, crazy time. But thankfully somebody saw my work ethic and they pulled me up and I went to a better restaurant. And then somebody pulled me up because they noticed me from there and I went to the Odessa Country Club, worked there for about seven years and I was doing really well. Um, I was, without even realizing it at the time, I was networking. I didn't know. I mean, I was just being myself, yeah, and talking to people, and you know, making these, you know very small, but still making these connections. I didn't even realize. Well, it's funny now because somebody I met at that time is now my boss. Oh, really.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that is wild. Yeah, many years later. But you know, I was there for seven years. I missed out on holidays with my kids because it was Mother's Day required, thanksgiving required, easter required, and, like my kids were small, I missed out on so many holidays with them and you know their motto. There was like, well, you get to get home, you know, by 6 o'clock. It's like my kids are in, you know, preschool and elementary. When I get home at that time I to go home, shower, get ready if we want to go eat at a restaurant or whatever you know it's like by time you wait in line and get to eat and it's it's already their bedtime yeah
Speaker 3:so it was such a such a long time of wasted holidays and things that I really regret. But I I finally, like I said, I was still belittling myself, putting putting my mindset to where, like I'm doing good here, but like this is kind of where I am, like it is what it is, kind of situation and I don't know what it was. But I I really wanted I always know, knew that I wanted to help people and I remember a girl that I worked there with at the country club had left and I saw her once. She told me she was working at the food bank and I was like I don't want to work at the food bank. I was like I've always wanted to help people and I would want to work at the food bank. I was like I've always wanted to help people and I would love to work at the food bank and I was like put in a good word for me.
Speaker 3:And I really don't think she took me serious because she was kind of like on her way to you know, eat with friends. She's like, oh, okay, cool, you know, whatever. So, fast forward a couple more years and I saw her boss more years, and I saw her boss and she had given a speech there at the country club and she was just kind of talking about all the things they did at the food bank and I was like man, I mean, I was just in awe. Yeah, I was supposed to be cleaning the room and I was standing to the side listening to the speech, and so when she finished I approached her and said hi, and I was like I really want to work at the food bank.
Speaker 3:I've always wanted to help people she was like yeah and exactly, and that was both for me very bold at the time and she was like well, we don't have anything open at the moment, but if anything ever does become open, we can definitely reach out to you, because she knew people I knew yeah and I was like, okay, so I kind of took her half serious.
Speaker 3:And then I I put myself down in the same moment and I told her verbally I said the only thing is I don't have a college degree or anything. And I remember, like it was such a moment that I remember it, like she looked at me kind of confused and she goes well, why would that matter?
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:And it was like it, to me it mattered so much because I thought that was a necessary stepping block. Yeah, and she looked at me she's like that doesn't matter. She's like we have a lot of positions that don't require a college degree or anything. Yeah, and it was like we have a lot of positions that don't require a college degree or anything. Yeah, and it was like so mind-blowing for me because I'm like wait, what? Like I can work there and I don't have to go to college. And it was just the food bank. I don't know why. I had it in my mind, yeah, and so fast forward about three months, and here comes a message. Hey, you know, they reached out to me. They told me from the food bank that you want to work here and we have a spot open and it's yours if you want it, um, come and apply oh, wow I mean that thankfully, you know, without bragging in any kind of sense.
Speaker 3:Thankfully, my work ethic has always been very strong. Yeah, enough to pull me from job to job to job. So I never, thankfully, had to apply for a lot of jobs, it was more like the standard like hey formality.
Speaker 2:I guess you could say so I did.
Speaker 3:I went in and filled out the application and did all the things and I got the job, worked at the food bank for about a year and a half and then work ethics spoke for itself again, I guess. And now I got pulled into meals. And well, it's been there almost three years now, which doesn't even seem like it. But all that to say, I wish I could just tell myself younger, think bigger.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Try like go for the goal, because I don't know why I was stuck in my head for so long thinking I couldn't work somewhere else without a degree or something.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be completely honest with you. I've had that mindset Really Plenty of times, and I think that I wouldn't say the only reason, but that's one of the reasons why I have held, held on to the idea of, like, I need a college degree, which, don't get me wrong, I mean, I feel like it's good to have one, um, and does open up some doors, but doesn't open up all the doors. Glad to believe that, like, wherever the lord wants you, he's going to put you at absolutely whatever's meant to be what happened, um, so but yeah well plot twist whenever I started working at the food bank, my whole life changed as far as my availability.
Speaker 3:I got to spend the holidays with my kids. I actually had too many holidays. I didn't even know what to do with my days off anymore. The funniest thing was my first holiday off was thanksgiving and I was so excited to have a holiday off after so many years of working them without being required to. I actually invited, like all my family and friends, to my house.
Speaker 3:I had like 35 people I fed everybody and I caught myself pouring refills and I'm like I'm working. So I got so mad at myself and I was like okay, I'm not doing that again. She's like we're not here anymore. But the plot twist is I actually did start going to college when I started working at the food bank, just because, and I finally graduated last year and got my associates in. So yeah, I'm excited.
Speaker 3:And the funny thing is, it was just because I don't need it per se. So you know, I already had my job before I had my degree.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So yeah, Definitely think bigger.
Speaker 2:I get it, but it's the idea of also having someone to help challenge you in your thinking.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think, for me. So I'm a part of big brothers, big sisters, so I have a little um which who's the cutest, by the way? And I often like I tell myself, okay, yanni, what are you like? I think, what are you going to tell her, what are you pouring into her? And, like this season, I'm just reminding her like, hey, we don't chase friends. Good, you don't change. Yes, be yourself. Because, also, to be reminded that, like in this current moment, she's in fifth grade, if I start pulling all this stuff into her that I learned over my adulthood, she's gonna make I'm crazy, right, it's gonna be able to process it. So I meet her where she's at. So she's telling me what's happening. Let me tell you the bigger scope of what's happening. Yeah, but it does allow me to, because currently we don't have kids, but, um, it does allow me to, you know, kind of build a little one up, even though, if I'm being honest, I've been around kids for a minute, so probably maybe I've been making a difference, hopefully.
Speaker 3:I love that. I actually want to be. I've been trying to get to be a part of it. It's just timing because I was in college. Now my son's a senior, so I'm thinking, after he graduates this year, I'm going to do it and step in.
Speaker 2:I will tell you, I think the hardest part of the whole process is the initial filling out the background check and they have to interview you. But once you get over that hurdle and get through all that, you see your kid depending upon 45 minutes a week or if not, I think it's like two or three hours a month. If you do the community one, oh cool, it's not a huge commitment. In the community one, literally you can go pick your kid up and go play at synergy and hang out and take a bath.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like it's not, but you do have that but I do because of you know the things we're talking about. I want to teach kids to think bigger because, like I said, I didn't have any. I know I was loved but nobody was giving me that value. I'm like, hey, you know you can do this and yeah, and I noticed this skill on you and you should, you know, grow on that and things like that.
Speaker 2:So it's definitely want to share that yeah, I love that, though I have so many follow-up questions, but I'm gonna save it till the end. Okay, I like I literally wrote myself a note okay. So, before we get into your life model, I have one more question for you. What is your mindset when you are told no or the door shuts?
Speaker 3:Look for the window, look for another door. I mean, there's always different ways to do things. I don't know, I'm a fixer, yeah.
Speaker 2:I should think I gave that up, no longer me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but it's just I mean mean, and not just like in people, but just like in in general. You know, I don't know. So it's like if you can't do things a certain way or one way, the door closes, like, figure out a different way, how to go around it, try again. I don't know, maybe you just need a different key to the same door, I don't know. Yeah, but yeah just doesn't always mean that things are over I mean, that's definitely true.
Speaker 2:All right, so drum roll. What is your life motto for us? You can only do your part when you said that earlier, I was like why does that sound so simple, but yet so life-changing? Yes? So what exactly does that mean?
Speaker 3:so that is something that I had to learn the hard way. Unfortunately, a lot of the things I've learned in my life, um, I had to learn the hard way and so now you know like I, I teach my kids everything that I can. But I just noticed that I was always trying to be a fixer in people. Like I said, I've always been trying to, you know, try to misfix it, and so I wanted to fix me and you and them and everybody around me. And you know, it's just that perfectionism and stuff like that and it's like at some point I don't even realize what was the breaking point for that, but I just realized that it was you can't fix everything, you can't do everything. You can only do your part, and that's just. I don't know.
Speaker 3:I really learned that if I want to fix, let's say, a relationship, you can't fix the relationship by yourself. You can fix you and you can fix your part, but the other person has to do their part. That is definitely a meet in the middle situation and, just like I was telling my daughter the other day, relationships when you think about the word, majority of the time most people think of a man and a woman, a wife, a husband, a boyfriend, girlfriend, type of situation. But I told her, I said you have a relationship with everybody in your life. I said mother and daughter, we have a relationship, brother and sister, that's a relationship with everybody in your life.
Speaker 1:I said mother and daughter.
Speaker 3:We have a relationship Brother and sister, that's a relationship. A teacher and student that is a relationship. I said all of those are relationships. You have to figure out how to do your part in each of those relationships. And she was asking like what do you mean? And I said, okay, you're a student. I said a teacher-student relationship. Your part in that relationship is to be respectful, patient, listen, you're there to learn. I said if the teacher is on their part of the relationship is to also be patient, you know, to teach you, to help you, things like that.
Speaker 1:And so.
Speaker 3:I was trying to tell her in every relationship, you have your part and that's all you can do, so you can't force anybody to do things that you want, because you know if. If that was the case, it's like, well, I want to do this and I want them to do this, and you know, but it just doesn't work that way so you can only do your part.
Speaker 3:It's like you know she, she's a teenager and she sees people she likes. It's like you, you want to just go talk to them and think, oh, I hope they like me back and I hope we date and happy ever after, happily, ever after, right. But that's not how it works. It's you got to approach them, you got to see, you know like, oh hi, what's your name? And then, and then that's your part, that is your effort.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Some people may not even be into it. It's like, oh sorry, um, I gotta go, that you did your part and that was their part, so that that's all you can do. In every relationship you think so, not just boy, girl, but in every relationship period, you can only do your part. So I've had that, I've had to figure that out and, like I said, every relationship um with family and friends, and you know like people you think are your best friends in the whole world and it's let's go to the movies and let's have dinner and they're like I don't want to go anywhere.
Speaker 3:Or you know I, you know you did your part. You put yourself out there and it's hard, but you know that's a part of only doing your part as well is facing rejection yeah facing that pain and the hurt and all those bad things.
Speaker 3:But then there's also good parts to it too, so you can have the, you know the fulfillment of doing your part as far as like, okay, I'm having struggles in my relationship, I'm gonna go to counseling. Okay, I did my part, I did the work, I did the you know whatever's needed, and so I like that, like I really do like that.
Speaker 2:So I have a question for you. So when did you, or is there a moment when you were like, like, the light bulb went off, or was it just a time period in life when you were like, dude, I can only do my part, I cannot control like was there, was there a certain moment, that kind of?
Speaker 3:happened. There's been a lot of different moments that I've had that um again in different relationships, in my marriage and my parenting and me being a daughter. I've had that in a lot of different situations, but like so one, there's this one instance in my life and it kind of shaped me in a lot of different ways and it it's funny because it put me I don't know I like where I'm at because of that moment. But there's just a lot of ways that that moment affected me. And I remember my kids were very small and I can't remember exactly what the situation was. I believe my husband had got laid off for a short time and we had already started working again. But you know, from paycheck to paycheck there was a little bit of a you know a distance there and so I've always been a miss resource girl, like even as a teenager I used to get um all the little teenage magazines and um Cosmopolitan and J-14 and all this. I was just J-14?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:Yes, so I With the posters.
Speaker 3:Yes, my room was covered. There was no free wall space. Yeah, it was covered with Justin Timberlake and Backstreet Boys and all the things Craziness, so yeah, anyway, well, I remember having all those magazines. Well, I remember having all those magazines and when I was probably about maybe 14, 15 years old, I remember I was cleaning my room and the magazines they were just like stacked up and I'm like, okay, this is a lot, I got to get rid of it.
Speaker 3:I got to get rid of some of these, and so it was like I had them in my hand and I was like, okay, I need to throw them away. But I couldn't do it, and so I was like I don't want to throw them away without getting what I need out of them first. So what I did it's funny I got construction paper and I cut out all the useful information, like information about what to do when you have period cramps and what to do when you're sad because you broke up with your boyfriend and all the little teenager problems right and so I glued it all nice and neat in this, in this construction paper notebook thing, and I put a title on it just called the book.
Speaker 3:And so I threw away all the magazines, kept all the information from the articles, and it was funny because my friends would come over and they're like I'm so sad. You know this, this, this and my mom's driving me crazy and my boyfriend broke up with me all these stats and I was like you know what, let's get you some advice from my book and I would.
Speaker 3:I would go through there that is hilarious yeah, so I was always missed resource and so still to this day, I have people calling me like what do I do and where I go, and I need this and I need that. So I'm like, okay, I got you and so I've always known my resources pretty well. And then so when my husband got laid off, you know there was this, that short time period, and I remember we were low on food and my kids were really small, I think they were between like two and four years old.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Maybe.
Speaker 3:And so I just remember kind of looking in the pantry and it's like I don't know what I can make for dinner, Like we're going to need some groceries, yeah, and I was the one always telling everybody where to go in those scenarios. But then it was me that I needed to be in that scenario and so I was like, okay, I know that Catholic Charities gives out a box of food. So I went and signed up and everything, and they gave me a box of food, some meat or whatever. And I was like, okay, cool, Like you know, it was a big thing to try to, you know, to get myself to that moment Like, hey, I need some help.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And so anyways. But so I get the food and I go home and I opened the box and I just remember being so disappointed and sad because it was like things that I mean I was only like 20, 21, 22 years old, something like that. It was like lentils and canned beets and like these things that I don't even know yeah and I'm like what? What is it, what? How do I even make a meal for one? And are my kids gonna like that? Am I gonna like this?
Speaker 3:yeah and so, on top of you know, not being able to know how to make half the things or what to make them with, then the other half of the stuff was like expired by a couple of years, and this was a long time ago so this is absolutely in no kind of way, any kind of just to do catholic charities.
Speaker 3:You know, it may have just been a bad day or whatever it was, um, but I just remember throwing away half of the box, you know, and it was like I don't, this was almost useless. You know, like I use the mead and maybe one or two things from the box, like corn and green meads or something like that, but the rest of it I just I wasn't able to use it and I just remember being so sad, not only for myself but for other people, because we weren't in that bad of a situation.
Speaker 3:You know, it was like that one time we needed a box but it just really made me think of what about the other people who depend on this box, like life or death depend on this box. And I just remember having that moment of like I don't ever want to be. I don't ever want anybody else to be in that type of situation. I want to be the person who can help them. I want to be the one to say like hey, you need food, go here go there they have.
Speaker 3:You know they have good stuff for you or whatever. That's where I where I really got the moment of like I want to work at the food bank, I want to work in nonprofit, I want to work in places where I can help people and um. So that was a big moment for me as far as just kind of shaping who, who I wanted to be in the future. That was kind of that first moment of like I want to be something bigger than what I was at the moment. Um, but I just remember that moment because, like I said, it made me think of myself, made me think of what I want for my kids, made me think of what I want for other people, and so there was really a strange instance.
Speaker 2:That was a defining moment for me that sounds like it kind of helped you um realize your um purpose yeah and kind of you know what god has, I guess what god has you on you know earth to do?
Speaker 2:yes, you have a servant's heart, and kind of what angle and how to use it. So my next question for you and you're going to be like, yeah, this is not one of the ones you told me about, but this is part of what I wrote down here. What's question for you? And you're going to be like this is not one of the ones you told me about, but this is part of what I wrote down here. What's next for you? What is what's? What's next for Cinda?
Speaker 3:You know, I thought about that recently, not too long ago. I was just kind of like, oh, wow. You know, it's so crazy to think back of what seems not that long ago, even though I like, wow, I've been at meals for three years. It does not seem like that, yeah, um, because in my head it's like, yeah, I, I just used to work at the food bank, you know a few years ago, and now it's like that's so far in the distance. Now it's like man, it's. It's been a while since I've done that, um, and then, ironically, I still use those skills. We're talking about our upcoming fundraiser and stuff like that and different things we have going on. It's like, how are we going to do the chairs and how are you going to do the tablecloths? I'm like I got you, I know this stuff I've done. I kind of.
Speaker 2:I have an experience in that.
Speaker 3:I'm like I know all the banquet stuff and all that, yeah, so anyway. Um, but yeah, that goes back to you. Know all the banquet stuff and all that, yeah, so anyway. But yeah, that goes back to you. Know all your skills, you learn they definitely. You know volunteering or not, they go with you.
Speaker 1:Use them.
Speaker 3:But anyways. But yeah, I was just kind of thinking of, like man, how crazy to think I kind of went from serving the rich to serving the poor. But I'm very, very thankful, very blessed, to be where I am now and, to be honest, I haven't thought too far ahead as far as what else I want to do. There's been moments, like when I was in college, I had to do several assignments where it was like, you know, create your own brand or create your own nonprofit, you know what would the purpose be and things like that. And I've had some ideas where, like you know, it would be really cool to have a nonprofit that does this and does that and does that. Um, but then I I've learned, also being, you know, a resource girl, knowing what's out there and learning what else is out there, um, I've learned that a lot of the non-profits over overlap and you know a lot of them do some of the same things. You know, same song, different, or I don't know. I guess same song, different dance, I don't know.
Speaker 3:However you want to say it, but they're kind of doing the same thing, on a lot of levels, and so I've always thought about adding some things in there that you don't typically see, or at least not in our area. So I have thought about that. That would be a very big leap. So I don't know. It's something to consider. So you never know, you might see me doing that, but I did go to the SheCan conference last week or this week, I don't know. Time's blurred Last week.
Speaker 2:I'm like I think.
Speaker 3:Yeah, last Thursday, and it's funny. I think yeah, last Thursday, and it's funny I'm sitting there.
Speaker 3:I'm sitting there with Megan Powell, and so we're sitting there and we're listening to the speeches and a couple of the speakers were up there and we were just kind of admiring them and I can't remember what she told me and she's like they're so great and she um, she was just saying something good about them and I was like, don't worry, megan, one day me and you're gonna be the speakers out there, like one day we're gonna be the ones giving the advice, yeah, because I'm, I'm thinking bigger now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm not putting myself down. Yeah, um, you know, um, along the way with the whole, you know, like I said earlier, telling myself as a little girl, think bigger. Yeah, I would want that for myself because I had a very low self-esteem and I know that thinking bigger would have helped that as well, and so I'm very thankful to say that. You know, in no ways at all do I think I'm perfect, but my self-esteem is definitely way better than it's ever been in my life that's important yes, and it's.
Speaker 3:it's those little things that help, things that you wouldn't even think of. You know, like getting a new job and going just starting college and then, especially finishing college, and just you know being invited to be on a podcast and you know whatever it is, but yeah, just you know being thought of and being just you know hearing people just say, like, hey, cinda, I appreciate you inviting me to this place and hey, you know, I thought of you today because of this, and it's like wow, and it's not something that makes you, you know, definitely stay humble, it's not something that makes you have a big head or anything. It's just like you kind of realize what you said earlier. You know like I'm fulfilling God's purpose for my life.
Speaker 3:I'm putting myself in the places that I need to be. I'm allowing myself to be used in the way that I'm supposed to be used. I like that. I like feeling that, oh, I'm in the right place at the right time. It's one thing my pastor always tells us at church Turn to one person and say you're in the right place at the right time. That's a true statement.
Speaker 2:Most times, I remember that god's in the details, yes, um, and that even the moments where it seems like you're alone or, um, you don't have it figured out, just remember that you're not not alone.
Speaker 3:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:He's right there, yeah, and he knows what your tomorrow looks like. You don't. So what a better person to put you know your life, like, give him your life, yeah, he knows, you know he's the author, but anyway, that's a whole other Life looks a lot better.
Speaker 3:in hindsight I'll say that, oh, it's not true to life looks a lot better.
Speaker 2:In hindsight I'll say that oh yeah, that's true, because I mean, if I can like, even the last year and a half for me looks totally different yeah like I'm chilling that all goes back to the what I said earlier.
Speaker 3:You know, bad moments are not. It does not mean a bad life and that looking back in hindsight is like the most beautiful testimony of that, because it's like I remember sitting there and thinking you know I am alone, or whatever, and it's like I was never alone and looking back and realizing that is I don't know.
Speaker 3:It's such a beautiful realization to know. I love telling parts of my story and just you know, even about the food box it's like, like I said, we weren't in dire need because God had us. You know, there was bigger plans and so it's really awesome to look back and just see God's fingerprints, as some people put it.
Speaker 2:So it's pretty cool. But you also, I think, to be to see, um, how present god has been in your life. I feel like you kind of have to I don't want to say be humble, but you have to like get over yourself, oh, absolutely, and like take a second and look back and be like whoa, that definitely could have went this way, but it went this way and realized that had nothing to do with you yeah because I feel like some people.
Speaker 2:They think, oh, you know, I, you know, I may help myself get through that absolutely and I'm like yeah, okay, well I'm saying right now I can count a bunch of times where I'm like that was nothing but god yeah, yeah, we gotta definitely get out of our own way yeah, that's another life model. Maybe I'll do more than one episode just saying okay, what do you stand for?
Speaker 3:I stand for truth okay um, I'm very big on truth, very big on morals, um high values. I just lying makes me cringe. Hearing lies make me cringe, but yeah, I just feel like you know integrity and truth and honesty. It just gets you so far farther than you would think you know.
Speaker 2:Farther than that lie will.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Because you're gonna tell 12 lies for that one lie you started off with exactly, and then remember exactly.
Speaker 3:Well, that's what I was thinking about. Actually, when you're talking about, you know that you're with a little, with the big brothers, big sisters, because what you said, you know, telling a child to stay true to themselves is so genuine and so pure, because having kids who are trying to fit in and force themselves into these puzzles that they're not a piece of like, no, homegirl, you do not belong there um, you know that to me that's part of that truth. And then genuine, leaning into who you are, because I, I feel like that's a big thing of you know, figuring out who you are, because if you're trying to like, well, my favorite color is pink, but that's too bright and everybody else is wearing black, you know whatever I, I love glitter.
Speaker 3:I will wear all the glitter.
Speaker 2:I mean I always have yeah, I mean you'd be dazzled right now.
Speaker 3:Yeah I see you, girl over there. Yes, thank you, but I really did used to even be that person who didn't want to wear bright colors. Yeah, you know, and it's like, why was I hiding myself? You know what I think is cute I think is cute. My daughter is a teenager and my style and her style are not the same in any kind of the sense, and so I would put on an outfit and I'm like you like, and sometimes it's funny, majority of the time she's like mom, you look good, you look cute, you know, fit, chick, yes, ma'am, whatever. But it's so funny because there's times that I put something on. I'm like, oh, I like this, and then she's like, uh, no that. I put something on and I'm like, oh, I like this, and then she's like, uh, no, I don't like that. And I'm like that's why I bought it, not you.
Speaker 2:So it kind of goes with the life model that I. The episode that I recorded was you're not meant for everyone, like, not every. What is it? Not everyone is your cup of tea, or you're not everyone's cup of tea. Whatever it is Both ways. Yeah, I'm like, wait, wait, whatever, confused myself for .5 seconds, but you get the point. Yes, but I feel like when I recorded it it took me a minute to get there. That was not a like, automatic, like I didn't walk out like you, like me, you don't. Oh well, no, I was a fixer and a pleaser and a um would do and all kind of stuff. Like my hair color is yellow. People ask me yellow why I'm like? Because that's what I like, like and then I also realized.
Speaker 3:Another one you don't know how to explain what you like yes, not everyone deserves an explanation and no is a sentence. Yes, I was gonna say I learned, and that is funny because they're I'm not gonna say my age on this thing, but you know, I'm 30 plus and so I'm 34 I'm a little bit older okay my birthday's next month, oh, but um anyway. So I just recently learned and it's funny, because that's another thing I would tell myself as a little girl, I think is never stop learning and well, not just me.
Speaker 3:I mean, I would tell any child that, honestly, like big brother, big sister, like hold on until I get there, because I'm fixing to go in there and give me a little yeah, but um, yes, I want people, I want kids to know and people you know, it doesn't matter your age, don't stop learning.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like oh I, my mom, used to get so mad at me all the time as a teenager. She would tell me something and I'd tell her I know now my daughter does that, but my mom, she would always just say, stop telling me that. She would just tell me, no, don't say that I hate that, or whatever.
Speaker 2:yeah, she never gave me an explanation of why not to say it. We ain't getting no explanation.
Speaker 3:We gotta totally do it, because I told you to do exactly well, I explain things to my children as best as I can, and so my daughter has done that to me. She's like, okay, mom, I know. And I'm like, no, ma'am, you don't know. I'm telling you because you don't know. And if you know everything, that means you're done learning and you're not done learning. You can't say you know, you know, I know to this that and everything. I'm like. And if that was, if that's the case, you don't need a mom, you don't need a teacher yeah like you don't know everything.
Speaker 3:Be open to learning things, because, like I said, I'm 30 plus and I'm still learning things. I barely learned no is a complete sentence. Ooh, that was a what. What? What is a sentence?
Speaker 2:You say run that back one more time.
Speaker 3:Yeah and yeah, yes is a complete sentence. We can say that fine. But no, is a complete sentence is like no, I can, can't do that but I also feel like that's part of our like fixer, like we're like yes I don't really want to tell you no.
Speaker 2:And if I do tell you no, I want to tell you why I'm telling you. Right well, now I'm like nah, I ain't doing that yeah, I don't even give you a, no, I'll give you a.
Speaker 3:Nah, that ain't happening yeah, we don't have to explain ourselves and, and you know, if you want to be tactful, you can, but you don't even know that to anybody. You know, and I'm big on manners, so I will be most likely, but still, I'm not, I'm not doing it. Yeah, but but that um? I recently started learning about boundaries.
Speaker 2:Never knew about boundaries I'm just gonna save you some time.
Speaker 3:Energy, mental space, yeah your life, yeah, all kinds of things. What? I'm like what I'm just saying but yeah, that's a new one to me too. So never stop learning, be open. Yeah, I'm also learning what codependency is. That's a new one to me.
Speaker 2:I realize, I oh gosh yeah is.
Speaker 2:this is where our friends, we're going. I'm like, literally, I just told Erin on I forgot what day, one day last week, and I was like I didn't realize that I'm the person that's like don't go anywhere by yourself, I don't go anywhere by myself, I always have some. Hey, do you want to go to this with me? If they tell me no, then I'm more than likely probably not going. Well, I signed myself up for a class in Midland. Going. Well, I signed myself up for a class in newton.
Speaker 3:Now is it the jacket one?
Speaker 2:yeah, you're going, yes, you're not going alone, okay, okay, well, look see. But I took the leap of faith.
Speaker 3:I did too, and signed myself up because I was like I have my jacket design in my head.
Speaker 2:I hope they help you do it, because I can't draw barely right, so stick fingers, yes, but yeah, that is so funny. Okay, yeah, good to know, bs fun. I'm so excited. Now my deeper faith. Thank you, jesus. You knew that I was gonna do it by myself, but I was gonna be struggling, but anyway, um I forgot.
Speaker 3:I was saying that's what you learned how to go. Oh, because I always like.
Speaker 2:I always like want someone with me. I think it's like growing up with a large family you always have someone with you, um, and then I have always had friends that like were around and wanted to do stuff with me. So that's what I'm used to, yeah. But then I also realized that this season of my life, what I want, what I'm into, um, some of my friends are, but also my friends have lives. I think just about all of my friends are married with kids, um, have full-time jobs. So it's like, yeah, they may be interested in it, but they also just may not be available to do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah and yeah and not taking that personally, but that's real life, yeah, and you know, keeping the relationship and loving through it, but yeah, I'm so excited. I think one of my other friends I did tell her I don't know for sure if she signed up or not, but yeah, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1:So I just made my whole.
Speaker 2:You don't understand.
Speaker 3:I'm excited for that too yeah yes, that's a skill I want to. I definitely want to lean into you know, but to speak on that same matter, I had that same kind of epiphany in my life too, because so my husband, um, he's a homebody and I am I call myself a social caterpillar. That's about right because I am all in it sometimes and then there's other times that I will kind of like oh, I could be anti-social, oh yeah yeah, so I'm a social caterpillar yeah with butterfly wings when I choose to wear is that how that works?
Speaker 2:let me use that one, okay, I don't know. That's what I call myself I just have good days and bad days.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so she's not about that, but whatever. But yeah, so I don't know, but I I just, and it's kind of the same thing I grew up in a really big family and I was used to everybody together all the time I remember my husband, uh, our first christmas, you know, we had our son already and so he's a baby.
Speaker 3:And it's so funny because I remember it was like christmas morning and it was just him, you know, the baby, him and my uh excuse me me my husband and my baby. And, um, I'm getting ready and everything. And my husband's just sitting there chilling, watching TV or playing video games or whatever he's doing, and I'm like looking at him, like well, I don't take him that long to get ready, right, it takes me a lot longer. And then the baby, and so I'm getting everything ready. And then I'm like almost ready. And I'm like are you going to get ready? And he's like for what? And I'm like almost ready, and I'm like are you gonna get ready? And he's like for what? And I'm like because it's Christmas, and he's like and like what does that mean? I'm like we're gonna go visit family and he's like we're gonna what? He did not go, he stayed home and I went to go visit my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, my cousins.
Speaker 3:And he has two sisters and a mom. I have 19 first cousins just on my mom's side alone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's a lot of people yes.
Speaker 3:Just on my mom's side, my dad's side, I'm still counting.
Speaker 3:I still meet my dad's family all the time. I meet new people all the time. That's crazy, but um, anyway. So I, I have a big family and I'm used to that too. And so I remember going alone and I was like devastated. Like I'm newly married, I have a new baby and like this is not the happy ever after dream that I look, yeah, this is not what I'm picturing in my head.
Speaker 3:And so it took me a while, a couple years, till I finally realized like I want to go to so-and-so's house or I want to go to this place to a movie, to go eat or whatever it is, and I'm gonna go by myself with my kid. You know, I'm gonna take my baby, I'm gonna take my kids to go by myself with my kid. You know, I'm going to take my baby, I'm going to take my kids to go do this and that. And it was just that moment and I remember it was like I was sitting in my car, upset, like man, he doesn't want to go with me again. And I finally thought, well, because I had that, it was like I was fighting internally Like I'm just going to go inside the house and just stay here. You, I'm just going to go inside the house and just stay here.
Speaker 3:You know, put myself in this mental prison. But why? So I just left and I went and I go all the time. Now I'm like people are like you're married. I'm like, yes, my husband is at home in his little cocoon, leaving alone.
Speaker 2:I'm like, usually when I see you out, it's usually you and Alex. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, my son y'all be rolling yeah and my.
Speaker 3:It's funny because my kids it's either one or the other. One wants to go, the other one doesn't. Sometimes I have both, but they and you know my husband comes out with us too. Yeah, and people are usually surprised to see him, but that's okay, he's there but I did. I had to learn to go to places on my own and then also now you know, like signing. I didn't know anybody was going to the painting class either and I signed myself up for that kind of stuff and that's where you meet new people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know. Lord help me. I don't know if I'm trying to meet new people or not. I just wanted the jean jacket. There you go. I'm telling you, I have it in my head, what I wanted to say.
Speaker 3:You're like I have the design okay, I gotta start thinking on that yes, I'm like I think I was excited.
Speaker 2:I even tried to give it to aaron to go and he was like yeah, no, he's like, you can go to that. If you want a friend or something, like go ahead and like do what you gotta do, but I'm not going yeah, I was like I said I said, guess All right. Well, final question Okay, what encouragement do you have for the person listening to this?
Speaker 3:All right. So I would say I've already said it but you know, just kind of lean into being yourself and don't be afraid to be yourself. Be the social caterpillar or the big butterfly or a little ant on a hill, whichever one you want to be, it doesn't matter. Um, but you know, definitely lean into yourself, don't be afraid to grow, don't be afraid to learn, to try new things. You know, I I heard this other thing, this thing, the other day, and I was like I never saw it that way, but I thought it was so genius, like start, learn to fall up, and I thought that was such an interesting concept, because you know it's like you fail and you fall down right yeah but fall up, like fall up into your opportunities, like, okay, this didn't work.
Speaker 3:What's my next step? This is gonna get me up to the next thing and up to the next thing, because when I heard that, it made me think of my situation from going from you know little old stay-at-home mom to working at Denny's, to working at the country club, to working at the food bank, to working at Meals on Wheels, to getting you know community awards and being in these places and people knowing who I am when I walk in a room.
Speaker 3:It's like this is so weird but, I fell up. I really did, you know. I just I was, I leaned into being myself, um, and I fell up, you know. So it's like I didn't fall down and I didn't let the bad moments define me. Yeah, you know, I didn't let that take over me and I just fell up. Maybe, even if I did fall down here and there, I still got up and fell up.
Speaker 3:But, yeah, definitely lean into being yourself. If you don't like your situation, change it. Like I said, you can only do your part and doing that, whatever part you got to do, is going to be different a lot of times, you know. Sometimes your part might be to pray, to act, to change, to just be quiet, yeah, to think, um, to move to. I mean, you never know what that needs to be. You can only do your part and I just feel like the easiest way to do your part is to be yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Don't be afraid of being yourself.
Speaker 2:Hey, I'll say it again God only made one you, and that is your superpower.
Speaker 3:That's right. My pastor says that God has our picture on his mantel place Like 8 by 10 or probably way, way bigger. That is too cute.
Speaker 2:I never heard it like that. That's cute, though. Well, that is the end of this episode. So, cinda, thank you for coming on and dropping those gems and um being open and transparent with us. We appreciate it, thank you for having me.
Speaker 2:Oh, no problem. Um, for the listener, I'll just remind you that you are loved, um, you are seen. God has a purpose for your life. There is a passion, um, or sometimes they say the little thing that is, or this idea that keeps popping in your head that the world needs. So don't be afraid to go and try it and do it, and, most of all, you're loved by not only me, but God too.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to another episode of Standing in your Truth with Yanni. And if no one told you today, you are loved, you are beautiful, you are needed and you matter. Standing in your Truth with Yanni.
