What does it take to make a real difference in the world? Our captivating guest, Hannah Horick, shares her story of pushing boundaries in the non-profit sector and politics. Striving to create connection and impact change, Hannah highlights how taking care of herself has been instrumental in her journey. From prioritizing therapy to indulging in hobbies like playing the violin, she’s not shy about the importance of self-care in her life.
Hannah's story takes an unexpected turn as she opens up about her personal experience with an abusive relationship. Unveiling the harsh reality of the cycle of abuse, she highlights the psychological tactics employed by abusers, as well as the significance of community support in escaping such a situation. Her firsthand insights underscore the vital work carried out by the Crisis Center, a lifeline for those in need across a nine-county area. From therapy to tangible resources, Hannah shows how the center's extensive services are making a difference every day.
We also delve into the empowering aspects of Hannah's journey. As she discusses the importance of self-confidence, controlling one's own narrative, and staying true to oneself, it's clear that Hannah's experiences have made her a staunch advocate for victims of domestic violence. We touch on education, understanding, and the center's Certified Partner Program which focuses on spreading awareness about domestic violence. Wrapping up, we reflect on the importance of empathy and kindness, a reminder that we should always be mindful of others' stories. This is a conversation that truly demonstrates the power of resilience and the immense potential of the human spirit to overcome adversity.
What does it take to make a real difference in the world? Our captivating guest, Hannah Horick, shares her story of pushing boundaries in the non-profit sector and politics. Striving to create connection and impact change, Hannah highlights how taking care of herself has been instrumental in her journey. From prioritizing therapy to indulging in hobbies like playing the violin, she’s not shy about the importance of self-care in her life.
Hannah's story takes an unexpected turn as she opens up about her personal experience with an abusive relationship. Unveiling the harsh reality of the cycle of abuse, she highlights the psychological tactics employed by abusers, as well as the significance of community support in escaping such a situation. Her firsthand insights underscore the vital work carried out by the Crisis Center, a lifeline for those in need across a nine-county area. From therapy to tangible resources, Hannah shows how the center's extensive services are making a difference every day.
We also delve into the empowering aspects of Hannah's journey. As she discusses the importance of self-confidence, controlling one's own narrative, and staying true to oneself, it's clear that Hannah's experiences have made her a staunch advocate for victims of domestic violence. We touch on education, understanding, and the center's Certified Partner Program which focuses on spreading awareness about domestic violence. Wrapping up, we reflect on the importance of empathy and kindness, a reminder that we should always be mindful of others' stories. This is a conversation that truly demonstrates the power of resilience and the immense potential of the human spirit to overcome adversity.
Hello everyone, welcome to season two of Standing Youth's podcast. I'm your host, yanni. On this podcast you will hear myself, family and friends having open-ended discussions on anything from faith, finances, relationships and how to stay motivated during life trying times. Make sure you follow me on all my social media. Link it in the bio, sit back and get ready to enjoy. Hello, hello everyone, welcome back to another episode. I know I've been gone for a minute, I know I put out a little something, but it doesn't matter. You girls back, we're back and we're ready to play. And I'm black, but black I can't even freaking talk. That's how you know. It's been too long. I'm back with a guest, so I'm gonna allow her to go ahead and introduce herself.
Speaker 2:Hi, my name is Hannah Horick and I am here to talk about all sorts of things.
Speaker 1:I don't know why they made me laugh. Okay, so before we really get to the main reason why you're here, we're gonna start it off with a little house question. So the first one is what motivates you?
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that. I think one of my biggest motivators is this idea that bringing people together and connecting other people can impact some sort of change. Like I suffer from a terrible bout of people pleasing as well, but so much of that really manifests in me trying to like take what resources that I have and find somebody else and bring them into that fold, or take what I know, or like someone who I know who's doing really good work, and connect them with somebody in need, and that has, like, really driven me towards this nonprofit space. It's really driven me towards politics. It's really driven me in a lot of different directions and I think that, like, the desire to help people network and connect really is a huge role in that.
Speaker 1:That's a skill.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:You are the person that says hold on. I know somebody for that.
Speaker 2:Yes, I did that this morning and every time it happens. I'm very pleased with myself.
Speaker 1:Okay, thank you for the long time. All right, how do you protect your mental health and what is your self care routine? Oh, I love that too.
Speaker 2:I've really started to pay a lot more attention to that self care routine of late. The biggest thing for me is therapy. Like I'm a huge advocate for therapy. I really fought it for a long time on a personal level and found a therapist who's the right fit. I had started. It took me a couple tries but found somebody who's the right fit for me and really make going and participating in that process a priority and from that have really developed a lot of stronger self care habits. So she helps remind me to get out of my own way, get out of my own head, spend more time doing things that aren't quite so analytical. So I spent a lot of time working on things like art.
Speaker 2:I have an excessive number of houseplants that I really love to take care of. Most of them have names. You have a green thumb, I have a green thumb. Some days I can't keep like a succulent alive to save my life, Like you know, like the little cacti and stuff like that. But if it's big and tropical, like I'm great. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 1:It's supposed to be the other way around.
Speaker 2:No, it is. Everybody gets that same reaction. Like the quote unquote easy things can not keep them alive. I've killed so many cacti. Cannot do it. I don't know if it's a watery thing or what, but I have so many tropicals in my house and they're so, so happy, so I love wearing plants. I've really sought out a lot of music lately, whether that's like going to concerts or listening to music in the car or learning to play any music and you play instrument.
Speaker 1:I do.
Speaker 2:I'm a former band kid who's learning to play the violin. It's like my like kind of quarter life crisis and I'm really excited about it.
Speaker 1:The violin, that's interesting.
Speaker 2:I'm not very good. I'm very good for somebody who's operating at like a sixth grade level, but as a person in her late 20s I feel very bad for my neighbors. So I'm really grateful that they, like I don't think, can hear me, but I try to practice at times when they're not around.
Speaker 1:So what's your go-to song right now? What is one of your favorites?
Speaker 2:I'm in this real mood with the chicks, formerly the Dixie Chicks. I just went to the chicks concert over the weekend and so, whether it's listening to them especially like old late 90s, early 2000s, like really feminist country, or attempting to, like I said, badly play that on the violin like it's all, like I'm in this real country, kick right now.
Speaker 1:It's very fun, it's okay, I give you points for trying something new.
Speaker 2:It's been a real experience.
Speaker 1:It makes me kind of because so technically my name I'm named after is a PN, so that's how I got my name. People always say can you play the piano? I'm like, absolutely not. No, but maybe you could do it. I call it the piano lessons are going to be very expensive. You know I will actually get off.
Speaker 2:I will tell you about the place where.
Speaker 1:I take lessons. It's not that bad, really, and it's your no-dessa Really, oh shoot.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna find a hobby.
Speaker 1:Oh, therapy, therapy's my jam. I didn't realize how much well really therapy and thought about this shit over with the Lord, but how that really like changed my thinking and like going forward. Like I think I said in the last episode that I recorded that I wouldn't be able to process the relationship that I'm in right now if I had not gone through therapy to work through some of the childhood stuff and then just some of the stuff in my prayer relationship. If not, I would have just been dragging it to the next one and then that would have been that. But Absolutely.
Speaker 2:I think, like some of the biggest things that I've worked through our relationship dynamics, whether they're like things with, like family members or a past relationship that was really, really toxic, that I needed a lot of help like working my way out of and so much of that, I think, has set me up for success going forward because you're exactly right, you're just gonna carry it all with you until you learn how to process it.
Speaker 1:For sure. And you don't realize how it'll show up, that thing. People like, oh no, I'm here, you really not. And it'll just show up little by little, little things somebody would do would automatically set you off. You don't know why. And like I've had those talks with myself, I'm like, no, he's not that same person. So you're gonna have to figure out what you're dealing with right now, because it doesn't go back to you.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. You can't just like put all that in a box and never touch it again. You have to work your way through it. Yeah, cause it'll pop up.
Speaker 1:Alright. The next question is what advice would you give your younger self?
Speaker 2:Oh, there are so many things that I would tell her. So many of them evolve Like please remember to you know, style your hair in a way that doesn't make any sense Like they're like pigtail braids.
Speaker 2:No, it's been way too long in my rotation. No, I think I would tell her to give a lot more grace to herself. It was really really hard on myself. I set like very high expectations and really high achiever but I like didn't give any room for failure and I didn't give any room to ask for help. And there are so many things that I look back on now as a person who's like embraced some new mental health diagnoses and just challenges that I'm facing as an adult, that if I had asked for help when I was 17, that all of those would be a lot easier to handle now and just things that I would have been able to have time to figure out. And like if I'd just given her a lot more patience, I think that you know she would have been a lot happier.
Speaker 2:And so there's a lot of things that I would just go back and like tell her to breathe and remember that like the world's not going to fall apart. You're not personally responsible for all of those things and I'd like to think that you know little Hannah would listen, but she was really stubborn.
Speaker 1:I've heard I've been stubborn before too, but anyway, the next question is what is your mindset when you are told no or the door shuts?
Speaker 2:I think it depends on the context, but I really try to remember that things aren't personal, that like the worst thing that can happen, like I'll have a lot of anxiety leading into a situation and remember I have to remind myself that the worst thing that can happen is that I get told no in most circumstances and when you frame it that way, like the no feels pretty severe because it is like the worst thing that could happen, but it's not world ending and I think that's what I have to remind myself. And then so often getting a no, professionally or personally, is about another person and their boundaries and their needs and has absolutely nothing to do with me. And so, whether it's in like a relationship or, you know, trying to build a connection with somebody and it not landing things like that like I just have to remind myself that like that's somebody who's communicating clearly and giving me a chance to say, okay, like this didn't work, I'm going to go a different direction.
Speaker 2:So I don't waste time and energy trying to keep opening that same door.
Speaker 1:That's a pretty positive mindset to have. I try.
Speaker 2:It's not always as easy as it sounds, but I definitely is something that I've worked on for quite a while.
Speaker 1:At this point, yeah, but I mean shoot. The mindset plays a huge part, so I'm going to let this next question lead into the big thing. So what is one moment in your life that has really shaped you, are made a huge impact on your life.
Speaker 2:Oh man, for me that could go. It feels like it goes so many directions. No-transcript. You know, right now I'm in this really pivotal point because I'm getting I'm actually getting ready to leave West Texas and so I've been reflecting a lot.
Speaker 2:I know I feel like this is the first time I've said that without like the catch in my throat. I've been reflecting a lot on how I got here and why I got here. And the pivotal moment for me, I think, is after I graduated from college. I had just finished working in briefly after college in the Texas legislature and I had gone to do all this like really cool policy work and really like fell in love with the idea of using these structures, using systems of government, to help make people's lives better in this like really broad, systematic way.
Speaker 2:But I saw all of these people doing it without any like really lived experience in those fields and said to my little 22 year old self, like I am going to go and work in, like in the field, I'm going to go work in social work, I'm going to work in human services, I'm going to go, like, get my cut my teeth somewhere and then I'm going to go to grad school and I'm going to learn how to write policy. It's been a long time since I said that to myself, and when I went looking for what that could be, I was living in Austin and I couldn't really find anything that felt right. And I stumbled across this, indeed, posting for this little nonprofit in West Texas. I was looking for it.
Speaker 2:We used to call this position community service managers and I was like, ooh, community service, like ding ding, ding, love that manager. Okay, like that seems like that sounds like a very professional, like first time job for me. There was no management involved. It was total misnomerance why we don't call them that. And I read through and this job description was like you need experience in public speaking, which I had, and you had to have a passion for education, which I, you know, still have and a few other things that were really highlighting on like teaching young people about healthy relationships, and really thought I knew what a healthy relationship was then. I know much better now what that looks like.
Speaker 2:And I threw in a job application and the whole thing happened so quickly and that is actually how I ended up here in West Texas was from that role and it's this like window of just a couple like really of like weeks, but maybe even so short as days, that dragged me from, you know, east Texas and Austin so it's kind of splitting my time between the two out to West Texas where I had literally never been before, to like totally start from scratch post college in this world, where I've now been for six years and I love just so deeply and there's really like shaped so much of like my life and professional experience and it's so, it's just so interesting to me that like this like very small series of judgments and choices like just rocketed me out into this very weird world that is the.
Speaker 2:Permian Basin that I've come to like, really, really love.
Speaker 1:It's funny, you see, your story just reminds me of one of the things that I have is God's in the details, and I feel like sometimes, when things are, when he's in the midst of it, it's easy and it's light and it just happens and it is life changing. So the condition reminds me on that, but I love that, so that indeed post. Yeah remember it. So I guess, what thing do you remember from most, from that, indeed, post and where was what? Was that indeed post? For what nonprofit.
Speaker 2:So the the details of the new post, like I just remember so vividly these bullet points of like education and you had to be comfortable talking to kids of different backgrounds and you had to be willing to speak in public, and they are a few other things that have stood out. It helps that I've gotten to write a couple of these job posts. So then, like man, there are some things that just like really stood out and comfortable in the classroom.
Speaker 2:you know some experience with curriculum design and then creation and that kind of thing, and then I, you know, I see the organization that it's for, and then the name of the organization didn't inherently tell me anything about it, but it's for this, this phenomenal place that's called Crisis Center of West Texas, where I still work, because my whole plan to be here for nine months was no, I was, I was adamant I was going to be here for nine months. I got a 10 month place and I was ready. I was ready to come in, get some experience, hop out, go to grad school. Because I was like that's what I'm going to do.
Speaker 2:And thank goodness that that was not the route that I went, because the Crisis Center, as we like lovingly call it kind of colloquially is, has just like really turned into this home and family for me, but it's also been such a great like learning and teaching experience and I now know a lot more about what we do, which is really focusing on serving survivors of domestic and sexual violence, and that has really just given me this passion for that work and all of the different worlds that it connects to, because there's something so intersectional about interpersonal violence it touches everybody, regardless of your gender, your demographics, your social, you know socioeconomic status. Like, everybody has capacity to be a survivor of domestic and sexual violence and a lot of us are. And now that I can see that and I've like lived in this world, I've learned a lot about myself and my relationships, but about the relationships and people around me, and oh, it's just yeah that that moment feels very like transcendental, of like how I ended up here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that so. So I know I asked you this question before we started recording. She's like hold on, I have an outside on the podcast.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I'm sitting here and I'm like wow that is like very interesting how you got here.
Speaker 2:Yes, I know it's not a short story. It's not. It's not that long, but it is. It's not like, it's not a straightforward path and I'm glad it's the one that I ended up on yes, ok, so back to Crisis Center.
Speaker 1:So let's kind of break that down so make sure that everyone fully understands. So, for sure, what area do you guys serve?
Speaker 2:So we serve what we refer to as a nine county service area. So we're recording here in Odessa where Crisis Center is located. So we have an administrative office in Odessa and a shelter in Odessa and I'll get into that in more details in just a second. But we serve nine total counties, so eight outlying more rural communities outside of Ector County. So it's Andrews, ector, crane, gaines, loving, reeves, pekas, ward and Winkler counties.
Speaker 2:So lots of like the Permian Basin. We don't. You'll notice, if you're like a Permian Basin listener, that I didn't say Midland. That doesn't mean that somebody who's not on that list can't come to us, but like we will go to people in those places. So we'll go provide education in those places, we'll go actively do certain kinds of community partnerships in those communities. But anybody can come to us from anywhere. So if you're in Midland, or we've had clients from Mexico, we've had clients from Oregon and New York State and Florida and just interfaced with somebody from Pennsylvania a couple of months ago, like they're from all over. I'm someday I'll sit down and I'll make a list of every state that we've kind of touched through a client. But it can be, anybody can be from anywhere if they come to us. But we really focus our efforts, especially like when we're building our staff and like where they go and where they spend their time in this particular like nine county community.
Speaker 1:Okay, and then it's. I know I think Midland does have a similar nonprofit that can. Technically, they can't come to you, they can call theirs, which is.
Speaker 2:Absolutely safe place. So there's kind of three categories of services that tend to be paired together. So we do services for survivors of domestic violence and survivors of sexual assault, but we focus mostly on adults. Then we would also add to that list would be like child survivors of sexual abuse and neglect and those kinds of things. So in Odessa we partner really closely with Harmony Home, who focuses on abuse and neglect of children, but we handle all the adult stuff. Kids can come and get all sorts of services from us. They can live in our shelter, they can come with their parents, but our focus is the adult and they bring their minor children with them. Harmony Home's focus is the children. And then in Midland they break it up a little bit differently. Safe place focuses solely on adults survivors of domestic violence and then there's another great organization in Midland that's called Midland Rape Crisis and Child Advocacy Center and they do sexual violence prevention and resource focus with adults and kids.
Speaker 2:So you can kind of split it up a lot of different ways. In places like Austin they have all three of them combined in some communities. All three of them are separate. Really just depends on the community, but we've got some really really good resources here. Not just a crisis center, but really all across Midland, Odessa.
Speaker 1:Yes, and the funny thing is I realized that if you're ever come to. I guess it's the admin building for Crisis Center. That's nice to Harmony Home.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:They're like neighbors. Yeah, they're like right there.
Speaker 2:So that's pretty, share a parking lot. Yeah, they say that you guys work together I can.
Speaker 1:I can see how and why, because y'all are like right there.
Speaker 2:It's ended up and it's ended up being like really convenient over the years, the things that we get to partner with them just because of the proximity.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and some other, I would say some of the clients, I guess, to some degree.
Speaker 2:There is actually some overlap. We have a lot of situations where you'll have an abuser living in a household who is abusive to maybe their spouse, and so you might have a parent of a child, a children, who's experiencing some sort of physical, emotional, sexual or financial abuse and they would qualify for services with us. But if they're also abusing or neglecting children, then those kids might get more tailored services at Harmony Home. So they could definitely be seeing a counselor for their children next door and they're seeing an adult counselor for the adults over in our office. Wow, that is crazy.
Speaker 1:So to count as an adult, is that? What? Is it 17 or 18?
Speaker 2:So that's a really interesting question. I'm glad you asked that because I don't always remember to bring up some of the nuanced areas where we deal with older teens. So typically for us adults are 18 and older, just like straight forward, like legal age, not necessarily tied to that age of consent. But Texas has actually gotten kind of creative with how we deal with our ability as organizations to respond to instances that involve teens in particular. So if you are, let me see if I can get this right.
Speaker 2:So if you are 16 or 17 and you are financially independent from your parents or other guardians and you live independently of them and are a survivor of some sort of dating violence or domestic violence, typically there would be dating family, some sort of domestic violence, not necessarily sexual violence, not like stranger assault. Necessarily you would qualify to come and live in shelter under certain circumstances and there's a couple of other parameters they need to meet. But older teens can absolutely come and get services as adults in certain settings. Any teenager and actually any person of any age so you could be technically a preteen in certain situations who is parenting can be treated as an adult and come and get services.
Speaker 2:Because, generally speaking, when the state is concerned, if you're already a parent or you're pregnant and you're living independently of your parents, then you can get services as an adult. So if we have, maybe, a 15 year old who is a parent which is a really complicated situation in and of itself they could come into shelter to get away from an abusive partner without having to get permission from their parents, and things like that. Those are really complicated. Often they involve other agencies like CPS, things like that.
Speaker 2:We want to make sure we're not just getting them out of that abusive situation but we're building some long term safety and stability. So often they're not going to just end up with us, but we've definitely taken in minors in these kind of emergent circumstances. Before in Texas, law and a couple of just really smart policy decisions have allowed for shelters to do that.
Speaker 1:That's really cool. I thought of that question but I'm like that's cool, but that's for someone who needs the services.
Speaker 2:That can definitely be a help Absolutely, and it's nice that we don't have to wait, because imagine if you're 17 and you happen to fit these circumstances, but there's probably a reason you're not living at home. There's probably a reason that you haven't already decided to go back home to your biological parents, or maybe even grandparents, things like that. If you're living independently of the adults you're supposed to care for you as an older teen. There's probably some reasons for that and we take those reasons into consideration on how we're moving forward and do we need to make a report about some other circumstances. But typically speaking, we're able to provide some kind of emergent care and it can be really nice in a lot of those cases, but a lot of that is case by case. The vast majority of our clients I can think of a handful of teens we've served in those settings over the years but overwhelmingly our clients are adults and they're either coming in by themselves or they're coming in with some kiddos with them.
Speaker 1:OK. What services or programs does crisis enter? Is that my way?
Speaker 2:exactly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's a great way to phrase it.
Speaker 2:So the biggest thing that people think of is the shelter, and our shelter is formerly called the Louise Wood Angel House. It's named a lot of people just call it Angel House, but it's formerly named after Louise Wood, who was a philanthropist across West Texas. The Wood Family Foundation has been a longtime supporter of Crisis Center and of other organizations in West Texas. They really have invested a lot in the community and so they were the initial donors for the shelter and made a substantial contribution, and we wanted to come up with a cool way to say thank you for just really being so integral in our ability to build this new shelter that opened in 2019. So we've been open for Well. So you were there when the shelter opened. It was the shelter's like my baby.
Speaker 1:I feel like I got here in 2017.
Speaker 2:And I got here November of 17th. We broke ground for the shelter in December of 17th and then we opened in April of 2019. So the building's just over four years old. I'm very excited for our fifth anniversary. I feel like we get to like just really celebrate all of the things that it's gotten to do and how many people it's gotten to house and keep safe over the years, and I'm just I'm really looking forward to that milestone for us.
Speaker 2:But it's a 61 bed emergency shelter so people can come in all hours of the day. It's 24 seven. It's always staffed. There's 17 bedrooms and they range from a room with two beds that are a little bit more spacious, that are ADA compliant, so that a person who uses a wheelchair can like safely navigate through the room and they're not bumping into everything at every turn to three person beds, so that might be a parent and two kiddos. It might be three adults. And then our last size is the five person family bedrooms. So two bunk beds, one regular bed, and each of those bedrooms has its own bathroom. It's a really beautiful state of the art facility it is like. One of my favorite things is that everybody has their own air conditioning unit in their individual room. So, like you do have to agree with your roommate and your children what your?
Speaker 2:temperature is, which for some people, I'm sure is a challenge, but it's nothing like having to agree with your entire floor of people about, like, what is an acceptable temperature in the middle of the night.
Speaker 2:But it's really spacious, it's really light.
Speaker 2:We try to make it as just, accessible as possible, because people coming out of situations that are rooted in domestic violence and sexual assault are coming out of situations where they just don't have any power. That kind of abuse is really rooted in power and control. So the more control we can give to these individuals to make their own decisions when they make their meals, what they eat, where they go, what their kids are doing, all those things, like as long as they're operating safely and they're not endangering themselves or others, like, we're pretty happy to let people live these independent lives because that's what we're trying to build them up to do. So the shelter really helps with that and about half of our clients over the course of a year will live in the shelter. And actually just looked at our numbers for the first half of 2023. And from January to the end of June, we had about 450 people that we served at Crisis Center in general and a little bit more than half of those were folks who lived in the shelter, so it's a pretty busy place.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so how long can they stay in the shelter? Is it like one in one with the only have a couple of days. It depends a lot on their situation.
Speaker 2:So kind of the stock answer is that it's an emergency shelter, so everybody gets 30 days by default. But if you get to the end of your 30 days and you're still unsafe, you still don't have a place to go. Maybe you're working towards your goals but you just you're not quite there yet. Then we can do an extension and you can extend your stay. And there are people that have stayed for quite a lot longer than 30 days. I can think of one family who, because of their situation, because of danger, because of just her unique challenges getting housing, things like that they were with us for came out to about 23 months, so just under two years. Some people it's six months, some people it's a year, some people have three days.
Speaker 2:For some people communal living is not for them. They're ready to go back. They just needed a place to stay so they could get a bus ticket or they could get their life in a specific kind of order so that they could leave and go to another city or another state. There's so many individual circumstances. On average, people stay about 35 days. So you get this huge range and I'm working on making those numbers more accessible so that they make more sense when we talk about it, because there's so many people who just stay a few days and there's so many people who stay for a very long time that 35 isn't necessarily super telling, but it is the average of what it shakes out to be.
Speaker 2:But it's so much more than the shelter and I could talk about the shelter all day, every day, but we also offer and all of our services are free and it's really important to us that the people know that that's always the case. The shelter's always free, the counseling is always free, the case management, which is like individual advocacy whether that's helping somebody get a job or it's helping someone figure out what benefits they might qualify for, or helping someone in safety plan, which is where you kind of walk through your life and make decisions about, like if your abuser shows up or if you're in a dangerous situation, and what do you do, what do you grab, where do you go, who do you call? What are my priorities in that moment? How do I keep myself safe? How do I keep my kids safe?
Speaker 2:And case managers do a lot of that with our clients and all of those things are just wraparound services that we wanna make sure that our shelter clients have and what we call our non-resident clients have, because maybe you ran into abusive relationship 10 years ago but you're not now, but you're finally starting to unpack that.
Speaker 2:You've maybe gone to therapy and realized that you've been in abusive relationship where some trigger has helped you identify it or you just didn't know crisis center existed. And now you do and you want to come and get counseling or something like that. There's so many reasons people come to us after the fact, but they can come, and they can live in their own homes or with family members or wherever their situation allows them to, and still access all of those same services. And that's really important to us that people know, because so many people think, well, I don't want to live in a shelter, I don't need to live in a shelter, so why would I go to a crisis center? And there's so many good things that we can offer that are even more than shelter.
Speaker 1:So lots of things. I'm just like. I think I knew you guys had a shelter. I didn't know the details minded, but definitely you guys have that. So how can the community support crisis center?
Speaker 2:I think there's kind of two big categories for me. So the first one is kind of your traditional donation path. So of course we always accept monetary donations. I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't let people know that monetary donations are the most flexible and they mean that I can meet a survivor's need like day of like. If they come in and they need size seven and a half shoes and they have to be turquoise because that's what their job needs. Like the likelihood that I have that in our storage is pretty low. But having flexible funds mean we can buy bus tickets to keep people safe, we can buy size seven and a half turquoise shoes, I can buy kids school supplies, all of those individual pieces.
Speaker 2:and we're very fortunate to get a lot of support from the community and a lot of support from state and federal grants things like that, especially when it comes to taking care of clients, but sometimes those specialty things or things that our educators need to go and present information in interesting way to classroom students. Like, not all of that is always quite as available, because that's how the nonprofit world works, but in kind donations are also very, very much appreciated. We're right now, and really in just kind of an ongoing fashion, really noticing a shortage of larger sized diapers. So we have a lot of kiddos, like little kiddos, that live with us. In the last six months we've had 45 kids under the age of five that have lived with us and that's just in the shelter. So a lot of those kiddos need diapers and a lot of those kiddos are either they're just bigger kiddos or they're maybe dealing with trauma that's interfering with potty training and so they need pull-ups.
Speaker 2:They need size four, five, six diapers Like we're very fortunate that we're really well taken care of on newborn size one, size twos. But man, is it hard to find size five diapers these days and that can be a huge help. So little things like that or school supplies gently use clothes are always appreciated. New clothes are even more appreciated because if you've dropped everything like, you'll take what you can get, of course. But if we can give kiddos new clothes to wear to school, it helps just make them feel that much more confident as they're taking on a new school year. Maybe they're going to school while living in the shelter.
Speaker 2:That can be a complicated dynamic to work through, but our website's a really good place to find an active donation list. We keep an Amazon wish list that pretty well updated on what things we need. But really I always encourage people to think what do you need every day to survive? You need your phone charger, you need your cosmetic products. I wanna be able to wash my hair and wash my face and take a shower, put on deodorant all those good things. I want clothes. I need maybe things to plan or to plan my life. We love planners for our clients. There's a lot of different things and I think we forget sometimes what small things make such an impact on our day to day. So I just encourage folks to kind of walk through their day, like if you can't live without your blow dryer, then maybe your blow dryers or a blow dryer is the thing that you donate to Crisis Center.
Speaker 2:We love hair tools. There's always a need. I can see that. Yeah, they are like one of our most popular donated item. But then the flip side of that is especially for folks who may not be in a position to make a monetary gift or donate something that's generally used or new would be to just learn more about the work we do. So listening to interviews like this, reading about things on our website, calling and asking questions Anybody's always welcome to reach out to me and ask questions or set up a meeting about how they can help Reading on our website, reading I've got so many book recommendations on domestic violence that I would happily give to people. Just the more people know about it and they can help keep an eye on their neighbors or bring in a presentation from our education team so that they know the dynamics of domestic violence those kind of things.
Speaker 2:I think when we're talking about what is really kind of an epidemic of violence and I use that language and it feels so strange to use it when we're not talking about COVID or something like that, but it really one in four Texans experiences some form of severe physical violence over the course of their lifetime. That's just physical violence and it's just Texan. So like if you're in a room with 20 people statistically five of them, especially if the room is dominated by women, but not exclusively. We serve all adults, men, women, everybody but if you're in a room of 20 people, statistically five of them have experienced some sort of severe violence, or they will, over the course of their life. We know those people.
Speaker 2:Those people don't live in isolation.
Speaker 2:Like you have a cousin who you know has a temper and who you sometimes worry about his wife.
Speaker 2:Or you have a sister who you make excuses for because she is female and how she treats her spouse is perceived differently because she's a woman. Or we all have people who we wouldn't leave our kids with because we don't necessarily feel like they're the safest caretakers. And I think it's honest to start asking questions about you know, how do we keep each other safe and learning like how do I safely intervene? Because DV's cases are can be really unsafe to intervene in, like it's not something you want to jump in the middle of a fight, but we do offer a lot of information on how to engage in those cases and I think if somebody really wants to give back. You know, you check yourself, you check on how you treat people and you check on how the people in your network treat each other, and you ask questions in your community about how we can, just like, build this mutual understanding, mutual respect and try to, you know, break some of those cycles of violence.
Speaker 1:So would you say there are for the listener that's listening there may like. Are there certain signs that maybe they can look?
Speaker 2:for.
Speaker 1:First, maybe they're neighbor that may be going through a situation Like there's some. Hey, you know, maybe, if you see this, you know, maybe pay closer attention, or I don't know Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Every situation's different, but a couple of things that I encourage people to look out for is the biggest one for me is isolation. So domestic violence thrives in isolation and really a lot of violence does. We are safer as a community. I think it's part of why community building is so important to me is that when you have a network, when you have a church, you have a friend group, you have, you know, a social group or you know a family that looks out for each other, we're all a little bit safer because if somebody doesn't show up, you know one day they don't come to the family gathering, they don't come on Sunday morning.
Speaker 2:Then there's someone who cares and notices that they're gone, and I think that's it's the moments when people aren't allowed to have those connections and when they're kept away from those support networks that we should really really start to be aware. So you know new relationships that result. You know we all have that honeymoon phase, right, like those early relationships. You know everybody's just feeling big feelings for each other. Maybe they wanna go have, you know, their own time, right. You just wanna be with that person because they're so wonderful.
Speaker 2:That's not what I mean, cause there's always a space for that but like the new relationship where they or even a long standing relationship where they just don't come around anymore and you know someone is, either you can tell that they want to come, but they have to ask permission to come, that kind of thing when somebody's being kept away from a social group that should give us pause and that should really encourage us to keep looking and learn a little bit more about what's going on.
Speaker 2:There's kind of the obvious signs of, you know indications of physical violence bruising, broken bones, things like that unexplained injuries, medical trips that can't quite be explained. You know the kind of movie example of you know the black eye that can't be explained, that kind of thing like oh, I tripped and I hit my eye on the doorknob. I have quite literally done that. But you know you have to look at the other things around them and go, okay, what other factors might be a player? And just ask questions and let people know you care about them. But you know yelling and screaming coming from neighbor's houses, that kind of thing, big changes in behavior, can be one big indicator.
Speaker 2:So somebody that suddenly dresses a lot more conservatively in a new relationship or suddenly dresses a lot more promiscuously, people who have to ask permission. They're not seeking consults with their partner, they're not coming together to come up with a plan as a team and a relationship they're asking permission. Can I go out with these people? Can I go and have this outing with these friends? You know that kind of thing. Those could be some small ones, but it really looks different in a lot of different relationships and a lot of different dynamics. And so sometimes just trusting your gut is a good place to be, and I think the biggest thing to do going forward with that is like, if you have that red flag, if you have that gut feeling, if you see those indicators that you think something might be wrong is to just work on breaking down that isolation.
Speaker 2:It's work towards reminding that person that you care about them, just checking in and saying, hey, we miss you, you know, is everything okay, we'd love to see you. And reminding them that someone cares, reminding them that someone's there for them. And if they give you any sort of indicator that something is happening, if they tell you something, believe them and say I believe you, I hear you. You deserve better than that.
Speaker 2:It doesn't have to be combative, and we have to remember that in these early conversations that on average, it takes someone seven times before they leave.
Speaker 2:So if you're the first person to come and say, hey, you deserve better than that, there's a really good chance that they're not ready to act on that information yet, and so they may need you to be supportive in an ongoing fashion. So I think it's a good reminder that, like you might be the very first time, you might be the sixth time, you might be the 12th time that somebody's heard hey, I think you deserve better. She shouldn't talk to you that way. He shouldn't put his hands on you like that. Whatever reminder it is that you're giving them that support, that wrap around, that reminding them that they're valuable, that they're loved, that all of these pieces, that it may still take them time, and if you need to remove yourself from that situation because you aren't in a position to wait for them to be ready, then that's okay. That's a boundary that you have to set, but when possible, you know, give somebody some space to come around because they might need a little bit more time.
Speaker 1:I think that's it's funny you say that saying seven times to leave. So I was married once upon a time and I went through more of like verbal and emotional abuse and it's funny I'm sitting here thinking, when you said this seven times, I was like dang yeah, so it really wasn't for sure. You started off with isolation so it was only like the church family and the church family that was like his uncle and they kind of were all like yeah, girl like you just got to get out pretty much what they were telling me, which were bananas, but anyway.
Speaker 1:And then when I started to connect with some old friends and the funny thing is like he told me, like what happens in his house stays in his house, so it's like you don't go out and say stuff, so I really wouldn't tell them anything, but they would come around and just I think, see the dynamic, and they'd be like dude, like what is happening, Like you know, you just say but I'm like hey, no, I'm not going to talk about that.
Speaker 1:And then, I think, started hanging out with the friend more and then I finally actually told my family. So my family, I was made in Louisiana. I didn't have any family there, families either in California or here. So when I was there my family didn't know. So if I didn't tell them they didn't know. So that's what I'm finding. That's a point where I think that friend kind of was like hey, like for real. So then I kind of, I think I went to one of my cousins wedding out here and I was around my family and everyone kept saying oh, you know where's your husband or how's it going. And I'm like like trying to skid skirt around the question and not actually be like but I mean, those who know me know like we asked me something. They get on my face like it's going to be.
Speaker 1:So it's one of my. It's kind of gotten to the side and she's like, hey, what's going on? And that kind of. I think that's what started the process of me leaving that relationship, was that? But oh yeah, when you said isolation, I was a man. I'm thinking ding, ding, ding ding, ding, ding ding ding ding, ding, ding, ding ding.
Speaker 1:that's like I'm. When you mentioned it first, I was like for sure, like for sure, and I definitely do agree that if you know someone that is going through a situation, to give them that that time to process it, because a lot of times I even realized for people who are not even, they may not even like be going through abuse, it may just be maybe be cheated on, which I guess, that the flood that's like emotional abuse to some sense for sure, but and they're like, oh, you know, I don't know about starting over or they have to, like they have to work through all those calm reasons or excuses or whatever it may be.
Speaker 1:Like they have to work through all that to be able to process, to leave, because I for sure, I definitely was that person, I was like I don't know about this. I just don't know. And we about to stay, because I really think if I would have stayed in that I'm sure I would have either been like heavily dosed from somebody's depression medicine or just probably honestly committing suicide, because I was like so depressed at that moment I was like what is happening?
Speaker 1:It's so happy because I was no longer myself. Like when you're in those situations you don't want to be yourself, because you, to a certain degree, I feel like your, whatever that person has tried to mold you to be wants to break you honestly to become so. It was yeah, that was a time that's not. There's a lot. Therapy is important. It is.
Speaker 2:So it's so important and it's and it's wild that, like, we're all such unique individuals but that, like, everything that you're saying like really resonates with like some of my experience, but also with like when I hear from our clients and this we talk about the cycle of abuse and how the honeymoon period evolves into this period of like, walking on eggshells and minimizing yourself because you're going to change you in that situation to make it better. You can't change. You realize really early on, you can't change him, you can't change them, so you but you've changed you. And then there's some sort of acute incident of abuse, whether it's a screaming match or it's an active sexual violence, or it's an active physical abuse or something like that. And then there's we jump right into the honeymoon with the apologies and the promises to change and the couples therapy and the you know pledges to go to church, and and it comes in all these different forms.
Speaker 2:And then the cycle starts right back over and and it's so hard to look at that as someone who's never been in that situation or who's never heard any of that language and you maybe you don't have any therapy language that you can reference and have any understanding for that person of like, why they stay. But I think you hit the nail on the head when you're talking about how they they try to mold you, they try to break you down, because it's not that people you know with. You know some people come into abusive relationships with very low self-esteem. But it breaks at your self-esteem to be in an abusive relationship and you were. You're really cut down in a lot of ways and at the core of it all there's so much denial but so much of that is survival, so much of that is self-protection and there's all these other elements to it that that can be really, can be really taxing.
Speaker 1:And so it's.
Speaker 2:I think it's it's really important when people like feel comfortable enough to share your stories. I'm glad you did. But even like, even in the abstract, like so much of that just brings true for people over and, over and over again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's another reason why I was like I want to find a podcast because I feel like my story. There's so many other people that have a story to literally them. That's why the podcast name is standing in your truth, because, like I want you to stand like stand and watch your story. So my name is Yoni. Yes, I have been through. I got married at 22, divorced at 28,. Probably should have been divorced at 23. Yeah, for sure. 23. Lessons learned.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure, Girl don't drag it out Like it ain't gonna change and it's just well.
Speaker 1:I mean, I say that the Lord be doing some things, but I just feel like a lot of people sometimes just need a safe space to come and tell their story and to unpack it and to be able to release it, Because I feel like, honestly, especially like the first couple of episodes, there was a lot of just about me and releasing and to be able to tell the person listening that you know, hey, I made it, it's okay, Don't be ashamed of your story. Like it's your story. And I feel like sometimes to I think Aaron says that sometimes, to take away from the shame, you just have to just admit it, Like yeah, I'm the worst. I've been divorced. That is what it is. You know that's part of my story, but I don't know. It's so crazy.
Speaker 1:I think, when at first, I was like I didn't want to tell anyone though Like I didn't want to tell anyone what that was like I mean, I'm family new, but outside of that, like I didn't want to tell anyone what it was like to be married to him and what that was like, Probably because he was like I ain't going around lying and lying on my character and I'm like, am I? I think I was telling like this is my story. Side note for anyone who goes to anything, they would definitely try to make it seem like you're freaking cuckoo.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the gaslighting is very, very real.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you will not. They will make it seem like that didn't happen. And I'm sitting there and I'm like bro, because even to the degree of word my ex said how do he word it? I'm the reason he has trust issues. I say just math ain't mathin. I'm like, how do you got trust issues? He's like, oh, because you left the marriage. But look at why I left the marriage. It's stuff like that. And I'm like, but if I feel like I kind of had to grow and realize and definitely work on my self confidence to realize that, nah, but I'm glad I started way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that takes a lot of courage to like be able to reflect back on, too. That's it's such a common reason why people stay. Is that that fear of like, what is what is my family going to say? What is his family going to say? You know, there's so many relationship dynamics that keep us in that moment. Like we own a house together, we have kids together, we, you know, there I have to explain this to people and there there's a lot of shame, there's embarrassment, and I love the idea that, like you stand in your truth and it's part of your story because it happened. Like there's very little control. I, in so many ways we have about things. We have no control of what has already happened.
Speaker 2:We have no control of what's in the past. We have very little control about what happens in the future and a lot of categories. So you can decide to lean into that and, like you, get to control your your own narrative and how you feel about it. And you know I'm very partial to the Eleanor Roosevelt quote no one can make inferior, make you feel inferior, without your consent.
Speaker 2:This idea that, like you get to decide how you feel about a divorce, you get to decide how you feel about therapy, about ending a marriage, about being a person who self identifies as a survivor. Other people are entitled to their own opinions but like they're, fundamentally you have to live with yours and you get to live with yours. So you might as well, you know, set it up in a way that makes you feel empowered and feel like you have control over how you present yourself to the world and what they say. You know it feels like it matters so much in those moments, but the more I think we feel stronger in ourselves, the easier it is to go. You know I will. I don't want to spend time with that person. Why would I trust their opinion? Why would I seek out the opinion of people who I don't even care to spend?
Speaker 1:time with, and I've also realized that a lot of people that comment on certain people's stories like I think a lot of times if they just spent a little bit more time this probably sounds so tough, but anyone can say it If they spend more time reading about what's going on in their own house, Because a lot of times I feel like they're flashing their might over here because I don't want to deal with them in their own closet but that's another story, because I mean, that's that's what I think, what I dealt with with him.
Speaker 1:A lot of them are like, oh, you got to do a lot, so I'm like, yeah, and you need to go get your husband because he's cheating.
Speaker 2:I do find that I've encountered people over the years who will say well, I don't know why, you know so and so didn't just leave. And so many times it's not, it's coming from this place of like, lack of empathy and lack of understanding.
Speaker 2:But every once in a while it's also coming from this place of like well, I've dealt with worse than that. I don't know why they didn't leave. It's like you're asking the wrong question. Why didn't you like? Why didn't you leave? Like what? How can we support you and you, understanding that you deserve better? Like not only does this person deserve better, and they've taken the step to get themselves into a life that is where they have power and control over their own decisions and they have, you know, support for what they need and what they want.
Speaker 2:You also deserve this, so yes sometimes you know the noise is coming from inside the house and I think that's a really telling moment too for a lot of people, and it's so common.
Speaker 2:You know, one in three women experience some sort of domestic violence over the course of a lifetime. I mean, that's that is too many people. It is too many people. And it tells me that there are too many conversations like that happening, where someone is saying why did they stay? And they are in the same boat, or people aren't. You know, we're just not talking about these things enough, we're not educating ourselves and each other. We're not like we're hiding and you mentioned this like what happens in this house stays in this house, and you know, I want people to have their own autonomy, I want people to have privacy. I think those things are really important. But what's also important is that, like, kids grow up in safe homes with safe role models.
Speaker 2:What's also important is that people live in healthy, safe, respectful relationships. And if you can't have a safe, respectful relationship in your house, it's on us, it's on our community, on our network, on our tribe to keep us safer and to intervene and to be the aunt who pulls you aside at a you know, at a wedding and says what's up, because she cares about you and it is her business whether or not you're safe, even if it's happening behind closed doors.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no for sure, I think now going forward. I don't know where I saw this at, but it's like I strive now to be the adult that I need it, so I just I don't know, I'm really big on like how can I help? And I'll ask you like, like you know, are you okay if you're my friend? He was funny, so I think I might have asked Aaron that question to me in time. He said why are you asking me this? And I'm like, I'm just asking you know, if you're okay, like just checking in.
Speaker 1:But I think also I have to realize that when you're not used to certain stuff, it does take time to get used to. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's hard to get comfortable answering that question genuinely. I think I find more and more a willingness to answer it genuinely in certain spaces, but it's certain spaces. Yeah, it's got to be particular, because there's not everybody's ready to hear you say I've had a really hard week and to do something. That's not just like complain about a coworker or something like that, like when people so often we have this like casual, like informality of people ask without the hope of a genuine answer.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I think we are more successful if we have more relationships where, when somebody asks it, they genuinely wanna know.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I can think of a few people over the course of my life who've asked, and I'm like oh, everything's great and they'll be like no really, and I love those people for that, and I can think of a couple of particular conversations over the years that like really took me back, that somebody bothered, like somebody who we didn't expect was like no, actually, I would really like to know how you're doing, and I don't actually think it's going as well as you say it is.
Speaker 2:And you know it's vulnerable position to be in. Oh, all over the face, all over, like I. So I don't play poker, it just doesn't go well for me. But you know, it's so nice that somebody is engaged enough and it's a vulnerable place to be to own it and say, yeah, I'm not okay, but that's what people are there for.
Speaker 2:That's why like it's not shameless plug, but that's what organizations like Crisis Center are for. That's why we employ therapists, and you know sometimes when somebody walks in our front doors and you say hey, you know how are you, it's good to see you.
Speaker 2:They, you know they have not had a good day, they have not had a good month, and you know something really heavy and serious and scary is going on, and so we have to be cautious about how prepared we are. So when you ask someone, I think you ought to be ready for a genuine answer, and we are better people when we're prepared to meet that with a genuine response.
Speaker 2:So so you said the way you said they can walk in, can you just walk in to get counseling? So counseling is one of those things. Most times when you need to meet with a person, then you are going to need to have gone and done what's called an intake. So you can always walk in to get started with services, but you're not necessarily going to get to walk in and meet with somebody like right off the bat.
Speaker 2:Although pretty often if you come in, especially if you're in a crisis situation like we're going to move and we're going to make sure that you get taken care of. So the most common process by which somebody comes into services is that they either walk in or what we encourage people to do is actually call our 24 seven hotline, and the hotline number is 866-627-4747. And it doesn't have a 432 number, but it is local to Odessa. It's actually answered in the shelter by our staff 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It's answered on Christmas.
Speaker 2:I was actually supposed to help work at this afternoon but I got caught in a meeting. But things happen and so we're there constantly to make sure that there's somebody there to connect with a survivor. And people call and the call is pretty standard. So say, if you called the hotline, somebody would answer. You know, crisis center of West Texas, this is and they're gonna say their name Because we really want people to know that there's a human being on the other end of the line. And if you call back, you could say yes, I talked to Hannah. Yes, I talked to Lori, you know, yes, I talked to. You know, cami, whoever, and all of those are real people who work at crisis center.
Speaker 1:They're all wonderful.
Speaker 2:But so they would call in and they say that and then you know, typically our intake advocates are gonna ask you know how can I help you? Tell me a little bit about what's happening, what's going on, and what we need from the survivor is for them to do just that. We, you know, are going to ask them to tell us what they need, but also a little bit about what happens. So if you want shelter, we need to know that. If you want legal advocacy, so an attorney, we need to know that. If you want counseling, we need to know that, that sort of thing. And we're gonna ask a little bit about what's happened, because we do need to confirm that somebody is a survivor. They just need to tell us. You know, I've been in an abusive relationship.
Speaker 2:I'm a survivor of physical violence. I'm a survivor of sexual assault. I was raped, you know whatever happened. Just a little bit. They don't have to spill out their whole life story on the phone, and it's really important to us that that's the case, because that's hard to do and you're talking to a faceless voice on the other end of a telephone and that's not the place to just, you know, tell your entire story, though people do. And if they want to and if that is how they just like. Sometimes it just comes out.
Speaker 2:You start talking and it just snowballs, and you're just ready for somebody to hear you and we're ready for that if that's what happens, and then we'll ask a couple of clarifying questions if we need it and if they need to come into shelter. Typically speaking, if you qualify for shelter, we're gonna hold your bed for 24 hours so may take you time to get packed up. Maybe you need a ride, Maybe you need to come into town. That kind of thing we will help with transportation. We don't go pick people up. It's a big safety concern. But they can get to law enforcement, get brought in by law enforcement. They have a couple of different safe and secure ways that we get people to us that we don't go into a whole lot of detail about because it keeps it safer.
Speaker 2:Or if they're just someone who's interested in counseling or case management they should need some support, but they don't need to come in right this moment. Somebody will follow up on a safe phone number. We always check, make sure it's safe to call them back at the number they're calling on. We don't have caller ID because it's a safety concern. So if you ever get a call back as a client, then often it's coming from a no-caller ID phone number and we always try to remind people of that because that could be kind of intimidating. But better that than have our phone number on your phone where somebody might be able to see it. So we'll call back in a couple of business days. A case manager follows up and they get started with appointments. They get them referred to a counselor. Right now I think our turnaround time is less than two weeks for counseling and we really really try to keep it as short as possible and they'll get appointments.
Speaker 1:If somebody walks in.
Speaker 2:Typically that whole process is basically the same. They just we would put them in a quiet space in our office. We have a couple of empty offices or a conference room that they would sit in and we just put them on a phone directly with one of our intake advocates and they do the same thing, but just from the quiet comfort of our office. Wow, you're dumb. Not too many walk-ins because we're on the South side and not a whole lot of people just like drive up and come in. But sometimes they do and sometimes people.
Speaker 2:It's interesting sometimes people drive up to the shelter and try to get into the shelter like via the front door and like just want to just walk in, and it's no. There's a process to this. You don't get to just come to the shelter. We've had to explain that a handful of times over the years. Most people are really understanding as soon as we tell them why it's a safety concern. You go through the process and we let you in. It's really pretty straightforward. But yeah, we encourage anybody that's trying to seek any sort of care with us to give us a call first. It's the safest way. It's free 24 seven.
Speaker 2:If they ever have a hard time, I always tell people if they ever have a hard time connecting with us, try again. Try our administrative number. We technically have a different phone number for the admin office. After hours it forwards to the shelter, so it's always answered. But if at any point somebody has a hard time connecting with us or a negative experience with somebody on our staff, we want to know. It's really. I mean, these situations can quite literally be life and death and the last thing in the world that we want is for a phone error because technology is not always our friend. This week it has not been our friend at the office.
Speaker 2:We're doing some tech updates and they've not been friendly to our phone system. But you know, if some sort of tech error or a human error, somebody accidentally gets hung up on and we really want them to try again, we can't call them back without their explicit permission. It's just unsafe in too many circumstances. But if anybody has you know it was listening to this and he was like, oh well, I tried once and it went straight to voicemail and nobody ever called me back. There's a lot of reasons that that could have happened and we I mean I would be so sorry to hear that that happened. But if they call again, we will get them connected to somebody that they need. That's really important.
Speaker 1:Okay, this is probably. You're probably gonna say, yeah, they can. If somebody that was to DM because another big thing is now is everyone's on social media I'm sure that your private is gonna reply back and say call this number.
Speaker 2:Pretty much.
Speaker 2:So I run all of our social media and it has an auto responder. So like, for example, our Facebook, has a email address associated with it. If you email that or if you DM us on anything, I think we're not set up so you can DM us on Twitter. We're not like the most active Twitter users in the world. We're not like 15 to 16 home最近 and so damn it.
Speaker 2:It's not that if you monday, we're not accepting what we get and you're not sending like five or six calls of greater authority. So there goes our YouTube and if you call us, there's the same up and we've got four people that we need to contact and contact Also, and there's a tech and she'd like to were not first responders. I wish that we had all of the tools and skills in the world to be able to jump in and pull people out of unsafe situations, but our partners in law enforcement are absolutely where that needs to go and we understand that that can be hard for a lot of people. There are a lot of situations that make calling law enforcement not feel like the best option, but we are not an alternative to law enforcement in those cases and we work really, really closely, especially with ODSAP-PD, to make sure that they're trained, make sure they're supported. They actually have a couple of really great tools, including one called the Lethality Assessment Protocol and that helps officers work with a survivor to identify the level of danger that they're in.
Speaker 2:Because there are certain things that are much higher risk than others. So if you've been threatened with a firearm or another weapon, if anyone has threatened to kill you, we tell people all the time just to take those threats seriously. History of strangulation and anybody that's obstructing breathing. So anybody that's willing to put their hands around somebody's neck or throat those kinds of things are at much, much higher risk of committing homicide against somebody in a DV situation than someone who has only done instances of emotional or other forms of physical abuse. And that's not to say there's anything less severe about certain forms of physical or emotional, financial or sexual abuse. Those are all the trauma that comes from. That is incredibly valid. But there are certain things that really really indicate higher risk of lethality. And we've got some great partners. Actually, in Ektra County it's both the Sheriff's Office and PD that we work with in terms of identifying that lethality.
Speaker 2:But there are some folks that have really worked really hard to make sure that they're talking to survivors in the moment During a DV call at the house saying, hey, you checked, yes, on too many of these questions for me to not tell you that you're not in danger. And I'm telling you, as an officer, that this indicates. This tool tells me that he's going to hurt you or she's going to kill you, and that's when they really encourage the person to call Crisis Center. They actually call us with the client on the officer's phone and not everybody's ready to talk to us. Just like I said, sometimes you need more times and you just haven't heard it from the right person in the right time in the right headspace yet to be ready to get out of that. But sometimes that is a good trigger to have people go. Oh OK, yeah, this is the time. I know it's getting worse. I know it's escalating. I see these factors. Let's make some change.
Speaker 1:So OK, last thing, you touched on it earlier. So you guys go out and present information. So I guess, how does that go? Who can call you? Who do you present to? Is it a certain?
Speaker 2:client or Really Anybody. So I'm trying to think of anybody who I would turn down, but I can't think of anybody. So it's a mix. It's our education team, which is a team of right now it's three folks who mostly in the past have focused more on our school groups. So we encourage counselors and teachers to reach out if they want more information. We're kind of revisiting some of our in-school work that we're doing, but school groups have traditionally been kind of where we've done most of our education.
Speaker 2:But we've also built a program that we call the Certified Partner Program and I have done so many variations of that in a lot of different places. So we've worked with nursing students at Odessa College to teach them about the dynamics of domestic violence so that when they go out into health care they can identify this in their patients. We do a lot of training with law enforcement. I've spoken to church groups. I've spoken to individual businesses. Really, if you have a group of friends and you called and said, hey, I've got this group of 10 ladies that are having dinner at my house and we'd like to learn more about this and how we can help, I would go to that like hands down.
Speaker 2:I'm speaking at the pilot club tomorrow. We've worked with the rotary. We've worked with a couple of different rotaries. Actually Different civic organizations like that are really common, but I mean I've spoken at oil and gas companies and nonprofits Really a lot of different places across the board, because we're trying to get out a couple of different things. And the focus of the program, the Certified Partner Program, is to really build awareness about crisis center in general. So we talk about all the services that we offer. Then we break down the dynamics of domestic violence.
Speaker 2:What does this abuse look like? What are the red flags Then? What do you do when you see that? So you've identified. Ok, this is DV, this is domestic violence. Where do I go from here? And so it includes what to say, what not to say. How do you help refer someone to our hotline? A lot of the topics we've covered today, actually, but in this formal compact. You know what I think you qualify. Given that I came up with a program, I feel like I have some flexibility here.
Speaker 1:That means I need to bring you a sticker. Ok, I'll always stick it. I'll put it on my water bubble. There you go.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, the really only thing that you do is you sit through this hour-long presentation. Sometimes I'll build in more time if it's a really big group or somebody that I think is going to ask a lot of questions, but we do about an hour, hour and a half presentation. We ask that they hang what we call tear-off flyers. You might have seen them in bathrooms around Odessa. It is our logo and information on the flare part and it's at our little hotline at the bottom and people can tear off tabs. People are always welcome to request those from our office for their bathrooms and we ask that our partners hang them in their bathrooms and then they get a little sticker that says they're a certified partner and it's like a window cling and I'm very proud of them and I think it's a cool way to kind of brag like, hey, this is an organization or an individual or a group or whatever that cares about supporting survivors. So, yeah, so now I think you definitely qualify.
Speaker 1:You don't have to get to one. I don't know if I have anywhere to hang the tabs. I'll have to figure that part out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll work on the getting them. Actually, I don't know if I could just hang it up in there. We'll just wallpaper the room. I really like the idea of wallpapering the whole room.
Speaker 1:It has to have a lot of them, and then we'll just think of them. You all come in and be like uh, take it with you on the way out.
Speaker 2:Exactly so.
Speaker 1:it's a couple people that are technically record out of here, so it's password and alarm.
Speaker 2:I just want to say thank you.
Speaker 1:So I was technically we've been recording this like a long time ago, but life be life. It's best be happening.
Speaker 2:Um but I'm not very busy, ladies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, to say the least. Um, but I just want to say thank you because you know I'm not on the bottom of the community.
Speaker 1:I am, but I have you so often, not every so often, but your name comes up a lot Like you're doing things, thank you. And for you just to sit here and educate me along. Anyone who's listening on this wonderful organization and I think the level that you speak of it, just speak about it tells me how much you know and how passionate you are about it, and I can only imagine the impact that you've made there for whether it be the staff or the survivors, the community in general. Just out educating you know all of us, so just thank you. Thank you the survivors, their families I'm sure they appreciate it.
Speaker 2:So on behalf of them, I say thank you.
Speaker 1:I appreciate that I'm just going to make a cheesy smile on my face. I want to say it's.
Speaker 2:It is genuinely like when people talk about a labor of love, or like you know, if you love your job, you don't have to work a day in your life. I really love my job. I really. I have very that is a good team. This is a group of people that cares about West Texans. It cares about women, it cares about survivors, because we know that that doesn't just include women and it is. It is so cool to get to come and share. I mean, it's literally my favorite subject.
Speaker 2:I think, I can't think of anything in the world. I'd rather talk to anybody interested about other than this.
Speaker 1:Well, that's. I'm glad that I was able to get you on, because I feel like one of the things that I've realized that I'm really into is nonprofits, and I feel like we have a lot of great nonprofits and more students, but a lot of them, I feel like, just don't get the exposure that they need. Yeah, I did not expect that.
Speaker 2:As a non native West Texan, I came out here and I thought this is you know, they're not going to be supported, they're not going to be well funded, they're not going to be like there's not a good volunteer opportunities, there's not going to be that many of them. I was so wrong. I was so wrong. There's so many. And this like beautiful world, it's like interconnected world with all of these organizations and like everybody kind of knows everybody.
Speaker 2:She can't get away with anything, which is wonderful and terrible, but in the best, way like if crisis center needs help, like we know who to call, and that is a really fortunate place to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah for sure that is nice, so keep in mind. She said they need phone chargers, diapers, not the little ones. Right now the bigger sizes pull ups clothes. When we said clothes is it? Do they need like women's clothes, men clothes, any type of clothes or certain?
Speaker 2:things.
Speaker 2:So, if you're listening to this in the summer of 2023, then I really need, like school uniform clothes for kiddos, so like things that they can wear to any of the middle schools that are ECISD. But as a general role, like if you want to play it safe, I want comfy clothes for mostly adult women, so like yoga pants, sweats, plain t-shirts, sweaters. Think of, like what you want to wear when you got home from the hospital, because so many people are coming to us from you know emergency medical care. What do you want to wear if you don't have anything else, like if you're home, you're lounging, you're trying to be safe and comfortable, that kind of thing. So like if it's got an elastic waistband, like I'm all over that Because like that are very, very, very helpful.
Speaker 1:Okay, and then what about, like, as far as the shelter and feeding, do you guys take food donations?
Speaker 2:We do take food donations that we're very fortunate to be partnered with the West Texas Food Bank. So we the executive director always describes it as like Amazon, but for the food bank. So we go online and we order in bulk all sorts of dry goods and produce and things like that, whatever they have to offer, and they bring us a giant delivery once or twice a month and then we supplement with groceries, things like that. So monetary donations are great for food. Shelf stable stuff is great, things like that with food. We just ask that people call in advance because like, if you know, we almost always have a pretty full house. We stay. We have 61 beds. We stay very consistently in the high 40s to the high 50s and term in terms of like our nightly census, we typically have more children than we have adults. Usually it's like 35 kids, 25 adults kind of situation. So we stay pretty busy.
Speaker 1:But it's just hard to know kind of like what the specific need is that week.
Speaker 2:So we'd ask the people call the dry goods are great. We're setting up a pantry for our clients who don't live with us to come and shop in so they can come and just pick up what they want. We've been giving out food boxes for some time, but we really want to give them more choice and more power in that, so they can pick things that they actually want to eat, so dry goods are great Hygiene products.
Speaker 2:Yes, we love, love, love.
Speaker 2:Sanitary napkins, pads, that kind of thing. Tampons and shelter toilets not a great combination. So we do ask that people not donate tampons we will take them and give them to non-residents but any kinds of like you know, anything that's related to like feminine hygiene, super appreciated. Baby wipes kind of in the same broad category, very appreciated. All kinds of toiletry items so like shampoos, conditioners, face wash. Deodorant is a big one that we go through like crazy Toothpaste. If you use it every day or every week to get ready, we need it Definitely can use any of those items.
Speaker 2:Cleaning products are always welcome. Trying to think of what other big ticket items we have there's. You know, if somebody is like moving and is looking at getting rid of furniture, replacing furniture, we will take those things. In a lot of cases it depends on our storage. We just ask that people call Same with like baby stuff. So strollers, we can always use strollers. We have so many young children that we're caring for or supporting with their, their young parents. Things like that can be super, super helpful. Leftovers of baby foods we have a lot of moms who wean kids off a formula and they bring us their extra cans of formula. We can take it as long as it's not expired, things like that. But truly anything folks think of they're welcome to call. They can ask for me directly.
Speaker 2:So with that number, yeah, the you can call the office the easiest thing 432-333-2527, or. I'm a really easy to get a hold of. It's Hannah H-A-N-N-A-H at ccwtxorg, so they can email. You can DM us on Facebook or Instagram. You will get that automated response. But if you get a direct message back on Facebook, it is yours truly.
Speaker 2:So people send a lot of donation requests. I'll take closet cleanouts, We'll take pantry cleanouts. Like you know, people are welcome to get creative and if we can't take it, it's almost always because of storage, and we take truly everything that we genuinely think we can give away. If we say no, it is because we think we really don't have a client who's in need for it. But we will do our best to help them find somebody who can.
Speaker 2:And that's the best thing about the Permian Basin, I think that I've discovered lately is if you communicate with other nonprofits. Like I got a text yesterday that a donor had reached out to one nonprofit about donating some computers and he didn't need them, so he sent them to me and I didn't need them, so we sent them to somebody else and like so someone in the Permian Basin is about to get a whole bunch of new computers for their nonprofit and I am super excited for them. We're very fortunate that we just did an upgrade that I don't have to deal with anymore. But yeah, it's going to be. It's going to be good. People are taking care of people around here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can definitely see, that's why I'm just like I don't know. People are always like there's nothing to do and I'm like go volunteer somewhere yeah yeah, you got time.
Speaker 2:Yeah there's, there's something there's so many like. We only do a couple of big events every year April, the sexual assault awareness month. October is domestic violence awareness month. Those are great months to get involved. Our big fundraiser, our big annual fundraiser, is at the end of January, come 2024. People are definitely welcome to reach out to us about volunteering for that. But if I don't have time I'll put somebody on a list and if they want to ask like hey, I'm interested in your mission or something like it, you know, is there somebody who does have something right now? I will call around for you. Like I will shoot a mass text out to my folks and see if we can find something. Like we just are in the business of connecting people, yeah that's true.
Speaker 1:I've realized that a lot of the nonprofits do talk to each other, which is nice. It is very nice. Well, it does for sure. Just once again, I want to just say thank you for giving me your time and allowing us to be educated on your wonderful organization.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you, and thank you for for having us. I mean, dv can be a really heavy topic and especially to anybody that makes it all the way through this conversation I'm really grateful for because it's it's hard, I think, to really get into some of that, like with your own self and with, like you know, with the impact that it has on so many people, but I think it's really important and I'm grateful to have the space to talk about it.
Speaker 1:For sure. Well, those are listening. Remember that you are loved, you're one of a kind God does not make any mistakes and just make a smile and it costs nothing to be kind. I've been like saying that, and the more I say it is, the more I'm like dude between that and God is in the details, like those are like that's my jam right now. That's kind of what I keep chucking with.
Speaker 2:I'm like okay, I don't see any details, cost nothing to be kind, and also you never know someone's story.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:So they can be having one bad day.
Speaker 1:So just because you get some bad customer service, which I think we're all guilty of. Sometimes you'll be like it's a bit thicker, you don't know she may not have no place to stay. She may not have no like you don't know, you don't know. So just keep that in mind and peace out people.